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ahmadcameron
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4th January 2019, 05:21 AM

Thanks a lot Dhaval Bhai and Sunita Ji. I am returning to a forum of this nature after over a decade. There was one such forum back in 2002-005 where I posted many of my poems and made good friends like both of you as well. But then that forum closed down all of a sudden and with it all things posted on it were blown away. Some of them I had saved, but I am certain many got lost. And the mind is unable to recreate the same poems in their totality again.

Sunita Ji after reviewing my own sher which you have appreciated in specific, I am getting second thoughts to modify it as following.

Khoon Ki Manind Rava'n Tha Mere Har Goshey Mein Vo
Zakhm Kab Ka Bhar Chuka, Phir Dard Kyun Tham_ta Na Tha


Using the word "Tham_ta" instead of "Ghat_ta" conveys the intensity, depth, and sufferings being a continuous process. Whereas use of the word "Ghat_ta" in my opinion does reflect the intermittent occurrence of "Pain and Grief". But it has never stopped for even an instance to make the one experiencing to become oblivious of the pain and grief momentarily.

Would love to hear your opinions on it.
   
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