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Praneeta
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Love 1st November 2011, 01:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by shweta View Post
Hi All,
M here again.. .. with some poetry (but obvious).
Before posting that... I wanna thanks to few people.. hmm and first thanks goes to "Zidd sahab" .. as without him I couldn't have learn all this meter.. Zidd sahab waisey aap se humaari baat to kabhi ni hui.. magar suna kaafi kuch hai aapkey baare me.. aur agar aapne ye kala "Vikas" ko ni sikhayi hoti to shayad mujhey kabhi ni aati..And thank you vikas for pin pointing my all small error ( with big scolds )

Zidd sahab!!! I wanna dedicate this ghazal to you as you have helped vikas to learn meter and he taught me all and my teacher asked me to dedicate my first metered ghazal to his teacher..

All sdc members ..plz let me know my mistakes



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ye dil teri hi chaukhat pe..bahlta hai samhalta hai..
zara sa door le jate hi dam iska nikaltaa hai

main dun koi khilauna ya ki isko chaand le aaun..
badal tera maiN du kuch bhi ... ye fir bhi kam bahalta hai

na mandir hai..na hi masjid.. na hi iska shivalaa hai..
hua kaafir ye dil meraa..tere dar pe tahaltaa hai..

main karti hu ataa tujhko.. ye dil abse huee tera...
ki rah kar paas bhi mere ..teri khatir machalta hai..

tumhari ho chuki thi jab bhala hoti maiN kya kiski
kiyaa barbaad tumne yuN zamana hatah maltaa hai

kisi se maiN miluN aur tum saraho aur ko kuch din
muhabbat hai "sukhan" isme chalo itna to chaltaa hai


__________



ये दिल तेरी ही चौखट पे ..बहलता है संभलता है ..
ज़रा सा दूर ले जाते ही दम इसका निकलता है

में दूँ कोई खिलौना या की इसको चाँद ले आऊं ..
बदल तेरा में दूँ कुछ भी ... ये फिर भी कम बहलता है

न मंदिर है न ही मस्जिद ..न ही इसका शिवाला है
हुआ काफ़िर ये दिल मेरा .... तेरे दर पे टहलता है

में करती हूँ अता तुझको .. ये दिल अबसे हुआ तेरा ...
की रह कर पास भी मेरे ..तेरी खातिर मचलता है ..

तुम्हारी हो चुकी थी जब भला क्या गैर की होती
किया बर्बाद तुमने यूँ ज़माना हाथ मलता है

किसी से मैं मिलूं और तुम सराहो और को कुछ दिन
मुहब्बत है "सुखन " इसमें चलो इतना तो चलता है

bahot khub shweta ji
bahot achchi peshkash hai aapki
ab jab zidd sahab aur vikas ne aap ko guide kiya hai toh zarur aisi hi ghazal banni thi!! zidd sahab hum bhi aap ke guidance mein likhna sikhna chahte hai agar aap ko aetraaz na ho toh
keep sharing dear

Regards


_______________________________________________
PRANEETA

Kaash k khamoshi bhi ek zabaaN hoti
Main dekta rehta unhe aur haal-e-dil bayaaN hota
Ananthpak
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