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my first ghazal on shayri.com
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'Saahil'
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my first ghazal on shayri.com - 2nd August 2009, 10:41 PM

dosto mehfil mai naya hoon...........apni pehli ghazal yahan pesh kar raha hoon.....I hope you'll like it.

behar ka naam to maloom nahi lekin rhythm shaayad ye hai 2122 2121 212
apne 'comments' aur 'suggestions' se nawaaziyega


ye likhi hai baat kis kitaab maiN
aapko rehna hai bas naqaab maiN

hosh mai bas wo ke jis ko tu mila
sab bhatakte haiN yahaN saraab maiN

soch ko milta nahi kabhi sukooN
haiN kai sawaal har jawaab maiN

kar diya kaantoN ne jab lahoo se laal
husn aur badh gaya gulaab maiN

so sake phir ham kabhii na umr bhar
kar gaye vaada-e-vasl khaab maiN


(idea for the above sher is taken from Ghalib's sher

taafir na intizaar main neend aaye umr bhar
aane ka ahad kar gaye aaye jo khaab main'
)

yaad apna ishq rakhe ye jahan
doob jaate hain chalo chanaab maiN

ho hi jaata hai yahan deedar-e-yaar
bas yahi hai baat achhi khaab maiN


kashtiyaN 'saahil' tujhe hain dhoondti
aur tu dooba hai khud sailaab main


.........Saahil
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naresh_mehra110
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3rd August 2009, 07:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 'Saahil' View Post
dosto mehfil mai naya hoon...........apni pehli ghazal yahan pesh kar raha hoon.....I hope you'll like it.

behar ka naam to maloom nahi lekin rhythm shaayad ye hai 2122 2121 212
apne 'comments' aur 'suggestions' se nawaaziyega


ye likhi hai baat kis kitaab maiN
aapko rehna hai bas naqaab maiN

hosh mai bas wo ke jis ko tu mila
sab bhatakte haiN yahaN saraab maiN

soch ko milta nahi kabhi sukooN
haiN kai sawaal har jawaab maiN

kar diya kaantoN ne jab lahoo se laal
husn aur badh gaya gulaab maiN

so sake phir ham kabhii na umr bhar
kar gaye vaada-e-vasl khaab maiN


(idea for the above sher is taken from Ghalib's sher

taafir na intizaar main neend aaye umr bhar
aane ka ahad kar gaye aaye jo khaab main'
)

yaad apna ishq rakhe ye jahan
doob jaate hain chalo chanaab maiN

ho hi jaata hai yahan deedar-e-yaar
bas yahi hai baat achhi khaab maiN


kashtiyaN 'saahil' tujhe hain dhoondti
aur tu dooba hai khud sailaab main


.........Saahil
Saahil ji...sdc mai aapka welcome hai...aapki likhi sabhi panktiya mujhe bahut pasand aai......aapki koshsih bahut umda hai...aise hi likhte rahiye...khush rahiye....




YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN
Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ...

Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh
Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ...


---Naresh Mehra----
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'Saahil'
mai shayar badnaam.......
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3rd August 2009, 09:53 AM

Naresh ji aapki daad ke liye bahut bahut shukriya.

keep reading and encouraging.


Sandeep 'Saahil'

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Diya_Jale
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3rd August 2009, 10:32 AM

Saahil jee,
mahfil meiN aapka Swagat hai ........
aapne kaha hai ki yeh aapki pahli Ghazal hai .........mere khayal se gar yeh pahli Ghazal hai aapki to insha allah aap aage jakar aur bhi achhi ghazal kahenge..............

mahfil mein aate rahiye
apne ehesaas ko youN bayaan karte rahiye

DuaoN ke saath
aapki Dost
Diya



Mohabbat ke baad mohabbat mumkin hai faraz.
Magar toot ke chahna sirf ek baar hota hai


Goodbye SDC

Diya
   
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Mayank
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3rd August 2009, 10:43 AM

saahil saahab,

yahaa.n sdc par aap ka swaagat hai.. aap ne takhallus hi itna pyaara chuna hai kii kyaa kahe.n............. dekhate hi saahir ludiyanvi ki yaad aati hai... par yeh takhallus chun kar,aap ne thoDa sa apne liye mushkil khada kar liya hai.. kyun ki ab aap ko behtar hi likhan paDega.. aur aap ki yeh koshish dekh kar lagaa ki, aap kaafi behtar likh sakte hai.n.. ek achchhi koshish ke liye meri aur se daad qubool keejiye..

soch ko milta nahi kabhi sukooN
haiN kai sawaal har jawaab maiN

ho hi jaata hai yahan deedar-e-yaar
bas yahi hai baat achhi khaab maiN

kashtiyaN 'saahil' tujhe hain dhoondti
aur tu dooba hai khud sailaab main

bohat achchhe! likhte rahe.n

-mayank

reps + + +






buraa jo dekhan mai.n Chalaa, buraa naa milyaa koye
jo mann Khojaa apnaa to mujh se buraa naa koye


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'Saahil'
mai shayar badnaam.......
'Saahil' is just really nice'Saahil' is just really nice'Saahil' is just really nice'Saahil' is just really nice
 
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4th August 2009, 05:27 AM

Mayank ji

aapko sher pasand aaye, iski khushi hui. daad ke liye shukriya!

Naam to 'Saahir' ji se milta hai lekin kaam milne mai sadiyan lagengi. Waise ye keh kar aapne sucmuch dara diya. Ab to kaafi hard work karna padega.

aap jaise hausla badane wale milte rahen to aasani rahegi.

shukriya


Sandeep 'Saahil'

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'Saahil'
mai shayar badnaam.......
'Saahil' is just really nice'Saahil' is just really nice'Saahil' is just really nice'Saahil' is just really nice
 
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4th August 2009, 05:31 AM

Diya ji

jitna khoobsurat naam hai utne hi khoobsurat comments padh kar achha laga. daad ke liye bahut bahut shukriya.

waise mere kehne ka matalab tha ke ye SDC maii meri pehli ghazal hai. Ye wali latest hai.....jald aur bhi post karoonga.......yun hi comments aur suggestions dete rahiye.


shukriya


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kwahish
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6th August 2009, 05:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 'Saahil' View Post
dosto mehfil mai naya hoon...........apni pehli ghazal yahan pesh kar raha hoon.....I hope you'll like it.

behar ka naam to maloom nahi lekin rhythm shaayad ye hai 2122 2121 212
apne 'comments' aur 'suggestions' se nawaaziyega


ye likhi hai baat kis kitaab maiN
aapko rehna hai bas naqaab maiN

hosh mai bas wo ke jis ko tu mila
sab bhatakte haiN yahaN saraab maiN

soch ko milta nahi kabhi sukooN
haiN kai sawaal har jawaab maiN

kar diya kaantoN ne jab lahoo se laal
husn aur badh gaya gulaab maiN

so sake phir ham kabhii na umr bhar
kar gaye vaada-e-vasl khaab maiN


(idea for the above sher is taken from Ghalib's sher

taafir na intizaar main neend aaye umr bhar
aane ka ahad kar gaye aaye jo khaab main'
)

yaad apna ishq rakhe ye jahan
doob jaate hain chalo chanaab maiN

ho hi jaata hai yahan deedar-e-yaar
bas yahi hai baat achhi khaab maiN


kashtiyaN 'saahil' tujhe hain dhoondti
aur tu dooba hai khud sailaab main


.........Saahil
saahil sahab aadaaB...........

Aapka SDC per swagat hai ............ aapki paheli peshkash behad khoob lagii.......
sabhi sher bahut achche lage......... puri Gazal hi umda hai....

Highlighted sher behad khoob lage...

Likhate rahiye aur hume ruberu hone ka moukha dete rahiye..

Khush rahiye..
Khuda Hafez...


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Mujeeb
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6th August 2009, 07:11 PM

bahut umdaa !


acha laga appko peRh ker ... meHfil meN aaya kijiye ... chiraagh to yahaN haiN hi , chaar chaand ki zaroorat hai


Mujeeb
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'Saahil'
mai shayar badnaam.......
'Saahil' is just really nice'Saahil' is just really nice'Saahil' is just really nice'Saahil' is just really nice
 
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7th August 2009, 06:11 AM

Khawahish Ji

daad ka bahut shukriya...........

cheers!


Sandeep 'Saahil'

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'Saahil'
mai shayar badnaam.......
'Saahil' is just really nice'Saahil' is just really nice'Saahil' is just really nice'Saahil' is just really nice
 
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7th August 2009, 06:14 AM

Mujeeb ji,

daad ka shukriya. Aapke signature ka sher bahut pasand aaya. ho sake to poorii ghazal yahan post karigyega

shukriya


Sandeep 'Saahil'

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