|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: delhi
Rep Power: 31
|
koyee umr mitane aya hai, koyee umr bitane aya hai -
5th February 2006, 12:05 PM
Ek Koshish aur
nakam muhabbat ka, dastoor nibhane aya hai
tera ansoo tara ban ke, rah dikhane aya hai
khud ro ro ke aise too, mujhe rulane aya hai
aag lagane aya hai ,ki aag bujhane aya hai
ishq me mit ke mujhe, manzil mil gayee jaise
too bhola manzil se phir, rah pe lane aya hai
syahee ban nayee kahanee, phir se ye likh dalenge
too ankhon ke panee se, likha mitane aya hai?
chhar pahar tak hathon se, tere ansoo ponche hain
kaun manega mere ghar, too mujhe hansane aya hai
mujh tak aane se pahale, ye do baten samjha de
mujhe bulane aya hai ya, mujhe bhulane aya hai
meree raah pe aaj woh apne, sare ansoo ro dega
garm zamee par ankhon se, phool bichane aya hai
main kal tak tera tha, aaj bhee bas tera hoon
duniya se chip chip ke ab, too kya pane aya hai
sar utha kee cheena, jisne kal mujh se tujh ko
sar jhuka ke aaj wo mujh se, tujhko pane aya hai
too mera sab kuch hai, aur main tere koyee naheen
kya uljhan hai is rishte main, kya suljhane aya hai
tere ghar main bhee hoon aaj, aur woh bhee aya hai
koyee umr mitane aya hai, koyee umr bitane aya hai
Anil aap ka dar khatkhate huye
khul jayega meree shayree ke liye?
|
|
|
|
|
ek shoonya
Offline
Posts: 1,748
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: दिल्ली व देहरादून
Rep Power: 30
|
5th February 2006, 01:24 PM
Kammaal ka likha hai aapne.....
nakam muhabbat ka, dastoor nibhane aya hai
tera ansoo tara ban ke, rah dikhane aya hai
Vipin
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 1,474
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: singapore
Rep Power: 21
|
5th February 2006, 01:27 PM
anil ji
bhaut sunder bhaut hi sunder
sar utha kee cheena, jisne kal mujh se tujh ko
sar jhuka ke aaj wo mujh se, tujhko pane aya hai
nice
keep writing
shrdh
|
|
|
|
|
pass love on and on...
Offline
Posts: 1,183
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Kolkata,India
Rep Power: 26
|
Re: koyee umr mitane aya hai, koyee umr bitane aya hai -
5th February 2006, 02:07 PM
kya baat hai........ek ek line jaise dil ko chu laeti hai
maza aagaya padkar.............hidhay chali kar diya aapne to aaj
i am really getting short of words to describe how mush i like it.
keep sharing such kind of shayris.
chand ho pari ho ya koi afshara
pyar kare jo hume sone sa khara
jiski ankhon me ho pyar hi pyar bhara
me uska "veer" wo meri "zarra"
-------------------Brizesh_kol_-------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: delhi
Rep Power: 31
|
thanks -
5th February 2006, 02:07 PM
thanks vipin aur shradhha achha laga aap logon pe paraha aur bataya kaisa likha apnee shayree pe remarks apnee shayree se bhee zyada pyare lagte hain
thanks again
Anil
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: delhi
Rep Power: 31
|
tumhe pahalee baar parha maine -
5th February 2006, 02:11 PM
meree shayree main tum ko pahlee baar parha maien bahut achha laga aur tumheree id kee tasweer main gahara pyar nazar aya nam aur tasweer dono pyare hain passionatelover
Anil
|
|
|
|
|
pass love on and on...
Offline
Posts: 1,183
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Kolkata,India
Rep Power: 26
|
Re: tumhe pahalee baar parha maine -
5th February 2006, 02:16 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by masoomshayer
meree shayree main tum ko pahlee baar parha maien bahut achha laga aur tumheree id kee tasweer main gahara pyar nazar aya nam aur tasweer dono pyare hain passionatelover
Anil
|
anil bhaiya ladhka to me hu par ladki ka pata nahi......hahaha
chand ho pari ho ya koi afshara
pyar kare jo hume sone sa khara
jiski ankhon me ho pyar hi pyar bhara
me uska "veer" wo meri "zarra"
-------------------Brizesh_kol_-------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
|
Humanity
Offline
Posts: 6,227
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 42
|
5th February 2006, 02:58 PM
nakam muhabbat ka, dastoor nibhane aya hai
tera ansoo tara ban ke, rah dikhane aya hai
khud ro ro ke aise too, mujhe rulane aya hai
aag lagane aya hai ,ki aag bujhane aya hai
tera aansoo tara anke... waaaaaahhh...ky keh diya hai...!
ishq me mit ke mujhe, manzil mil gayee jaise
too bhola manzil se phir, rah pe lane aya hai
syahee ban nayee kahanee, phir se ye likh dalenge
too ankhon ke panee se, likha mitane aya hai?
Last share was fab... too good...!
chhar pahar tak hathon se, tere ansoo ponche hain
kaun manega mere ghar, too mujhe hansane aya hai
mujh tak aane se pahale, ye do baten samjha de
mujhe bulane aya hai ya, mujhe bhulane aya hai
Beautiful expression...!
meree raah pe aaj woh apne, sare ansoo ro dega
garm zamee par ankhon se, phool bichane aya hai
main kal tak tera tha, aaj bhee bas tera hoon
duniya se chip chip ke ab, too kya pane aya hai
Welll said...!
sar utha kee cheena, jisne kal mujh se tujh ko
sar jhuka ke aaj wo mujh se, tujhko pane aya hai
too mera sab kuch hai, aur main tere koyee naheen
kya uljhan hai is rishte main, kya suljhane aya hai
Nice one...!
tere ghar main bhee hoon aaj, aur woh bhee aya hai
koyee umr mitane aya hai, koyee umr bitane aya hai
wellll said...loved these lines 2...!
Anil aap ka dar khatkhate huye
khul jayega meree shayree ke liye?
??? Yeh isi poem ka part thha?
Hi Anil,
Bahut hi khoobsurat aur asardaar ghazal pesh kii ahi aapne... Kucch sherto bass dil me utarte chale gaye... Meri daad kubool kijiyega... Likhte rahiye yun hi... Apna khyal rakhiye...TC
Woh last do lines ka is poem se relation nahi samjh aaya mujhe?
Kab sochaa thha milegaa humsafar "Shweta" jaisaa
Lagta hai is baar "Pulkit", kismat teri bhi rang laayii hai
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: delhi
Rep Power: 31
|
thanks -
5th February 2006, 03:08 PM
pulkit shukriya bahut gahare dil se parh ke tum ne jawab diya hai samjha hai sahmjaya hai janata hoon poora waqt diya tum ne meree is ghazal ko. aur main dil se chahta tha tum parho is ko aur haan last lines bas mere request thee ke meree shauyree un logon ka darwaza khatakhta rahee hai jinhone abhee tak parha nahee aur kuch nahee it was not part of my shayree
Anil
|
|
|
|
|
Paagal Pathik
Offline
Posts: 1,997
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: In the heart of universe
Rep Power: 26
|
5th February 2006, 04:02 PM
too good.. bahoot achha likha hai aapne
Anant se bhi aage... itni si khwahish hai :)
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,269
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: New Delhi.(India)
Rep Power: 37
|
Re: koyee umr mitane aya hai, koyee umr bitane aya hai -
5th February 2006, 05:24 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by masoomshayer
Ek Koshish aur
nakam muhabbat ka, dastoor nibhane aya hai
tera ansoo tara ban ke, rah dikhane aya hai
khud ro ro ke aise too, mujhe rulane aya hai
aag lagane aya hai ,ki aag bujhane aya hai
ishq me mit ke mujhe, manzil mil gayee jaise
too bhola manzil se phir, rah pe lane aya hai
syahee ban nayee kahanee, phir se ye likh dalenge
too ankhon ke panee se, likha mitane aya hai?
chhar pahar tak hathon se, tere ansoo ponche hain
kaun manega mere ghar, too mujhe hansane aya hai
mujh tak aane se pahale, ye do baten samjha de
mujhe bulane aya hai ya, mujhe bhulane aya hai
meree raah pe aaj woh apne, sare ansoo ro dega
garm zamee par ankhon se, phool bichane aya hai
main kal tak tera tha, aaj bhee bas tera hoon
duniya se chip chip ke ab, too kya pane aya hai
sar utha kee cheena, jisne kal mujh se tujh ko
sar jhuka ke aaj wo mujh se, tujhko pane aya hai
too mera sab kuch hai, aur main tere koyee naheen
kya uljhan hai is rishte main, kya suljhane aya hai
tere ghar main bhee hoon aaj, aur woh bhee aya hai
koyee umr mitane aya hai, koyee umr bitane aya hai
Anil aap ka dar khatkhate huye
khul jayega meree shayree ke liye?
|
Anil ji aap to cha gaye
yu hin mehfil sajaate rahiye
SHWETA
jab yaad karte hai kisi ko
wo waqt suhana hota hai
uth jati hai kalam likhne ko
wo pyar deewana hota hai
kar deti hai haal-e-dil bayaan
wo kalaam shayraana hota hai
jab yaad karte hai kisi ko
wo waqt suhana hota hai...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
duniya mein kitna gam hai
apna gam phir bhi kam hai
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: delhi
Rep Power: 31
|
shuriya -
5th February 2006, 05:32 PM
garima achha laga tum ne parha meree rachana adee se anant tak pahunch gayee agar sach main laga main cha gaya kuhulika main bahut khush hoon thanks again
Anil
|
|
|
|
|
raj
Offline
Posts: 2,332
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: dil mein khud ke..aisa nahi kisi ko mera pata nahi hai mujhe dhundhne ki had tak koi dhundhta nahi hai..un
Rep Power: 34
|
Re: koyee umr mitane aya hai, koyee umr bitane aya hai -
5th February 2006, 06:32 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by masoomshayer
nakam muhabbat ka, dastoor nibhane aya hai
tera ansoo tara ban ke, rah dikhane aya hai
khud ro ro ke aise too, mujhe rulane aya hai
aag lagane aya hai ,ki aag bujhane aya hai
ishq me mit ke mujhe, manzil mil gayee jaise
too bhola manzil se phir, rah pe lane aya hai
syahee ban nayee kahanee, phir se ye likh dalenge
too ankhon ke panee se, likha mitane aya hai?
chhar pahar tak hathon se, tere ansoo ponche hain
kaun manega mere ghar, too mujhe hansane aya hai
mujh tak aane se pahale, ye do baten samjha de
mujhe bulane aya hai ya, mujhe bhulane aya hai
meree raah pe aaj woh apne, sare ansoo ro dega
garm zamee par ankhon se, phool bichane aya hai
main kal tak tera tha, aaj bhee bas tera hoon
duniya se chip chip ke ab, too kya pane aya hai
sar utha kee cheena, jisne kal mujh se tujh ko
sar jhuka ke aaj wo mujh se, tujhko pane aya hai
too mera sab kuch hai, aur main tere koyee naheen
kya uljhan hai is rishte main, kya suljhane aya hai
tere ghar main bhee hoon aaj, aur woh bhee aya hai
koyee umr mitane aya hai, koyee umr bitane aya hai
|
anil ji
aapko aaj 1st baar pada .acha laga apka likha.
aapke lafz bahut hi asar daar hai sachhi.
lagta hai ki koi sachhaai bayaan kar raha hai apni hi.
aage bhi yuhi aapko padne ka mauka milta rahe bas.
sakhi
कुछ ऐसे पल जिनको संजोना है ,
शब्दों में पिरोना है , जिससे वो हमारी यादों में महकते रहे
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: delhi
Rep Power: 31
|
sakhi -
5th February 2006, 08:40 PM
thanks aur wada hai jo khoonga dil se kahoonga achha bura ho sakta hai par baat dil kee hogee seedhe dil se
Anil
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 246
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: NEW DELHI
Rep Power: 0
|
Re: koyee umr mitane aya hai, koyee umr bitane aya hai -
5th February 2006, 09:47 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by masoomshayer
Ek Koshish aur
nakam muhabbat ka, dastoor nibhane aya hai
tera ansoo tara ban ke, rah dikhane aya hai
khud ro ro ke aise too, mujhe rulane aya hai
aag lagane aya hai ,ki aag bujhane aya hai
ishq me mit ke mujhe, manzil mil gayee jaise
too bhola manzil se phir, rah pe lane aya hai
syahee ban nayee kahanee, phir se ye likh dalenge
too ankhon ke panee se, likha mitane aya hai?
chhar pahar tak hathon se, tere ansoo ponche hain
kaun manega mere ghar, too mujhe hansane aya hai
mujh tak aane se pahale, ye do baten samjha de
mujhe bulane aya hai ya, mujhe bhulane aya hai
meree raah pe aaj woh apne, sare ansoo ro dega
garm zamee par ankhon se, phool bichane aya hai
main kal tak tera tha, aaj bhee bas tera hoon
duniya se chip chip ke ab, too kya pane aya hai
sar utha kee cheena, jisne kal mujh se tujh ko
sar jhuka ke aaj wo mujh se, tujhko pane aya hai
too mera sab kuch hai, aur main tere koyee naheen
kya uljhan hai is rishte main, kya suljhane aya hai
tere ghar main bhee hoon aaj, aur woh bhee aya hai
koyee umr mitane aya hai, koyee umr bitane aya hai
Anil aap ka dar khatkhate huye
khul jayega meree shayree ke liye?
|
adaab janaab,,,
bahut khoob.......ab to alfaazon ko dhoondna hoga jo aapke in umda khayaalon ke layak ho,,,ek baar phir se hamari daad kabool kijiye is umda zehn e peshki ke liye,,, janaab hamari dua aapke saath hai ki issi khoobsurti se aap yuhi likhte rahiye aur hamare beech aate rahiye... apna khayaal rakhiyega...
saakib...
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: delhi
Rep Power: 31
|
mere dost -
5th February 2006, 09:53 PM
saakib mujhe likh ke achha laga tha. is liye chahta tha tum batayo tum ko parh ke bhee achha laga ke naheen. bahut achha laga ki tumhe achee lagee
Anil
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 140
Join Date: Dec 2005
Rep Power: 19
|
7th February 2006, 02:11 AM
Anil ji,
This one is beautiful of yours. like each and every words of this creation. iss khubsurat kalam pe meri daad kubul kare, aur yun hi likhte rahiye. take care!
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: delhi
Rep Power: 31
|
devangi ka shukriya -
7th February 2006, 08:11 AM
bahut achha lagata hai tumhha meree shayree ko parhana samjhana bas yoon hee mere ko babatee rhana agara achha lage
Anil
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 233
Join Date: Nov 2005
Rep Power: 20
|
7th February 2006, 11:27 AM
Anil Ji Mujhe Aapki Ye Poem Kitni Achi Laggi Ki Bata BHi Nahi Sakti
really Ye Lines Tuh dil Ko Chu Gai
syahee ban nayee kahanee, phir se ye likh dalenge
too ankhon ke panee se, likha mitane aya hai?
chhar pahar tak hathon se, tere ansoo ponche hain
kaun manega mere ghar, too mujhe hansane aya hai
sar utha kee cheena, jisne kal mujh se tujh ko
sar jhuka ke aaj wo mujh se, tujhko pane aya hai
Really Superb.....yunhi likhte rahiyega......
Nahi Yaad Mujhko Yun Ton Vo Kya Tha Mera
Sayad Meri Bhool Ko Vo Phir Dohrane Aaya Hai
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: delhi
Rep Power: 31
|
thanks -
7th February 2006, 10:30 PM
tum ne jo meree tareef kee mujhe bahut khushee milee us se ba mujeh parhte rahana taqat milegee e mujhe
Anil
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 4,715
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Khariar, Odisha
Rep Power: 0
|
7th February 2006, 10:56 PM
nakam muhabbat ka, dastoor nibhane aya hai
tera ansoo tara ban ke, rah dikhane aya hai
khud ro ro ke aise too, mujhe rulane aya hai
aag lagane aya hai ,ki aag bujhane aya hai
Anil saahab...
Bahoot khoob likha hai aap ne.. YuN to har sher achchhe haiN par ye 2 sher bahoot achchhe lage.. Likhte Rahiye.. YuN hi...
Meri kaamyaabi ka sitaara ab tum ho..
Meri Gham ki nadiyaan ka kinaara tum ho..
Tumhaare bina besahaara hai MayanK
Meri Jaaan mera to sahaara tum ho..
MayanK
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: delhi
Rep Power: 31
|
shukriya -
8th February 2006, 07:37 AM
mayank parhte rahana mujhe main koshish karoonag sab achh hee likhoon
Anil
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,814
Join Date: Nov 2003
Rep Power: 27
|
8th February 2006, 10:04 AM
Anil jee...
khuub likha hai aapne!
nakam muhabbat ka, dastoor nibhane aya hai
tera ansoo tara ban ke, rah dikhane aya hai
yoonhi koshish karte rahiye...mehfil sajaae rahiye
nayi ruton mein wo kuchh aur qareeb aaye
gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho
mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai
rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho
--Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: delhi
Rep Power: 31
|
paras -
8th February 2006, 01:00 PM
paras ne chuya to meree gahzal sona ho gayee yoon hee choote rahana meree shayree ko tum
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 763
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Faridabad, Haryana, India
Rep Power: 19
|
10th March 2006, 05:13 PM
anil hai
bahut khub likha hai
maja aa gaya padhke
maine do baar padha hai isse
bahut accha laga
aise hi likhte rahiye
aapka apna
Cute Sa Ashu
Yun Mile Ke Mulakaat Na Ho Saki,
Honth Kaape Magar Koi Baat Na Ho Saki,
Meri Khamosh Nigahen Har Baat Keh Gayi,
Aur Unko Shikayat Hai Ki Baat Na Ho Saki.... (nm)
*(`'·.¸(`'·.¸*¤*¸.·'´)¸.·'´)*
.....«´¨`·..ASHU...·´¨`»......
*(¸.·'´(¸.·'´*¤*`'·.¸)`'·.¸)*
------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: delhi
Rep Power: 31
|
shukriya ashu -
10th March 2006, 07:37 PM
do baar meree shayree ko parhne ke liye bahut bahut shukriya achha laga tum aye is bar bhee meree ek kuch din pahale kahe ehuyee rachana g uthee phir se
Anil
mere ashar ko mahoob samjh ke chhoomte the jo
kho gaye hain woh log ab un kee justzoo hai
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 544
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 21
|
19th March 2006, 11:23 PM
ANIL JI
yeh kya kar diya aapne anil ji.......ek ek line ka dard apne undar tak mehsus kiya .....iski ek ek line ne jaise mujhe hila ke rakh diya.............anil ji nazm jab dil ko chhoo jati hai , ya rula deti hai toh woh khuda ki ebadat ki treah khud ko mehsus hoti hai........aapki is nazm ne aaj yahi kiya.............aapki is nazm ne meri aatma ko chhoo liya..........
bahut sundar .......iski tareef ke liye shbad nahi mere pass.........
with best wishes
ranju
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: delhi
Rep Power: 31
|
shukriya -
20th March 2006, 11:16 AM
jab koyee shayree ek dard ko apna dard mahsoos kare to shayer ko bahut khushee hotee hai meree shayree ko zinda kiya hai aap ke alfaz ne thanks for comming aur itna gahara parhne ke liye
Anil
mere ashar ko mahoob samjh ke chhoomte the jo
kho gaye hain woh log ab un kee justzoo hai
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 30
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: UK
Rep Power: 0
|
22nd March 2006, 01:04 AM
... Nawazish, karam, shukaria, merharaabaani... ajeeb sher pesh kiya hai apnay, khoob dill kaa dard alfazoun key zariye kagaz per uthar diyaa...
Yan tu phir dard-shanaasaa ho yan phir bohat achay musaanif ho...
itnaa he kahoun ge... junoon say lickthay ho yan phir jazbah say, josh mein lickthay ho yan phir shafakat say... jesse bhi lickthay ho lickthay zaroor rehanaa...
Ijazat...
Always Anjli
Rahoun main bhatak rahee thi,
do char qadam per manzil thee,
taudi dair ho gayee...
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 10
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Connecticut, USA
Rep Power: 0
|
22nd March 2006, 04:41 AM
bahut hi sundar...my first post to your sher...but I really liked it...
daad kabool keejiyega...
~sunny
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: delhi
Rep Power: 31
|
bahut achha laga -
22nd March 2006, 10:29 AM
tumhara meree is ghazal ko parhana to achha laga hee itne pyre alfas main us kee tareef karana aur achha laga shukrguzar hain mere ashar
Anil
mere ashar ko mahoob samjh ke chhoomte the jo
kho gaye hain woh log ab un kee justzoo hai
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: delhi
Rep Power: 31
|
anil aur sunil -
22nd March 2006, 10:31 AM
anil kee post par sunil aya achha laga
aur zyada achha laga ki tume mera likha achha laga shukriya phir se
Anil
mere ashar ko mahoob samjh ke chhoomte the jo
kho gaye hain woh log ab un kee justzoo hai
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
|
|