 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
 |
Chattaan Ka Phool.......................] |
 |
|
 |
|
(#1)
|
|
ek shoonya
  
Offline
Posts: 1,748
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: दिल्ली व देहरादून
Rep Power: 30
|
Chattaan Ka Phool.......................] -
4th June 2006, 01:43 PM
Chattan ke beech mein
khila hua chamkeela phool. Sirr uthaye ghamand se chattan hai tow kya hua. Tum door se mujhe dekh sakte ho, Meri khusbhu ko mehsoos kar sakte ho. Tapega Surya tow kya main hawa kee thodi si nami paa khud ko sambhaal loonga. Phir chali aayegi shaam nikat andhere ke. Phir Chidiya lautegi paas ke ghosle mein kahin. Mujhe apna geet suna sulayegi meri pattiyon ko hila. Mujhe santosh hai maine apna jeevan akele jiya. Aur khushi-khushi sukh jo mila Usne akele ka ehsaas hee na hone diya. 
|
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#2)
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 463
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Dehradun
Rep Power: 19
|
5th June 2006, 03:20 PM
vipin
kaise ho? bohat din bad aaj yeha ayi to tumari rachna padi. achi liki hei. kanchan |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#3)
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: India
Rep Power: 0
|
6th June 2006, 08:28 PM
Namaskar Vipin Ji
Bahut khoobsurat Rachna likhi hay Aapne......Kayi baar kuch imaginations kitna kuch kehtey hain......beautiful imaginations......kuch kuch aise hi ek English poetry likhi thi school days mein.......A Silent white lily on a Rock......uss poetry ki yaad aa gayi......may be har poetry ka meaning har poet ke liye different hota hoga....par soch ke acha laga how the imaginations says so many things through each poet's words...... keep up the good work |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#4)
|
|
|
ek shoonya
Offline
Posts: 1,748
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: दिल्ली व देहरादून
Rep Power: 30
|
7th June 2006, 12:53 PM
Quote:
Bahaut accha laga aapne mujhe fir parha. Meri khusnaseebi hogi yadi main aapki likhit uss poem ko parh sakun. Thanx for your valuable comments/views and kind word. Take care aapka shubhchintak v i p i n
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#5)
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: India
Rep Power: 0
|
7th June 2006, 07:22 PM
Namaskar Vipin Ji
Accha laga jankar ki aap mere veh poetry sunna chahtey hay... Kushnaseebi kaise....It's a simple poetry with simple words... Posting this poetry here itself......will like to know how it is....may be it won't be perfect like urs but imaginations used is somewat similar to ur poetry.... A Silent white lily on a Rock. Silent breeze flowing over the ocean Far from me near the almighty In midst of blue angel Flourishing a little angel All quiet on a black rock Named white lily by the world Tender lily appears so cool In a serene world so cool Held firmly by the rock Living under the care of breeze Dusk approaching with silent horror Sun appears to be drowning White angel takes over orange angel Rushing tides sweeping across the rock Torning the tender petals of lily with a mock Night torning tender petals Dawn bringing up new petals Some petals get torn away Some petals remain intact One hand of allah takes away tender petals One hand of allah gifts tender petals Someday everyone will posses tender petals Tender petals of love from the beautiful hands of almighty. Regards |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#6)
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 1,474
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: singapore
Rep Power: 21
|
7th June 2006, 09:41 PM
vipin ji aapko padhna bhaut achha laga akele sahi sukh to tha zindgi mai yahi bhaut hota hai jine k liye
aapko yaha dekhkar kushi hui shrdh 
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#7)
|
|
ek shoonya
Offline
Posts: 1,748
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: दिल्ली व देहरादून
Rep Power: 30
|
8th June 2006, 10:48 AM
Namaskaar Sukanya Ji
Bahaut accha laga aapki poem ko parhkar. Shabdon ka taakmail lajawaab hai. "Rushing tides sweeping across the rock Torning the tender petals of lily with a mock" khush rahiyega ========= Namaskaar Shrdh ji, Bahaut samay baad aapse mulaqaat hui tow accha laga. Aapne mujhe fir parha .........aapka bahaut bahaut dhanyavaad...sweekaar kijiyega. v i p i n
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#8)
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,814
Join Date: Nov 2003
Rep Power: 27
|
9th June 2006, 11:57 AM
Vipin jee...
sach maaniye...bus sheershak dekh kar kaafi din tak iss kavita ko maine ignore kar diya...phir aaj socha agar aapne chattaan ke phool ko lekar likhi hai tau kucch tau hoga uss chattaan ke phool mein ...aur kiss khubsurati se aapne uske buland hausle, uske santusht rehne aur phir har haal mein jeene ko ubhara hai...I salute you sir! for a wonderful poem...I loved every word... Aur Sukanya jee... Aapki kavita bhi behad khubsurat hai...jaante huye ki aapne kitni choti umr mein isse likhaa...simply beautiful... gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho --Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#9)
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 3,305
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Florida,USA
Rep Power: 26
|
11th June 2006, 09:02 AM
Vipin ji,
Beautiful and meaningful creation...Liked it, keep writting. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#10)
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 5,436
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: mumbai
Rep Power: 35
|
12th June 2006, 07:18 PM
Mitr,
............... tumhari Meena |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#11)
|
|
to feel & to be felt...
Offline
Posts: 1,311
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: On minds
Rep Power: 22
|
12th June 2006, 11:10 PM
kitni saadgi se itni gehri baat hain isme chhipi
 simply outstanding.... one the too gud posts ..i liked it vipin ji khil sa gaya mann isse dekh kar apna khayaal rakhiyega ****** Your attitude towards life decides Life's attitude towards you... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#12)
|
|
Humanity
Offline
Posts: 6,227
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 42
|
13th June 2006, 02:53 PM
Vipin bhai,
Bahut hi gehri baat bahut hi saadgi se keh di hai aapne... It was really a very beautiful expression... bahut pasand aaya mujhe... Likhte rahiyega yun hi... apna khayal rakhiyga... Ek confession main bhi karoon... Paras ki tarah maine bhi yeh title dekh ke is post ko kaafi din tak ignore kiya...  Lagta hai is baar "Pulkit", kismat teri bhi rang laayii hai |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#13)
|
|
ek shoonya
Offline
Posts: 1,748
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: दिल्ली व देहरादून
Rep Power: 30
|
14th June 2006, 10:43 AM
Adarniya Paras Ji, .....aapko mera pranaam
accha laga jaankar ki aapne mujhe fir parha aur saraaha. Isi prakaar aap yadi parttey rahenge tow himmat milti rahegi likhtey rehne ki. ----------- Dhanyavaad Parul Ji......mujhe parhney ke liye. =------- Aapko mera Pranaam Meena Ji, Jaisa ki main pehle bhi keh chuka hoon ki Dots ke roop mein Aapka maatr hastaakshar hee bahaut himmat deta hai. ----------- Pallavi ji, Namaskaar Accha laga aapne iss saadgi ko saraaha aur apney vichaar rakhey. Koshish karta rahunga.....shaayad kabhi accha likh sakun. Himmat dene ke liye aapka bahaut bahaut dhanyavaad. ---- Namaskaar Pulkit ji, Bahaut khushi hui jaankar ki aap woh mehsoos kar sakey jise likhney ka maine prayaas kiya tha. Saarthakta ki oar ek aur kadam aage barhgayi hai yeh rachna. Aapka dhanyavaad aapka v i p i n
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#14)
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 53
Join Date: May 2006
Location: ahmedabad
Rep Power: 18
|
14th June 2006, 06:09 PM
Kya khub vipinji
Jindgi ko itna positivly aapne bataya he ,agar insan ummid kho de to jina mushkil ho jayega par ummid banaye rakhe aur jindgi ko positive leke chale to vo aasan ho jati he jine ko. Phir chali aayegi shaam nikat andhere ke. Phir Chidiya lautegi paas ke ghosle mein kahin. Mujhe apna geet suna sulayegi meri pattiyon ko hila. Good 1 With wishes ilesh |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#15)
|
|
|
ek shoonya
Offline
Posts: 1,748
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: दिल्ली व देहरादून
Rep Power: 30
|
6th July 2006, 03:53 PM
Quote:
aapne sahi kaha hai ki Positive soch jeevan ko aasaan bana deti hai. bahaut khushi hui aapne mujhe parha....aapka bahaut bahaut dhanyavaad. v i p i n
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
«
Previous Thread
|
Next Thread
»
Linear Mode
|
|
|
Similar Threads
|
||||
| Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
| phool bhi tum | anand'mann' | Shayri-e-Ishq | 0 | 22nd April 2005 11:09 AM |
| phool | nihharikaa | Hindi Kavitayen | 3 | 8th July 2004 10:45 AM |
| Phool.. | Shayar 4ever | Shayri-e-Ishq | 0 | 19th June 2004 08:36 PM |
| Chattaan ka phool | Vipinbox | Shayri-e-Dard | 3 | 29th December 2002 10:40 PM |
| Phool | rohan love | Humourous Shayri | 1 | 14th November 2002 12:26 AM |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
