कहाँ चले तेरे कदम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

[m.mayoos]

कहाँ चले तेरे कदम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ
हर इक मोड़ पे है गम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

थे जब उलफत के चिराग, थी रोशन राह-ए-हयात
अब तो हर सू है भरम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

फिर न कहना तू मुझे, हंसकर दूं रुखसत तुझे
क्यों तेरी आँख भी है नम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

रहेगी न वो दीवानगी, और न मेरी बेबसी
रहे न गर तेरे सितम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

जाएगी थम बाद-ए-चमन, उजड़ जाएगा हर गुलशन
सूख अब जाएगी शबनम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

तेरा ख्याल शाम-ओ-सहर, हर सुखन तेरी नज़र
रुक न जाए ये कलम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ


kahaan chale tere kadam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao
har ik mod pe hai gam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao

the jab ulfat ke chiraagh, thee roshan raah-e-hayaat
ab to har soo hai bharam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao

fir na kehna tu mujhe, hanskar doon rukhsat tujhe
kyon teree aank bhi hai nam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao

rahegee na vo deewaangi, aur na meree bebasee
rahen na gar tere sitam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao

jaayegee tham baad-e-chaman, ujad jayegaa har gulshan
sookh ab jaayegee shabnam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao

teraa khyaal shaam-o-sahar, har sukhan teree nazar
ruk na jaaye ye kalam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao

[m.mayoos]

one more i forgot to paste

चाहे तुझे न हो खबर, है जुदाई का ये असर
आती है मौत दम-ब-दम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

chahe tujhe na ho khabar, hai judaai ka ye asar
aati hai maut dam-b-dam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao

[janumanu]

Originally Posted by m.mayoos

कहाँ चले तेरे कदम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ
हर इक मोड़ पे है गम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

थे जब उलफत के चिराग, थी रोशन राह-ए-हयात
अब तो हर सू है भरम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

फिर न कहना तू मुझे, हंसकर दूं रुखसत तुझे
क्यों तेरी आँख भी है नम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

रहेगी न वो दीवानगी, और न मेरी बेबसी
रहे न गर तेरे सितम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

जाएगी थम बाद-ए-चमन, उजड़ जाएगा हर गुलशन
सूख अब जाएगी शबनम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

तेरा ख्याल शाम-ओ-सहर, हर सुखन तेरी नज़र
रुक न जाए ये कलम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ


kahaan chale tere kadam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao
har ik mod pe hai gam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao

the jab ulfat ke chiraagh, thee roshan raah-e-hayaat
ab to har soo hai bharam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao

fir na kehna tu mujhe, hanskar doon rukhsat tujhe
kyon teree aank bhi hai nam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao

rahegee na vo deewaangi, aur na meree bebasee
rahen na gar tere sitam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao

jaayegee tham baad-e-chaman, ujad jayegaa har gulshan
sookh ab jaayegee shabnam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao

teraa khyaal shaam-o-sahar, har sukhan teree nazar
ruk na jaaye ye kalam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao

कहाँ चले तेरे कदम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ
हर इक मोड़ पे है गम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

kyaa kafiyat bandhi hai mayoos bhayee

touching


फिर न कहना तू मुझे, हंसकर दूं रुखसत तुझे
क्यों तेरी आँख भी है नम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ


very nice


तेरा ख्याल शाम-ओ-सहर, हर सुखन तेरी नज़र
रुक न जाए ये कलम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

this one also very good

[naresh_mehra110]

teraa khyaal shaam-o-sahar, har sukhan teree nazar
ruk na jaaye ye kalam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao

chahe tujhe na ho khabar, hai judaai ka ye asar
aati hai maut dam-b-dam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao


Bahut Khoob ............ mayoos Ji !

Very Impressive Indeed ! Very Touching ... !

BaaKii Ashaar Ke Khaayal Bhi Umdaa aur asardaar rahe ... mujhe tamaam ghazal bahut pasand aaii ... Tahe Dil Se Daad Hazir Hai ... aise hi aate rahen aur likhte rahen aage bhi ... khush rahen ...

duaaon ke saath ...

[Pradhyuman]

Mayoos,

Firstly, loved your radeef..it had an endless possiblity to make dis ghazal rise to the epitome..but i feel u wer in some sort of a hurry..

कहाँ चले तेरे कदम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ
हर इक मोड़ पे है गम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

tere and jao is not the same tone of addressing someone..dats d only observation..thought is good..


थे जब उलफत के चिराग, थी रोशन राह-ए-हयात
अब तो हर सू है भरम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

this one is good..however just a thought when u say zaraa aaj thehar jao the preceding line should justify dat ders some hope afterwards..like say instead of "ab to" if you write "abhi".. does it make sense? pls think over it

फिर न कहना तू मुझे, हंसकर दूं रुखसत तुझे
क्यों तेरी आँख भी है नम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

again tu, tujhe, teri and then jao..ive also done similar mistakes in the past..not dat i dnt nemore.. but dese simple things go unnoticed when we write it..its only when someone highlights it..i m bein d devil's advocate here


रहेगी न वो दीवानगी, और न मेरी बेबसी
रहे न गर तेरे सितम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

bebasi means helplessness..how will dat not remain if she goes? just wondering..it could be dat i didnt understand the thought behind it..the context in which dat word is being used


जाएगी थम बाद-ए-चमन, उजड़ जाएगा हर गुलशन
सूख अब जाएगी शबनम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

good.


तेरा ख्याल शाम-ओ-सहर, हर सुखन तेरी नज़र
रुक न जाए ये कलम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

bahot khoob..daad


चाहे तुझे न हो खबर, है जुदाई का ये असर
आती है मौत दम-ब-दम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

loved dis one..good..zaraa aaj theher jao here has a very large impact to whts being said..u knw wht i mean?

all in all not the kinds i expect from Mayoos.. der r very few people here frm hum i hav expectations..coz dey hav set their own standards..u r one of dem.

hope i have the right to say all dis nd beyond to u atleast..

god bless

yours truly,
Pradhyuman

[noor_noor]

Mayoos sahab mashaAllah bhut hi shaandaar ghazal paish ki hai aapne, tamaam hi aashaar mujhay bhut achay lage, aapki khidmat mai daad hazir hai qubool keejiye.........bhut khoob


aslam

[Dhaval]

mayoos saaHeb:

namaste!

har lafz dil ko Chhu gaye.n.. daad aur duaae,n!

KhuSh rahe.n.. apnaa Khayaal raKhe.n

duaao.n ke saath ijaazat

aapka

~Dhaval

[ISHK EK IBADAT]

m.mayoos bhai
radhe radhe

bahut hi khoobsoorat ghazal pesh ki hai aapne har ashar dil ke paas raha
daad kubul karen
duaon ke saath

[m.mayoos]

Thanks Janumanu........................how r things going on with u?

Originally Posted by janumanu

कहाँ चले तेरे कदम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ
हर इक मोड़ पे है गम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

kyaa kafiyat bandhi hai mayoos bhayee

touching


फिर न कहना तू मुझे, हंसकर दूं रुखसत तुझे
क्यों तेरी आँख भी है नम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ


very nice


तेरा ख्याल शाम-ओ-सहर, हर सुखन तेरी नज़र
रुक न जाए ये कलम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

this one also very good

[m.mayoos]

Thanks Naresh....................as always..............

Originally Posted by naresh_mehra110

teraa khyaal shaam-o-sahar, har sukhan teree nazar
ruk na jaaye ye kalam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao

chahe tujhe na ho khabar, hai judaai ka ye asar
aati hai maut dam-b-dam, zaraa aaj thahar jaao


Bahut Khoob ............ mayoos Ji !

Very Impressive Indeed ! Very Touching ... !

BaaKii Ashaar Ke Khaayal Bhi Umdaa aur asardaar rahe ... mujhe tamaam ghazal bahut pasand aaii ... Tahe Dil Se Daad Hazir Hai ... aise hi aate rahen aur likhte rahen aage bhi ... khush rahen ...

duaaon ke saath ...

[m.mayoos]

Hi Pradhyuman,

Thanks for spending time on this one and taking efforts to comment - really appreciate. I hardly write nowadays, when i do i am in a hurry
Tu, Tere and Jaao may not go together when u r addressing someone but i think it adds to the flow and it also conveys respect and closeness at the same time. Try this out replacing "tujhe" with "aap" or "jaao" with "jaa" and u may feel that the flow is completely whacked. I am not prone from making grammatical errors but I again I do not want my wiriting to get tied up by rules of grammar and neither do i actually analyse anything from that aspect. (I don't get paid so why bother?? ).

If this grammar is bothering you, just think of the "jaraa aaj thehar jaao" being spoken out loud directly to the subject, and the other ones as being the thoughts in the mind of the speaker (since he does not have courage to convey those loudly) - hey, there are always solutions to problems

In this one

रहेगी न वो दीवानगी, और न मेरी बेबसी
रहे न गर तेरे सितम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

you said,

"bebasi means helplessness..how will dat not remain if she goes? just wondering..it could be dat i didnt understand the thought behind it..the context in which dat word is being used"

Here I was not trying to convey what u understood. For me deewaangi and bebasi both are both are major feelings that make up love or are outcome of love i.e. they play big part in love. So this should be thought of as "When u don't do any sitam (again a necessary ingredient in love), there won't be any deewangi and bebasi i.e. there won't be any love left anymore." i.e. the going away would mean the death of love on both sides.

Don't expect too much and u will never be disappointed . Since you have to spend your time reading and analyzing, you have all the right to say anything that comes to your mind and of course point out the mistakes.

Let somebody offer me money for this and you will see how good i become

Originally Posted by Pradhyuman

Mayoos,

Firstly, loved your radeef..it had an endless possiblity to make dis ghazal rise to the epitome..but i feel u wer in some sort of a hurry..

कहाँ चले तेरे कदम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ
हर इक मोड़ पे है गम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

tere and jao is not the same tone of addressing someone..dats d only observation..thought is good..


थे जब उलफत के चिराग, थी रोशन राह-ए-हयात
अब तो हर सू है भरम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

this one is good..however just a thought when u say zaraa aaj thehar jao the preceding line should justify dat ders some hope afterwards..like say instead of "ab to" if you write "abhi".. does it make sense? pls think over it

फिर न कहना तू मुझे, हंसकर दूं रुखसत तुझे
क्यों तेरी आँख भी है नम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

again tu, tujhe, teri and then jao..ive also done similar mistakes in the past..not dat i dnt nemore.. but dese simple things go unnoticed when we write it..its only when someone highlights it..i m bein d devil's advocate here


रहेगी न वो दीवानगी, और न मेरी बेबसी
रहे न गर तेरे सितम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

bebasi means helplessness..how will dat not remain if she goes? just wondering..it could be dat i didnt understand the thought behind it..the context in which dat word is being used


जाएगी थम बाद-ए-चमन, उजड़ जाएगा हर गुलशन
सूख अब जाएगी शबनम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

good.


तेरा ख्याल शाम-ओ-सहर, हर सुखन तेरी नज़र
रुक न जाए ये कलम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

bahot khoob..daad


चाहे तुझे न हो खबर, है जुदाई का ये असर
आती है मौत दम-ब-दम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

loved dis one..good..zaraa aaj theher jao here has a very large impact to whts being said..u knw wht i mean?

all in all not the kinds i expect from Mayoos.. der r very few people here frm hum i hav expectations..coz dey hav set their own standards..u r one of dem.

hope i have the right to say all dis nd beyond to u atleast..

god bless

yours truly,
Pradhyuman

[m.mayoos]

"I am not prone from making grammatical errors"

sorry, wrong choice of words , should be

"I am not immune from making grammatical errors"

Originally Posted by m.mayoos

Hi Pradhyuman,

Thanks for spending time on this one and taking efforts to comment - really appreciate. I hardly write nowadays, when i do i am in a hurry
Tu, Tere and Jaao may not go together when u r addressing someone but i think it adds to the flow and it also conveys respect and closeness at the same time. Try this out replacing "tujhe" with "aap" or "jaao" with "jaa" and u may feel that the flow is completely whacked. I am not prone from making grammatical errors but I again I do not want my wiriting to get tied up by rules of grammar and neither do i actually analyse anything from that aspect. (I don't get paid so why bother?? ).

If this grammar is bothering you, just think of the "jaraa aaj thehar jaao" being spoken out loud directly to the subject, and the other ones as being the thoughts in the mind of the speaker (since he does not have courage to convey those loudly) - hey, there are always solutions to problems

In this one

रहेगी न वो दीवानगी, और न मेरी बेबसी
रहे न गर तेरे सितम, ज़रा आज ठहर जाओ

you said,

"bebasi means helplessness..how will dat not remain if she goes? just wondering..it could be dat i didnt understand the thought behind it..the context in which dat word is being used"

Here I was not trying to convey what u understood. For me deewaangi and bebasi both are both are major feelings that make up love or are outcome of love i.e. they play big part in love. So this should be thought of as "When u don't do any sitam (again a necessary ingredient in love), there won't be any deewangi and bebasi i.e. there won't be any love left anymore." i.e. the going away would mean the death of love on both sides.

Don't expect too much and u will never be disappointed . Since you have to spend your time reading and analyzing, you have all the right to say anything that comes to your mind and of course point out the mistakes.

Let somebody offer me money for this and you will see how good i become