joke of the day!

[zainy]

1...Long back,a person who sacrificed his sleep,forgot his family,forgot his food,forgot laughter were called 'Saints'

But now they are called..

'IT professionals'........





2...A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..

" Drive Slowly, Dont kill our Employee...... Leave them to us "....



3...Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!

BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside the
company..!...



zainy..

[zainy]

Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha,
kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyun?
Sardar bola, Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega ..

************************************************
Hitler says,
'There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary'
Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? 'Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na' ..
************************************************** ***********
1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya .
1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge!
Sardar: Mere uper se aeroplane guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheez hai? ...
************************************************** **********


Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police: Kyon hasn rahe ho?
Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun. ...

[Mayank]

really very funny jokes! It really made me lough. . keep posting! keep sharing!

and very happy deepawali to you.

Mayank

[Mayank]

'The financial situation at the moment is so bad that women are now marrying for love'....

[dineshdharvi]

Wife : Ek baat bolu??

Husband : Bolo

Wife : Maaroge to nahi?

Husbund : Nahi to, kya baat hai?

Wife : mai pregnant hun

Husband : Hurray!!! Its gud news, dar kyu rahi thi??

Wife : College ke dino mai papa ko bataya tha to badi maar padi thi

[dineshdharvi]

1000 chitiya swimming pool me sanan karne gayi

achanak ek hathi pani me gira

sab chitiya bahar uchli

bhool se ek chiti hathi pe chad gayi

baki sab boli DUBA SAALE KO DUBA

[zainy]

I Was Cooking Chicken.....
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When I Added Hara Dhaniya

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Guess What Happened...........??????????????????????????????? ?????
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Chicken Started Dancing And Singing...........................

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Hum Pe Ye Kisne Hara Rang Daala

Hum Pe Ye Kisne Hara Rang Daala


Allah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Maar Daala..........................Allah!!!!

Maar Daala.......................................

[mausam]

....................:d:d:d:d:d

[zainy]

sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.

Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.


.....

[zainy]

Please do not laugh!

In U.S. they invented a machine that catches thieves; they took it out
to different countries for a test.

In U.S.A, in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves;

In UK , in 30 minutes itcaught 50 thieves;

Spain , in 30 minutes it caught 65 thieves;

Ghana ,in 30 minutes it caught 600 thieves;

India , in 15 minutes the machine was stolen.

I thought I told you not to laugh??????? ?

Have a laughing day,

won't you!!.........

[dineshdharvi]

Originally Posted by zainy

sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.

Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.


.....

.................................................. ......

[zainy]

Some Important Laws Which Newton Forgot To State...

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

**********

LAW OF TELEPHONE : When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

**********


LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

**********

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

**********

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

**********

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

**********

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

**********

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS : The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

**********

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

**********

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

**********

......

[zainy]

Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing me. I don't know how she got my no, She interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"

....

[dineshdharvi]

ladki:bhagwan se..hey bhagwan meri shaadi kisi samjhdar aadmi se karana.
Bhagwan:Asambhav

Girl:??

Bhagwan:samajhdar aadmi kabhi shaadi nahi karte

[heart_killer]

......Joke OF the day.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...Mera Ye Post Padne wala aapne aap ko Insaan samjhta hai...

..hahahahhaaa..

[zainy]

TEACHER:..NAME 5 WILD ANIMALS?

STUDENT:..3 TIGERS AND 2 LIONS...................

[Baqtiar]

A Paki was driving a Mercedes, when suddenly one tyre went flat.

While he was changing his flat tyre another Paki came up behind him and smashed the front window saying:

'Bhai Jaan, aap tires lo, main stereo nikalta hoon'

[hasrat]

Santa - Angoor bech raha tha, magar kah raha tha ki aalu le lo aalu

Banta - bola ye to angoor hai

Santa - Chup ho jao warna fir se makhhiya aa jayengi

[kunal_ngh]

BiKhaRi- Kuch khaNa dedo....
saNta - Tamatar khao
Bikhari - Tamatar....! ok tamatar hi dedo....!
saNta's wiFe - Ye totLe hai keh rhe haiN.....Kamakar khao.....

[hasrat]

Janwaro ki party m chuha viski pee ke tunn tha

Billi - aaj party na hoti to mein tujhe kha jaati..

chuha - Ja chali jaa nahi to log kahenge ki pee kar aurat par hath utha diya........

[hasrat]

Leave application by a kid -


O my master when I cum gode gode water rain chum chum, leg my fisla gira me dhadam neeche my bag and upar was hum,


Isiliye 2day i can't cum.........

[hasrat]

Lady asks santa - LIPTON di chah hai?

Santa - Mainu ta nahi hai,
je tainu hai to aa lipat ja.............

[hasrat]

Teacher - Tum bade hokar kya karoge....

Student - shadi

Teacher - Nahi, mera matlab hai ki kya banoge....

Student - Dulha

Teacher - I mean bade hokar kya hasil karoge....

Student - Dulhan

[zainy]

Why do bride and groom exchange varmaala (garland) during wedding?

-To tell each other affectionately.."Sweetheart you are dead".......

[Baqtiar]

Originally Posted by zainy

Why do bride and groom exchange varmaala (garland) during wedding?

-To tell each other affectionately.."Sweetheart you are dead".......

And what about those who don't exchange varmaalas....??

"They kiss and tell.... you're sentence for life...."

[Baqtiar]

Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."

The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do after all, I was married to her for 40 years."

[zainy]

Raavan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta.

He refused saying: Sita par hath rakhkar itni musibat aayi! Ab Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga

[hasrat]

Ek jagah bom blast hua tab-

Reporter to Zakhmi - jab bom gira, kya wo tabhi blast ho gaya tha ya kuch der baad hua....

Zakhmi gusse me bola - nahi wo rengta hua mere pas aakar pyar se bola...

DHAPPAAAAAAAAAAAAaa....................

[Baqtiar]

American: Do u know swimming?
Indian: No.

American: Dog is better than u. It can swim.
Indian: Do u know swimming?

American: Yes, I know swimming
Indian: Then, whats the difference between DOG & YOU?

[zainy]

Santa london ke ek hotel me murgi khaane gaya lekin murgi ka english word bhool gaya

Waiter: What would you like to have sir ?

Santa: 1 plate Egg's mother
...................

[santosh_kumar]

Bunty: hum yahan nahi rahega hamara paisa wapis karo itna chota kamra or 1 stool, tum hamein janwar samjhta hai.

Waiter : sir kamre main to chaliye ye to LIFT hai.

[santosh_kumar]

Rajasthani aurat ne tej aa rahi bus ko roka.
Driver- kathe jano hai ?
Aurat- jano to kahte hi koni, bacho royi rio hai, zara bus ko poo-poo bajei de...

[santosh_kumar]

Bank robbers bank mein sher farmate hain....

Takdir mein jo likha hai wahi milega.
Takdir mein jo likha hai wahi milega.
Hands up koi apni jagah se nahi hilega.

[zainy]

Ek raat ik Shakhs ne Chand se poocha ki,
Ae chaand! Bata mera mehboob kya kar raha
hai ?

Chand bola:

"Beta dekh,
Pehli baat toh yeh ki main Tere baap ka
naukar nahi hoon

Doosri baat ye ki itni uparse Kuch nahi dikhta

Teesri baat ye ki yeh Chichora pan Tum log
zameen tak hi Rakho, mereko isme involve mat karo.....

[zainy]

Arre!... Kisi ko mera joke pasand nahi aaya...lagta hai yeh bohat common si baat hai.......

Koi nahi...... Ek aur joke hazir hai

Husband : (calls up Hotel Manager from Room) Please Come Fast, I am Having an Argument with My Wife & She Says She will Jump from ur Hotel Window.

Manager : Sir, I am Sorry, But this is Your Personal Matter

.Husband :U Idiot!..The Window's not Opening. This is a Maintenance Issue!!!.......))))))

[sunita thakur]

hmmmm....yeh badiya hai.........

[zainy]

Thanks di......:-)

Next one:

cycle wale ne 1 Aadmi ko takkar mar di.wo aadmi gir gaya aur cycle wale se ladne laga

cycle wala aadmi bola ziyaada bad bad na kar shukar kar tu bahut lucky hai

Aadmi - kaise

Cycle wala - Aaj meri chutti hai NAHI TO MAI TRUCK CHALATA Hoon......:d

[Neetu Bala]

Originally Posted by zainy

Thanks di......:-)

Next one:

cycle wale ne 1 Aadmi ko takkar mar di.wo aadmi gir gaya aur cycle wale se ladne laga

cycle wala aadmi bola ziyaada bad bad na kar shukar kar tu bahut lucky hai

Aadmi - kaise

Cycle wala - Aaj meri chutti hai NAHI TO MAI TRUCK CHALATA Hoon......:d

hahahahaha ........... nice one
.................................................. ............

[Neetu Bala]

Boy: Tumhara Naam Kya H?

Girl: Mina, Aur Tumhara?

Boy: Kamina

Girl: Jhut Mat Bolo

Boy: Tum 5 mint Pass Beth K Dakh Lo Phir Tum Isi Naam Se Bulaogi.

[zainy]

Originally Posted by Neetu Bala

Boy: Tumhara Naam Kya H?

Girl: Mina, Aur Tumhara?

Boy: Kamina

Girl: Jhut Mat Bolo

Boy: Tum 5 mint Pass Beth K Dakh Lo Phir Tum Isi Naam Se Bulaogi.

Lolzzz......................................