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Shiqaayat Ka Pulinda
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Vipinbox
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Shiqaayat Ka Pulinda - 14th December 2006, 09:27 PM

शिकायत का पुलिंदा

Kaise, Kab tak, Kis tarah main zindagi jeeta raha
baat aur jazbaat mein har waqt ko peeta raha.

Kaise simta mera bachpan dekhkar haiiraan hoon
kal jawaani se lipat main shaam tak rota raha.

Jeevan ko maine jo jiya panchi ke sang urrta mila
uske parron ka takiya ban main raat bhar sota raha.

Sookhi tehni pedh ki mujhko jhulaati reh gayi
apney adhoorey geet uss per baiith main gaata raha.

Ik shiqaayat ka pulinda dastakein deta raha
usko kissa maankar main ansuna karta raha.

Pyaas mein majboor ummidein sadak per so gayi
jaane kyon bauchaar se main is qadar jalta raha.

Mozey fatey se hain mere bazar mehngey ho chaley
jeb ko apni kalam se main sada silta raha.

Majdoor ban main dhoop mein manzil sajaata reh gaya
haathon ke chaaley dekh bhooka pet bhi darta raha.

Aaj bhi aakaash ko taktaa hoon aadhi raat mein
chaand ko Roti samajh main khud ko bhi cchalta raha.

Bhookey pyase jism mein sab sookhney ko ho chala
bas ek hee aansoo ko saari raat main taltaa raha.


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Dhaval
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15th December 2006, 10:14 AM

namskaar vipin ji

aapke har kalaam me bahot hi gehrayi hoti hai achha lagta hai aapko padhna dil ko chhune wala kalama ek bar fir se padhne ko mila aapki aur se achha laga bahot hi
ye kuch sher jo mujhe bahot hi pasand aaye

Sookhi tehni pedh ki mujhko jhulaati reh gayi
apney adhoorey geet uss per baiith main gaata raha.

Ik shiqaayat ka pulinda dastakein deta raha
usko kissa maankar main ansuna karta raha.

Majdoor ban main dhoop mein manzil sajaata reh gaya
haathon ke chaaley dekh bhooka pet bhi darta raha.

dilse nikli daad ko kubul kijiye
khus rahiye

aapka dost
dhaval


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bhut khub
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bhut khub - 15th December 2006, 10:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vipinbox View Post
शिकायत का पुलिंदा

Kaise, Kab tak, Kis tarah main zindagi jeeta raha
baat aur jazbaat mein har waqt ko peeta raha.

Kaise simta mera bachpan dekhkar haiiraan hoon
kal jawaani se lipat main shaam tak rota raha.

Jeevan ko maine jo jiya panchi ke sang urrta mila
uske parron ka takiya ban main raat bhar sota raha.

Sookhi tehni pedh ki mujhko jhulaati reh gayi
apney adhoorey geet uss per baiith main gaata raha.

Ik shiqaayat ka pulinda dastakein deta raha
usko kissa maankar main ansuna karta raha.

Pyaas mein majboor ummidein sadak per so gayi
jaane kyon bauchaar se main is qadar jalta raha.

Mozey fatey se hain mere bazar mehngey ho chaley
jeb ko apni kalam se main sada silta raha.

Majdoor ban main dhoop mein manzil sajaata reh gaya
haathon ke chaaley dekh bhooka pet bhi darta raha.

Aaj bhi aakaash ko taktaa hoon aadhi raat mein
chaand ko Roti samajh main khud ko bhi cchalta raha.

Bhookey pyase jism mein sab sookhney ko ho chala
bas ek hee aansoo ko saari raat main taltaa raha.
vipin ji ko raj ka namaskaar....vipin ji aapke har kalaam ko dil se mehsoos karta hoon....aapki har rachna or aapke khyaal itne bemisaal hote hain ki unmein jeene ko jee chhahta hai....aapki har rachna ko main jeena chhahta hoon....un ehsaaso se do chaar hona chhahta hoon jo aapke dil ki tarap se nikalte hain....aapka yeh kalaam bhut acha lagga...yu hee mehfil sajaye rakhna.....apna khyaal rakhna......raj.....


un se kar liya kinara unki khushi ki khatir
ab mujhe bewafa kahiye ya bawafa kahiye...(Raj)
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dilip200
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15th December 2006, 02:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vipinbox View Post
शिकायत का पुलिंदा

Kaise, Kab tak, Kis tarah main zindagi jeeta raha
baat aur jazbaat mein har waqt ko peeta raha.

Kaise simta mera bachpan dekhkar haiiraan hoon
kal jawaani se lipat main shaam tak rota raha.

Jeevan ko maine jo jiya panchi ke sang urrta mila
uske parron ka takiya ban main raat bhar sota raha.

Sookhi tehni pedh ki mujhko jhulaati reh gayi
apney adhoorey geet uss per baiith main gaata raha.

Ik shiqaayat ka pulinda dastakein deta raha
usko kissa maankar main ansuna karta raha.

Pyaas mein majboor ummidein sadak per so gayi
jaane kyon bauchaar se main is qadar jalta raha.

Mozey fatey se hain mere bazar mehngey ho chaley
jeb ko apni kalam se main sada silta raha.

Majdoor ban main dhoop mein manzil sajaata reh gaya
haathon ke chaaley dekh bhooka pet bhi darta raha.

Aaj bhi aakaash ko taktaa hoon aadhi raat mein
chaand ko Roti samajh main khud ko bhi cchalta raha.

Bhookey pyase jism mein sab sookhney ko ho chala
bas ek hee aansoo ko saari raat main taltaa raha.
vipin sir
namaskar
har baar main aapki rachnao se kuch na kuch seekhata hoon. bakai ek alag hi rnag main rangi hoti hain aapki rachnaye.n.
kitni garai se kitne saral shawdo main aap baat ko kah jate hain.
bakai ..............

Kaise simta mera bachpan dekhkar haiiraan hoon
kal jawaani se lipat main shaam tak rota raha.

Jeevan ko maine jo jiya panchi ke sang urrta mila
uske parron ka takiya ban main raat bhar sota raha.


waah kya baat hai.....
dil se nikli huyi daad kabool farmaiye
shukriya
dilip


" Dilip " -Ek Adhoora khwab


Dard bantne se ab darr lagta hai
mere gamo ka usnane falsafa bana diya
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meena chheda
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16th December 2006, 01:50 PM

............
   
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16th December 2006, 02:34 PM

Namaskar Vipin ji

Aapki Rachnaein to kayi baar parhi....Ghazal parhne ka mauqa aaj mila.....u have shown a good writer can take his creativity to new heights....mein aapki iss rachna ke liye aapko mubarakbaad dena chahungi....this creation of urs is bit different than others.....jo sher dil ko chuu gaye woh hain...

Aaj bhi aakaash ko taktaa hoon aadhi raat mein
chaand ko Roti samajh main khud ko bhi cchalta raha.

Bhookey pyase jism mein sab sookhney ko ho chala
bas ek hee aansoo ko saari raat main taltaa raha
.

Bahut kuch keh rahi hay yeh rachna.....really a beautiful poetry...keep writing...

Regards
   
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Vipinbox
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18th December 2006, 01:13 PM

Dhaval Ji
Namaskaar
aapka dhanyavaad karna chahunga jo aapne mujhe itney pyaar se parha. bahaut accha laga.

aapka
vipin


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Vipinbox
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18th December 2006, 01:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rajveeer View Post
vipin ji ko raj ka namaskaar....vipin ji aapke har kalaam ko dil se mehsoos karta hoon....aapki har rachna or aapke khyaal itne bemisaal hote hain ki unmein jeene ko jee chhahta hai....aapki har rachna ko main jeena chhahta hoon....un ehsaaso se do chaar hona chhahta hoon jo aapke dil ki tarap se nikalte hain....aapka yeh kalaam bhut acha lagga...yu hee mehfil sajaye rakhna.....apna khyaal rakhna......raj.....

Namaskaar Rajveer Ji
Bahauat bahaut khushi jaankar ki aap mere shabdon ko dil se mehsoos kartey hain. Rajveer Ji, ek baat kehna chahunga ki meri yahi dua hai ki meri rachnaon mein aapko aur kisi bhi ko na jeena padey kyonki ismein andhere ke siva kuch nahin hai. Jis samaychakra se main guzra hoon woh samay, woh pal kisi ko dekhne aur jeene ko na miley. Aur yahan is jagah main yeh kewal aapko hee bata raha hoon. Aap jaisa accha lekhak/shayar bahaut kamm nazar aata hai jahaan mein, aap jaise acchey dost ko main apni tooti-footee, rotee-bilakhtee, addhnangi, aadhi-adhoori, paschtaap ko peeti hui rachnaon mein nahin apney Dil mein rakhna chahata hoon.
Main aapka aabhaari rahunga ki aapne mujhe woh sammaan diya hai jiske aaspaas tow kya main door ke laayakh bhi nahin hoon.

aapka apna
vipin
...ek simat-taa shoonya


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Vipinbox
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18th December 2006, 01:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dilip200 View Post
vipin sir
namaskar
har baar main aapki rachnao se kuch na kuch seekhata hoon. bakai ek alag hi rnag main rangi hoti hain aapki rachnaye.n.
kitni garai se kitne saral shawdo main aap baat ko kah jate hain.
bakai ..............

Kaise simta mera bachpan dekhkar haiiraan hoon
kal jawaani se lipat main shaam tak rota raha.

Jeevan ko maine jo jiya panchi ke sang urrta mila
uske parron ka takiya ban main raat bhar sota raha.


waah kya baat hai.....
dil se nikli huyi daad kabool farmaiye
shukriya
dilip
Dilip Ji Namaskaar.
yeh aapka pyaar hai jo aapko lagta hai ki meri rachnaon se aap kuch seekhtey hain warna main bhi yahan bahaut kuch seekhney ki aas liye aata hoon. Yahan shayri.com per maine unhe parha hai jinke shabd boltey hain. Is site ka sttar bahaut ooncha hai.
aapka dhanyavaad karna chahunga jo aap mujhe parhney mein ruchi rakhtey hain. aapka aabhaari rahunga.

vipin


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Vipinbox
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18th December 2006, 01:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by meena chheda View Post
............
Meena ji
Aapko mera saadar Pranaam....
jaisa ki main pehle bhi keh chuka hoon ki aapke hastaakshar ka kewal ek bindu hee mujhe himmat de deta hai likhtey rehne ke liye.

aabhaar
vipin


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Vipinbox
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18th December 2006, 01:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sukanya View Post
Namaskar Vipin ji

Aapki Rachnaein to kayi baar parhi....Ghazal parhne ka mauqa aaj mila.....u have shown a good writer can take his creativity to new heights....mein aapki iss rachna ke liye aapko mubarakbaad dena chahungi....this creation of urs is bit different than others.....jo sher dil ko chuu gaye woh hain...

Aaj bhi aakaash ko taktaa hoon aadhi raat mein
chaand ko Roti samajh main khud ko bhi cchalta raha.

Bhookey pyase jism mein sab sookhney ko ho chala
bas ek hee aansoo ko saari raat main taltaa raha
.

Bahut kuch keh rahi hay yeh rachna.....really a beautiful poetry...keep writing...

Regards
Namaskaar Sukanya Ji
Aap fir mujhe parhney aayeen yeh dekh bahaut khusi hui.
waise maine sada kavita/rachna ko likhney ka hee prayaas kiya hai kyonki mujhe ghazal ka gyaan nahin hai. Fir bhi aapko aisa laga tow yeh mera saubhaagya hai.

aabhaar
vipin


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sakhi1909
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18th December 2006, 02:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vipinbox View Post
शिकायत का पुलिंदा

Kaise, Kab tak, Kis tarah main zindagi jeeta raha
baat aur jazbaat mein har waqt ko peeta raha.
***kya shuruaat hai bahut khub****
Kaise simta mera bachpan dekhkar haiiraan hoon
kal jawaani se lipat main shaam tak rota raha.

***dil le gya ye sher to .****

Jeevan ko maine jo jiya panchi ke sang urrta mila
uske parron ka takiya ban main raat bhar sota raha.
**chalo kahin neend to aa gai****

Sookhi tehni pedh ki mujhko jhulaati reh gayi
apney adhoorey geet uss per baiith main gaata raha.

***adhure shawad mein hi kitna ajeeb sa ehsaas hai ye batane ki baat nahi but samjhne ki hai****

Ik shiqaayat ka pulinda dastakein deta raha
usko kissa maankar main ansuna karta raha.

***wah kya baat hai******

Pyaas mein majboor ummidein sadak per so gayi
jaane kyon bauchaar se main is qadar jalta raha.
**hota hai yaisa bhi****

Mozey fatey se hain mere bazar mehngey ho chaley
jeb ko apni kalam se main sada silta raha.

Majdoor ban main dhoop mein manzil sajaata reh gaya
haathon ke chaaley dekh bhooka pet bhi darta raha.

*** wah*****
Aaj bhi aakaash ko taktaa hoon aadhi raat mein
chaand ko Roti samajh main khud ko bhi cchalta raha.

***kya bat kahi hai acha laga...par.....****

Bhookey pyase jism mein sab sookhney ko ho chala
bas ek hee aansoo ko saari raat main taltaa raha.

**bahut achey****
vipin ji aapka likhana apne aap mein ek khasiyat liye likhna hai.
usmein bahut kuch yaisa hota hai jissse ham do -chaar hote rahte hai.
yuhi likhte rahiye
sakhi with


कुछ ऐसे पल जिनको संजोना है ,
शब्दों में पिरोना है , जिससे वो हमारी यादों में महकते रहे
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akelijaan
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18th December 2006, 08:20 PM

Mozey fatey se hain mere bazar mehngey ho chaley
jeb ko apni kalam se main sada silta raha.

Majdoor ban main dhoop mein manzil sajaata reh gaya
haathon ke chaaley dekh bhooka pet bhi darta raha.

vipin ji,
adaab,kaise hain aap.
aapke kalaam ko padhkar ajeeb se kaifiyat hojaati hai.zindagi ki sachaayi kki bayaani karti hai aapki shayri.bahut acha laga padhkar.upar diye ashaar khoob rahe,aankhein nam hogayi padhkar.yunhin likhte rahiye.
take care.


yun bin bulaaye milne chala aata hai,
gham ko mujh se yeh unsiyat kaisi??

--akelijaan--
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sunita thakur
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19th December 2006, 10:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vipinbox View Post
शिकायत का पुलिंदा

Kaise, Kab tak, Kis tarah main zindagi jeeta raha
baat aur jazbaat mein har waqt ko peeta raha.

Kaise simta mera bachpan dekhkar haiiraan hoon
kal jawaani se lipat main shaam tak rota raha.

Jeevan ko maine jo jiya panchi ke sang urrta mila
uske parron ka takiya ban main raat bhar sota raha.

Sookhi tehni pedh ki mujhko jhulaati reh gayi
apney adhoorey geet uss per baiith main gaata raha.

Ik shiqaayat ka pulinda dastakein deta raha
usko kissa maankar main ansuna karta raha.

Pyaas mein majboor ummidein sadak per so gayi
jaane kyon bauchaar se main is qadar jalta raha.

Mozey fatey se hain mere bazar mehngey ho chaley
jeb ko apni kalam se main sada silta raha.

Majdoor ban main dhoop mein manzil sajaata reh gaya
haathon ke chaaley dekh bhooka pet bhi darta raha.

Aaj bhi aakaash ko taktaa hoon aadhi raat mein
chaand ko Roti samajh main khud ko bhi cchalta raha.

Bhookey pyase jism mein sab sookhney ko ho chala
bas ek hee aansoo ko saari raat main taltaa raha.
Vipin ji aapko padna accha lagta hai, aapki poetry mai.n ahsaas bahut badiya hotey hai.n aapne hamesha zindgi ki kisi na kisi sachai ko pesh kiya hai....yu hi hamesha likhtey rahiye....!

aapki dost


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


.....Sunita Thakur.....

यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...


   
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shiqaayat ashoo Shayri-e-Ishq 0 28th February 2005 02:54 PM



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