Sdc ghazal-collective ghazal
 

Mai ek naya silsila shuru karna chahta hu.

Har mahine hum 2 ghazal post karenge dedicated to SDC.

It will be numbered as SDC -1,SDC -2 etc along with an appropriate Title.

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PROCEDURE:

har koi ek sher likhega...beher me ho to accha , nahi ho jab bhi theek , no issues. hum sab collectively theek kar denge.:D

15 days ka time hai aap sab ke paas apne apne sher darj karne ke liye.
ek member sirf ek sher darj kar sakta hai.

use baad ye cycle phir shuru ho jayegi nayi ghazal ki...tab tak jo sher aaye hai unki marammat ki jayegi.. :p

ek member matlaa likega pahle. sab sher us matle e hisaab se usi radeef qafiye me hone chaiye.

after 15 days the ghazal will change and someone else will write the matlaa.
all ghazals will be numbered and posted in a seperate thread as SDC GHAZAL.

who nows guys...some ghazals may turn out to be si superhit that someone may sing it in aa album...this is your shot at glory.

first i will request shaaad sahab to write a matlaa...so others can continue by adding 1 sher per member and make it a ghazal.

at the end we will have 24 ghazals per year.

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shaad sahab agee aaiye...matla kahiye ...aapse request hai. ...

( anyone can seek clarifications...bus ek baat kahta hu...is thread par gundagardi sirf meri chalegi:p)

shaaad sahab the floor is yours...kindly give us a matla.

Hats off!.....zidd sahab

Do doubts hain

1 . kya aap sher ki marammat isi thread per karenge aur immediately after sher is posted ya puri ghazal complete hone ke baad..

2. Kitne sher honge is ghazal me....?

@shaad sahab. ..pls matle je saath digital behr bhi bata dijiye...sabko aasani hogi

Zidd saahab.... kahaan se laate hain aap itne creative ideas... aur mujhe maidaan me bhi utaar diyaa pataa hi na chalaa, waah ji waahhh...... :D

wese is silsile ki shuruaat aapne karii hai bahot mehrbaani aapki magar main chaahta tha ke aap hi iskaa aaghaaz karte ... par jaisaa ke huqum huaa hai, lijiye koshish karta hoon ek matlaa pesh karne ki....

PS- Agar maatlaa pasand nahi aaye to zidd saahab ko pooora haq hai ke kisi aur se bhi matle ki farmaaish kar sakte hain....


ek sawaal clear kar den bas, kyaa matlaa SDC se related honaa chahiye ya fir general sher bhii chalega.....

shukiyaa

Digital Behr pls...........................

Aadaab Zidd Bhaee!!!

Absolute GEM of an Idea! am soooo glad to see such an activity! Buhat aala khayal aur koshish!

@Shaad bhaee ---( aray kaaN gayay Miyaan... jaldee karo... chalo Bismillah karo miyaan....

Chaliye saahab ye hi sahii, sher kuch yoon hai......

Mirii AaGhaaze muhabbat ki kahaanii hai ye,
kisii gulposh haseenaa ki nishaanii hai ye.


takhti- 1122 1122 1122 22

Zidd saahab lijiye maine aapke huqum ki tameel kii hai, aap dekkh len sher muqammal huaa hai ke nahii.....

Shukriyaa...

waah waah Shoaib bhai, kya khub shuruat kii hai..
chaliye mera sher..

(interchangeable beher 1122 1122 1122 112 in 1st misra)

hai chaman unse hi roshan hai ye mehfil bhii jawaaN,
ye karishma hai ki phir unki tawaani hai ye.

bahot khoob Aadeil saahab.... haseen sher pesh kiyaa hai aapne... waahhh

SOME CLARIFICATIONS

1] sab members sher post kar sakte hai , beher ki bandish nahi hai..haa qaafiya aur radeef wahi istemaal karna hoga jo matla hai

yani is ghazal me qafiya- jawaani,rawani,pani, rani,sani, is sound ka lena hai..koi bhi qafiya ho sakta hai

radeef hai- 'hai ye'

2] we will include all shers send by the members after correcting it,( if correction is possible)

3] if the member does not like the correction he has the right to withdraw his sher from the ghazal

4] if a member has sent an unmetered sher anyone can try his hand at correcting it and putting it in meter. but care should be taken that only words are adjusted and ideas are not tinkered with.

at the end i will collect all sher and correct them if required and put a draft here. and if no objection is received another thread will be created by requesting a mod for the final ghazal.

i sincerely hope that we get a body of ghazals owned by this site.that is all of us.
i also hope we can record them at some later date or publish it.
all copyrights will be owned by the site. anyone who does not agree to this do not participate.
( mods kindly do not even edit a comma from here)

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this ghazal will end at the last day of this month.

meter of the ghazal is

x122 1122 1122 22
or
x122 1122 1122 112

x= either 2 or 1 ( both allowed in that place)

18 ) 2122 / 1122 / 1122 / 22
( ramal musamman maḳhbun maḥzuf maqt̤u

1]mera to jo bhi kadam hai vo teri rah me hai
Me2raa1 to2 jo2 bhi1 ka1 dam2 hai2 vo1 te1 ri2 rah2 me2 hai2

2]kabhi khud pe kabhi haalaat pe rona aaya
Ka1 bhi1 khud2 pe2 ka1 bhi1 haa2 laa2 t1 pe1 ro2 na2 aa2 yaa2

3] chunri sambhal gori udi chali jaaye re
Chun2 ri1 san2 bhaa2 l1 go1 ri2 uu2 di1 uu1 di2 jaa 2 ye2 re2

4] koi faryaad tere dil me dabi ho jaise
Ko2 I1 fa2r yaa2 d1 te1 re2 dil2 me1 da1 bi2 ho2 jai2 se2*

Both these 18 and 19 are interchangeable behers…
The first syllable may also start with 1 i.e
1122 / 1122 / 1122/ 112 or 22

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19) 2122 / 1122 / 1122 / 112
(ramal musamman maḳhbun maḥzuf)*

1]koi humdum na raha koi sahaara na raha
Ko2 I1 hum2 dum2 na1 ra1 ha2 ko2 I1 sa1 haa2 raa2 na1 ra1 haa2


2]humse aaya na gaya tumse bulaaya na gaya
Hum2 se1 aa2 yaa2 na1 ga1 yaa2 tum2 se1 bu1 laa2 yaa2 na1 ga1 yaa2

By zidd sahab

This one will help I guess

Zidd saab,
ek sawaal zehn meN aayaa hai... Makte ka sher kiss tarah pesh kiya jaayega? :)

bahot bahot shukriya Shoaib bhai... :)

maqta daalna possible nahi shaad bhai...

kyuki sdc lafz takkhallus nahi ho sakta...it will become non serious.

har sher ke baad shayar ka naam likh denge

jaise

Mirii AaGhaaze muhabbat ki kahaanii hai ye,
kisii gulposh haseenaa ki nishaanii hai ye......................Shaad

hai chaman unse hi roshan hai ye mehfil bhii jawaaN,
ye karishma hai ki phir unki tawaani hai ye....................aadiel

Bhaisaab, this question is not from my side, its raised by Aadeil saahab..

but shukriyaa aapka clarifications ke liye.....


Shaad....

ha haa....
maiN bhii unka reply padh ke confuse ho gayaa tha ki response kaunse sawaal pe ho rahaa hai :)

Anyway, thank you Zidd saab.. yeh baat sahi hai ki makta dalna possible nahi hai, magar mera sawaal yeh hai ki bina takhallus makta ek aisa sher hona chaahiye jo ki purii ghazal ka madaar rahe :).. shaayad aap samajh gaye ho :)

Wah wah wah !!! Kya dilchasp silsila shukru kiya hai Zidd sahab ne !! Aur wah Shaad bhai aur Aadeil bhai ne bhi kya khoob sher kahe hain !!

Chaliye, mere bhi 1 sher ghazal ki kadhaayee mein daal dijiye :) :)


roz karte ho mohabbat meiN jo marne ki ye baat
ya mohabbat hai puraanii ya jawaanii hai ye

aadiel sahab..aapa qafiya wazn me nahi hai...zara try kijiye aur ek baar...
we got ample time still.

:p

and wellcome zarra sahab

Zidd saab, mujhe toh kafiye ka wazn sahi lag rahaa hai :)
hai(1) cha(1)man(2) un(2)se(1) hi(1) ro(2)shan(2) hai(1) ye(1) meh(2)fil(2) bhii(1) ja(1)waaN(2),
ye(1) ka(1)rish(2)ma(2) hai(1) ki(1) phir(2) un(2)ki(1) ta(1)waa(2)ni(2) hai(2) ye(2).

vaise aap chaahe toh iise change kar sakte haiN, hameN koii aitraaz nahi :)

Awesome thread zidd hats off to you sir kahan kahanse ideas laate ho yaar zidd ko bhi koi moderator bana do pls, sare dimag wale moderators hain ek ye hi bach gae hain :p

Maine to sher ki second line likh bhi di posting keliye, first line beh'r me fit nahin horahi isliye abhi kaam chalu hai (and yes mai beh'r seekh rahi hun all thanks to zidd's thread :cool:)

@Zidd: haan haan mujhe pata hai sher beh'r me nahin hogi tab bhi chalega lekin mujhe beh'r me hi likhna hai :( baad me aplog uska postmortem kar dena chalega :p

bhai lafz 'tawaani' hai ya 'taawaani'...ye dekhiye pahle aap

Zidd saab,

koshish kii hai...

hai chaman unse hi roshan hai ye mehfil bhii jawaaN,
hai karishma ki adaa unki suhaani hai ye.

vaise lafz tha tawaanii, par sure nahi hooN ki tawaanii hona chaahiye ki tawaanaaii hona chaahiye iss liye misra-e-saanii thoda badla hai...

aapkee naseehat ka intezaar rahega :)

SIR BOL DIYA :mad::mad:

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same pinch...Same here. ..meri bhi second line hogayi. First baqi hai...:D

Btw bohat ziddi ho tum..aaqir zidd me aaker zidd se behr seekh hi li.....great job..;)

both of u post fast or u both will have to rethin a new qfiya if someone posts with the same qafiya before u

we cant repeat qafiya in the ghazal

or atleast declare ur qafiya here...so that others thin of something different from urs.

i guess i will take the qafiya 'puraani'
aap log bhi apne qafiye ka reservation kar lijiye

Offo yeh bhi mushkil hai kya..ohk then

Mera kaafiya paani hai....pls reserve it for me.......:)

lol..merely writing here will reserve it..mera koi role nahi isme..

bus isliye aha ki aap mehnat kar rahi hai koi sher par kuch dino se ..aur wahi qafiya koi sher me use karle yaha to aapko apna qafiya badalna hoga...


so better to inform others that u are working on that qafiya..

naaz meherbani qafiya is ghazal ke meter me nahi ayega...kuch aur soch

mai bhi ek kaccha sher yaha post kar deta hu...last me chamkayenge...
koi aur chahe to haath saaf kar sakta hai apna.:)...ulaa jalebi ki tarah bana hai...lol...yes -no-yes-no

Mai bhi ashiq ,nahi hone ka, bharam rakh lunga
Tum bhi kah dena ke afwaah puraani hai ye

kahaani, nishaani, suhaani , puraani, pani...ye sab istemaal ho gaya hai is ghazal me.

think of something apart from above..

like---raani,jaani,diwaani,bataani,...etc etc...many are there.

baat bataaani hai ye
bahta hua pani hai ye
kaisi diwaani hai ye


some exapmples...just to prompt you.

Naaz,
Nishaanii Shoaib bhai ne already apne matle meN le liyaa hai :D

socho socho...... ;) :p

bahut hee badiya silsila shuru kiya hai zidd jee.......a unique idea......sabhi members ko bhi bahut bahut shubhkaamnayein.............

bhaisaab ek chota sa sawaall hai....

diwaani ko kyaa is ghazal me shaamil kar sakte hain.... ???

mere khayaal se deewaanii ki takhtiii 222 honii chahiye.... aap kyaa kahte hain...???

122 bhi valid hai...

zindagi tujko manane nikle
hum bhi kis darja diwaane nikle.....khazalbash

:p mai bhool gai thi......Shaad kidhar hai :mad: aur koi kafiya nahin mila tha :rolleyes:

Anyway ill try :cool:

lijiye kuch examples bhii diye haiN :)
maine bhii thaanii hai yeh
teri faanii hai yeh
hamse jo jaanii hai yeh
?? machaanii
muhabbat jo nibhaanii hai yeh
sajaani
sunaanii
tere saath bitaanii hai yeh
mera hamdam-e-jaanii* hai yeh = sympathizer of beloved
dil meN jalaanii hai yeh
banaanii
sataanii
ravaanii
jaan ga.nvaanii hai yeh
bayaanii
sayaanii (siyaanii)

Maybe this will help :)