Shayri.com  

Go Back   Shayri.com > English/Hindi/Other Languages Poetry > English Poetry

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Saki (an english ghazal )
Old
  (#1)
jainrohit
Registered User
jainrohit will become famous soon enough
 
Offline
Posts: 11
Join Date: Mar 2013
Rep Power: 0
Saki (an english ghazal ) - 19th March 2013, 07:49 PM

pesh-e-khidmat he ek english ghazal


radeef - saaki
kaafiya - ee


Like a homeless Bird searching for a tree , saaki
To quench my sorrows i have come to thee , saaki


Which one is more scarlet ? Your lips or this red wine
dark past ! red has been color of my glee , saaki


Adrift i was , extended pause , mundane was life
Now embrace me like wind does to the sea , saaki


Your glances make my heart dance till it gets tired
Pardon my tender heart , accept its plea , saaki


Fortune never favored me , i have been tormented
my hopes are on you , please no treachery , saaki


Let your golden locks dangle on your full moon face
let them dance , with your fragrance , set them free , saaki


"rohit " is mad , he wanted to write something else ;
Your beauty makes many ghalibs awry , saaki .....
(RoHiT)


Written in simple syllabic count meter , with internal rhymes , but maintains the takhallus , kafiya and radeef as the classical ghazal .

Slant rhymes are used in english poetry and are permissible , so are used here.

While changing language there has to be certain change in format of poetry to suit that language's unique features
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#2)
zainy
Aapki dost
zainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
zainy's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 7,301
Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 53
19th March 2013, 08:20 PM

Sab se pehle to Shayri.com per aapka haardik swagat hai Rohit ji........

Its our pleasure to have you here...

Hope you will have a nice time here..

Aapki ghazal/poem..lajawaab hai....

Something diffferent, interesting...and truely beautiful.....




Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

Nm
  Send a message via MSN to zainy  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#3)
Ahmad Hyderabadi
Registered Member
Ahmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant future
 
Offline
Posts: 933
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Hyderabad (Deccan)
Rep Power: 27
22nd March 2013, 09:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by jainrohit View Post
pesh-e-khidmat he ek english ghazal


radeef - saaki
kaafiya - ee


Like a homeless Bird searching for a tree , saaki
To quench my sorrows i have come to thee , saaki


Which one is more scarlet ? Your lips or this red wine
dark past ! red has been color of my glee , saaki


Adrift i was , extended pause , mundane was life
Now embrace me like wind does to the sea , saaki


Your glances make my heart dance till it gets tired
Pardon my tender heart , accept its plea , saaki


Fortune never favored me , i have been tormented
my hopes are on you , please no treachery , saaki


Let your golden locks dangle on your full moon face
let them dance , with your fragrance , set them free , saaki


"rohit " is mad , he wanted to write something else ;
Your beauty makes many ghalibs awry , saaki .....
(RoHiT)


Written in simple syllabic count meter , with internal rhymes , but maintains the takhallus , kafiya and radeef as the classical ghazal .

Slant rhymes are used in english poetry and are permissible , so are used here.

While changing language there has to be certain change in format of poetry to suit that language's unique features

Aadaab Rohit Jee! Khushaamdeed!

Wow! After a very long time some excitement, some life , something new and different, a breath of fresh air!

As far as I remember this is the first time I've come across an English Ghazal. But it'll be hard to top this one for whenever I'd come across the next one. Congratulations on completion of such a crafty piece of work! And last but not the least..... Thank You for sharing with us such a fine piece of art and thoroughly enjoyable piece of poetry!

Waiting for your next present.....


Duagoh

Ahmad
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#4)
Hamdam
Member
Hamdam has much to be proud ofHamdam has much to be proud ofHamdam has much to be proud ofHamdam has much to be proud ofHamdam has much to be proud ofHamdam has much to be proud ofHamdam has much to be proud ofHamdam has much to be proud ofHamdam has much to be proud ofHamdam has much to be proud of
 
Hamdam's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 1,477
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Delhi .. ovalswitches@gmail.com
Rep Power: 22
25th March 2013, 03:07 PM

Dear Mr Rohit,
Vow what a great piece of work. an english ghazal penned
by you had a very good flow of thoughts coupled with good
words and soaked in rhyme and rythem.

Kudoes and bravo my dear friend.

Sanjay sehgal



khone Pane ki daur mein yun uljha hai har bashar ,
Isee kashmeqash mein kat raha Zindagee ka safar.
   
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
couplets, english ghazal, ghazal

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com