Ghazal: Ek diya mayoos sa.
 

sdc pariwaar ke sabhee sadasyo ko mera namaskar.apnee ek aur "koshish" lekar aap logo ke saamane haazir hoon.meree ye "koshish" kis had tak ghazal ban payee hai.iska phaisla aapko karna hai. aapkee beshkeemti raay ka intazaar rahega.


Sardiyo'n me'n dhoop khilnaa saa lage.
Tera ghar aanaa bahut achcha lage.

Zulmato'n* ki had huyi raate'n meri,
Har diyaa maayuus saa jaltaa lage.

Aye hawaa aahista chal is baagh me'n,
Phuul Ke paikar* se Ik kaa'ntaa lage.

Chal chale aa baadalo'n Ke paar ham,
Apnii chhat se ye dhanak* rastaa lage.

Shaakh se sab Zard* patte'n gir gaye'n,
Mera daftar bhii mujhe uthataa lage.

WO nahii'n haasil to kuch haasil na ho,
Baato'n se to tuu ufaq bachchaa lage.

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Zulmato'n = darkness
Paikar = body
Dhanak = rainbow
Zard = yellow

Uff ak Sb Ji............ ! Aap Ki Ghazal Ke Ehsaasaat Pasand Aaye ....... Baqi Aap Mehnat Jari Rakhen Or "BEHR" Ki Taraf Ziada Tawajjo Den....... INSHALLAH Boht Jald Aap Boht Acha Likhnay Lagen Gay......

Sada Khush Rahen Or Likhtay Rahen

[QUOTE=uff ak;433271]sdc pariwaar ke sabhee sadasyo ko mera namaskar.apnee ek aur "koshish" lekar aap logo ke saamane haazir hoon.meree ye "koshish" kis had tak ghazal ban payee hai.iska phaisla aapko karna hai. aapkee beshkeemti raay ka intazaar rahega.

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bahut achi pyaaro ghazal huee hai bhayee meri taraf se mubarakbaad :)

sardiyo men dhoop khilana sa lage.
tera ghar aana badha accha lage.

very nice acha matlaa hai...


zulmato kee had huyi raaten meree,
ek diya mayoos sa ladata lage.

bahut khoob ....... bahut achy daaad

he hawaa dheere baho ki baag men,
phool ke paekar se ek kanta lage.

bahut khoob ..... kyaa nazuk khyaal hai bhayee.... bahut acha

hawaa dheere chalo.... baho ki jagah acha lage to dekh lena

rang haatho men pakadane chal diye,
meri chhat se ye dhanak rastaa lage.


hmmm acha khyaal hai bhayee aur saaf ho saktaa hai...
bahut acha khyaal hai

zard patte shaakh se girne lage,
mera daftar bhi mujhe uthata lage.

haha... bahut achy kyaa sher hai waah ...
bahut achy... kyaa shayri karte ho yaar ... waaah

phir abas teri gali men chal diye,
jab gaye humko dikha parda lage.

hmm ise fir se dekhne ki zaroorat hai...

wo nahi milna to kuch bhi na mile,
baato se to tu UFFAK baccha lage.

acha maqtaa hai bhayee..... .. bas na.... ka wazn jahan tak ho 1 hi lena chahiye ye urdu mai choti awaaz hai.....
isliye ise fir se dekh leN... na ko 1 wazn par hi laye ya iisse bachy


bahut acha lagaa padhnaa... masoom si shayri hai...
dil choo gayeee

Regards

[QUOTE=janumanu;433274]
fikr bhai,aadab. kaise hai aap? bhai aapko meree ye "koshish" ek ghazal lagi. mere liye isse badhi baat kuch nahi ho sakatee.bhai, shayri ke field men main bilqul naya khiladee hoon aur mere aas-paas koi bhi aisa nahee hai jisse main apnee "koshisho" par islaah kar saku.bahut accha lagaa jab aapne harek sher ko alag-2 rakhkar EVALUATE kiya.aapse meree ye darkhwaast hai agar mumkin ho sake to aage bhee isee tarahe meree rahnumaee karte rahe.baharahaal bhai,aapne meree"koshisho" ko jis daad o mubaraqbad se nawaja uske liye main aapka shukrgujar hoon.:)

ji bhaut sundar ................................. :)

WaaH ! BehtreeN !!

AchChhe Aur Khoobsurat Ashaar Kahe HaiN ... !

Umdaa Ghazal Huii .. UFFAK JI !

Mubaaraqbaad !!! :)

jee bahut-2 shukriya.......................................... ....................:)

namaskar,naresh jee.mujhe khushi hai ki ye "koshish" aapko pasand aayi. daad o mubaraqbad ke liye aapka shukr gujar hoon.:)

uffak saheb aadaab,

kaise haiN aap?
aapki ye koshish bahut achhi lagi mujhe....meri jaanib se daad qubuul kijiyega...:)

he hawaa dheere baho ki baag men,
phool ke paekar se ek kanta lage.


ye sher meraa sabse pasandeedah rahaa... Daad na nazraana qabool karen

Shaad...