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nazu43
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Red face Amazing!!! - 25th February 2005, 04:22 PM

True telephone conversations recorded from various Help Desks around
the UK

================================================== ==========================
==



Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one...

================================================== ==========================
==

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.

Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note...

Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's
still on
my desk... sorry.

================================================== ==========================
==

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

================================================== ==========================
==

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and...

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill

Gates damn it!

================================================== ==========================
==

Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it
says
'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in
front of
the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

================================================== ==========================
==

Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: No.

================================================== ==========================
==

Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

================================================== ==========================
==

Helpdesk: And now hit F8.

Customer: It's not working.

Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?

Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's
happening.

================================================== ==========================
==

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK

Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!

================================================== ==========================
==

Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital
letter
V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

================================================== ==========================
==



A customer couldn't get on the internet.

Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.

================================================== ==========================
==

Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

================================================== ==========================
==

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on
my

computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears !

================================================== ==========================
==



Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?

Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you
please
tell me how long it will take before you can help me?

Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?

Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4
hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?

================================================== ==========================
==

Helpdesk: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around
it?
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