ek pal jo thehray toh jaana sanam
tumhari "archana" mein hum sanwar gaye...
A
Good effort Ankita G! Aisa laage ha tussi ek free wheeling poetess ho...who cares more about the expression than about the rules...in one sense its alright! Good emotions and expressions!
Honaa Hai Fenaah Yaad Rakh Aye Shams Tujhko Bhi,
Is Kehkashaan Mein Mai He Nahi Waahid Shaye Faanee!
jeenay ki har chaah ko seekh gaye
dharti akaash mein milan paa gaye
ek ehsaas ka akaah hai woh tum ho
ek dharti ka padaav hai woh hum hain
milan toh hona hi hai tera aur mera
mat puch ki kab, woh waqt ho tum ho
aap pehlay insaan hain jin ko is baat ka ehsaas hua ki I pay more attention to expressions then rules.
I find sometimes the rules restrict you from expressing what you feel.
What do you say?
Anyway thanks for encouring me.
Regards,
A
Aur main Doosraa.. Mujhe aapki ye adaa bahot pasand aai Ankitaa.. padhaa to aapko wese pahle bhi kai baar hai aur har baar yahi khayaal aaata tha ke jaise ye Expressions itne khooob hain agar sahi maayne me inhe sheroN me dhaala jaaae to kamaal ki ghazal bane.. its my suggestion dear try to learn technical now and put your efforts in correct directions.. so that it would bloom like anything... My best wishes always with you... For any help we are always with you... Then go ahead and grab your destiny.... All the very best..
Shaad
ek pal jo thehray toh jaana sanam
tumhari "archana" mein hum sanwar gaye...
A
It is important that you feel first... rules and writing skills can be practiced and honed... but feelings cannot be... write your first draft spontaneously and go away from it for maybe a couple of days... come back and look at it and read it... if you can pick up the feeling from where you left off a couple of days ago... you have done a good job...