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ban aai jan par
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rahnuma
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ban aai jan par - 9th October 2007, 10:41 PM
apni wo shan par hain ham apni shan par
is jhuti zid me dekho ban aai jan par.
tajir bhi hain bahut aur kharidar bhi bahut
gam bik raha hai dekho khushi ki dukan par.
dil yun bhara khushi se teri khushi ke bad
nam e khushi na aaya dubara zuban par.
dikhta wo aaj kal hai sitaron ke beech me
kya bas gaya hai jakar wo aasman par.
ho ma ke wo bahen ho ya masooq ho mera.
har riste me hi paya khud ko dhalan par
   
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nice
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Mohammad Kashif
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Thumbs up nice - 10th October 2007, 11:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rahnuma View Post
apni wo shan par hain ham apni shan par
is jhuti zid me dekho ban aai jan par.
tajir bhi hain bahut aur kharidar bhi bahut
gam bik raha hai dekho khushi ki dukan par.
dil yun bhara khushi se teri khushi ke bad
nam e khushi na aaya dubara zuban par.
dikhta wo aaj kal hai sitaron ke beech me
kya bas gaya hai jakar wo aasman par.
ho ma ke wo bahen ho ya masooq ho mera.
har riste me hi paya khud ko dhalan par
REHNUMA JI >>>>>>>>>
Bahut umda likha hai apne dil ko chuliya apke kalaam ne ese hi likhte rahiye aap hamesha aur bhi accha likh sakten hain han ek baat ainda aap do line ke baad proper gap rakha kijiye isse padhne mein asani hoti hai

apni wo shan par hain ham apni shan par
is jhuti zid me dekho ban aai jan par.

tajir bhi hain bahut aur kharidar bhi bahut
gam bik raha hai dekho khushi ki dukan par.

dil yun bhara khushi se teri khushi ke bad
nam e khushi na aaya dubara zuban par.

dikhta wo aaj kal hai sitaron ke beech me
kya bas gaya hai jakar wo aasman par.

ho ma ke wo bahen ho ya masooq ho mera.
har riste me hi paya khud ko dhalan par
Es tarha se likhenge to behtar lagega

"Do Pal Ruka Khushio.n ka Karwan"


Dunia ke sitam ki koi perwah nahi mujhko,
wo kyoun mujhpe ungliya uthaye ja rahe hain.
Jis shaks ko janta tha ek chehre se ''kashif''
Uske kitne chehre samne laye ja rahe hain.
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sunita thakur
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10th October 2007, 02:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mohammad Kashif View Post
REHNUMA JI >>>>>>>>>
Bahut umda likha hai apne dil ko chuliya apke kalaam ne ese hi likhte rahiye aap hamesha aur bhi accha likh sakten hain han ek baat ainda aap do line ke baad proper gap rakha kijiye isse padhne mein asani hoti hai

apni wo shan par hain ham apni shan par
is jhuti zid me dekho ban aai jan par.

tajir bhi hain bahut aur kharidar bhi bahut
gam bik raha hai dekho khushi ki dukan par.

dil yun bhara khushi se teri khushi ke bad
nam e khushi na aaya dubara zuban par.

dikhta wo aaj kal hai sitaron ke beech me
kya bas gaya hai jakar wo aasman par.

ho ma ke wo bahen ho ya masooq ho mera.
har riste me hi paya khud ko dhalan par
Es tarha se likhenge to behtar lagega
accha laga kashif ji aapne ek behad khaas baat bataye rahnuma ji ko....umeed hai woh es baat ko samjeNge.

rahnumaa ji namaskaar.......aap ko padna accha laga, ahsaas khoobsurat lage, yu hi likhtey rhaiye aur haan kashif ji ki baat ko bhi gaur kijiyega.

god bless u

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


.....Sunita Thakur.....

यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...
   
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pooja_d
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11th October 2007, 05:54 PM
Namaste,

Well kya tarif kare...apne to pahali hi baar me bahot asar kiya hai...bahot hi achha laga padh kar.....aapne shayri likhi hai....maf kijiye is shayri ko shayri ke tarike se mishroN me baant ke post karen to jyada achha lagega padhne me....

Daad kabool kijiyega.....mujhe to puri hi nazm bahot achhi lagi....ummid hai aage bhi padh sakungi aapko.....

Ijaazat!!

Grazie

Pooja

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rahnuma
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rahnuma has a spectacular aura aboutrahnuma has a spectacular aura aboutrahnuma has a spectacular aura about
 
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28th November 2007, 09:15 PM
shukriya aap sab ka
   
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