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****osda rishta mai muka hi dena aa****
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ADHURI HEER
Ranjhan bin Adhuri
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****osda rishta mai muka hi dena aa**** - 13th June 2008, 10:41 AM

Aapne aap naal waada kardi raha
ke osda rishta mai muka hi dena aa
osdiya yaada nu nahi sabh sabh rakhna
eh khazana mai aape hi gava dena hai
Socha ch nahi rakhna os nu kite vi
aapniya socha te parrda pa dena aa
jis cheeeez naal hai osdi yaad jurri
nazra samne os nu hita dena aa
nahi tha deni osnu dil ch kite
eh dil vi pathar bana hi dena aa
os naal gal nahi kariya karni
iss baat da silsila muka dena aa
nahi dekhana os nu kade vi akh bhar ke
ehna nazara nu os to bacha lena aa
oh mithi jihi muskaan de naal
jad vi oh mere samne aa jave
ta sochdi hai ke iss vaar dekh lava
agali vaari to jaroooooooor hi bhula dena aa







GOD IS GREAT

Last edited by chaahat; 18th June 2008 at 10:59 AM.. Reason: As per Heer ji's request
   
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yaaden_kamal
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13th June 2008, 11:31 AM

Heer ji,

Sat sri kaal

Kall tuhade bina eh sahitik vehra sunna sunna laggea. Inj laggea ke jive sahitik sath vich koi hove hi na. Pta nahi kyon? Khair, tuhadi eh poem vi bahut wadhia laggi. isey tarah sohnian sohnian poems dinde raho panjabi sahit nu.


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ABABBU
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14th June 2008, 10:08 AM

bahut hi sohni poem HEER te bewas jehi soch....
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tilakji
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14th June 2008, 01:07 PM

Sirf aakhro do lines wich dam si. Haanji bahut dam si. Par baaki di gall kujh ordinary jehi laggi. Ya es tarah keh lao ke kujh zyaadaa hi lammaa khich liaa tusi. VichaaraaN di repititiveness, average vocabulary. Inj laggaa ki ki bahut jaldi wich likhiaa hai. Anyway keep writing.


Merey Kissey wich aundaa ein tu .... Merey hissey wich kyuN nahi aundaa
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A-DEEP
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14th June 2008, 11:21 PM

Bahut hi sohni poem hai, ek hor kamaaaal kar chhadiya,
tuhadi poem di suruaat ta ek pathar dil vaag start hundi hai par Isda end iss poem nu hor nikhar janda hai, Iss da end ek candle vaag pegleya hoye dikhayi dinda hai, Very good poem









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ABABBU
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15th June 2008, 09:10 AM

[quote=A-DEEP;292755]Bahut hi sohni poem hai, ek hor kamaaaal kar chhadiya,
tuhadi poem di suruaat ta ek pathar dil vaag start hundi hai par Isda end iss poem nu hor nikhar janda hai, Iss da end ek candle vaag pegleya hoye dikhayi dinda hai, Very good poem



A-DEEP ji thank u ena pyara reply den lai. tusi ene pyare reply dinde ho ki poem khud b khud sohni ho jandi hai.
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ABABBU
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15th June 2008, 09:59 AM


HEER JI mai mafi chahunda ha ki tuhade thread ch A-DEEP JI nu reply kar gya.A-DEEP JI tuhade to v mafi chauhnda ha ..
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ADHURI HEER
Ranjhan bin Adhuri
ADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of light
 
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17th June 2008, 01:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by yaaden_kamal View Post
Heer ji,

Sat sri kaal

Kall tuhade bina eh sahitik vehra sunna sunna laggea. Inj laggea ke jive sahitik sath vich koi hove hi na. Pta nahi kyon? Khair, tuhadi eh poem vi bahut wadhia laggi. isey tarah sohnian sohnian poems dinde raho panjabi sahit nu.


Jagpal
Sukariya jagpal ji, poem read karan layi


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ADHURI HEER
Ranjhan bin Adhuri
ADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of light
 
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17th June 2008, 01:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by A-BABBU View Post
bahut hi sohni poem HEER te bewas jehi soch....
Thanks Babbu ji, iss poem nu like karan layi,


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ADHURI HEER
Ranjhan bin Adhuri
ADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of light
 
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17th June 2008, 08:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tilakji View Post
Sirf aakhro do lines wich dam si. Haanji bahut dam si. Par baaki di gall kujh ordinary jehi laggi. Ya es tarah keh lao ke kujh zyaadaa hi lammaa khich liaa tusi. VichaaraaN di repititiveness, average vocabulary. Inj laggaa ki ki bahut jaldi wich likhiaa hai. Anyway keep writing.
Thank u Talik ji,
tuhadi reply da hamesha hi intzar rehana hai kyon ke tuhadi reply hi dasdi hai ke poem kitho tak pass hai,
Mai ta ohi kuch poem ch likhaya, jis tara naal ek rishta muk sakda hove, vese mai jo jo sochdi gayi bas likhdi gayi, shayd kuch jiada hi lamma soch laya,hun eh ta mainu pata nahi,
Next time to try karagi ke best ho sake, par tuhade sab de sath naal hi ta likhan di jaach aavegi,so ise tara sath dende rehana, So thank u tuhadi iss reply layi


GOD IS GREAT

Last edited by ADHURI HEER; 17th June 2008 at 08:22 AM..
   
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ADHURI HEER
Ranjhan bin Adhuri
ADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of light
 
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17th June 2008, 08:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by A-BABBU View Post
HEER JI mai mafi chahunda ha ki tuhade thread ch A-DEEP JI nu reply kar gya.A-DEEP JI tuhade to v mafi chauhnda ha ..
Babbu ji iss wich mafi wali kehari gall hai, It is ok, Mainu ta khushi hai ke mera kam tusi kar dita, sukar hai meri tha vi kise ne mera kam kita, so iss layi thank u very much


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raj chandra
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17th June 2008, 03:23 PM

what a joke
   
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raj chandra
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17th June 2008, 03:30 PM

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Originally Posted by raj chandra View Post
what a joke
humne jab kabhi bhi koi kushi mehsus ki ,har kadam pe aap ki kami mehsus ki door ja kar bhi aapse dosti kam na hui yeh baat humne dil se mehsus ki.
   
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ADHURI HEER
Ranjhan bin Adhuri
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19th June 2008, 03:21 AM

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Originally Posted by raj chandra View Post
humne jab kabhi bhi koi kushi mehsus ki ,har kadam pe aap ki kami mehsus ki door ja kar bhi aapse dosti kam na hui yeh baat humne dil se mehsus ki.
Thx for sharing this


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ADHURI HEER
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19th June 2008, 03:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by raj chandra View Post
what a joke

I can't understand ur reply, what u mean? Plz explain

and also one more question for u
you gave me a Infraction for signature violation
Can u tell me what is violate in my signature ?
mere signature ch ajeha ki dekhiya ke tuhanu violate lagiya?
Raj ji iss question da ans jaroor dena



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musafir ek pal
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20th June 2008, 06:28 AM

heer ji SSA,

tuvadi kalam the holly holly rang chad-da dis reha aah. aakri char lina bahut hi changiyaan lagyian. umeed karde haa tussi eidhah hi likde ravoge. rab tuvanu chad-di kalla che rakein....

manish


Life is filled with goodbyes, a million goodbyes, and it hurts every time....and every time my heart dies a little...



Darkness falls on me like rain...
just
one drop at a time....

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yaaden_kamal
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20th June 2008, 07:12 PM

Hello Heer ji,

Mainu "you are subscribed to this thread da matlab nahin samaz laggea.

Ki tuhanu pta hai mainu jarur dasseo?

Kise kise POsting de augge ek yello jeha box ban janda hai usde agge eh message aaunda hai.

jekar tuhanu ja kise hor nu pta hove taan jarur dasseo.
   
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ADHURI HEER
Ranjhan bin Adhuri
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21st June 2008, 01:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by yaaden_kamal View Post
Hello Heer ji,

Mainu "you are subscribed to this thread da matlab nahin samaz laggea.

Ki tuhanu pta hai mainu jarur dasseo?

Kise kise POsting de augge ek yello jeha box ban janda hai usde agge eh message aaunda hai.

jekar tuhanu ja kise hor nu pta hove taan jarur dasseo.
Hello Jagpal ji
jad eh likhiya aave ke "You are Subscribed to this thread"
It means ke tusi eh poem read kar chuke ho and tusi iss thread yani ke iss poem nu reply de chuke ho
jis poem nu tusi reply kiti hovegi, Sirf os thread te hi box banega, eh ta sirf ta hi hai ke tuhanu yaad reh sake ke tusi kis kis nu reply kar chuke ho


GOD IS GREAT

Last edited by ADHURI HEER; 21st June 2008 at 01:27 AM..
   
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ADHURI HEER
Ranjhan bin Adhuri
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21st June 2008, 02:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by musafir ek pal View Post
heer ji SSA,

tuvadi kalam the holly holly rang chad-da dis reha aah. aakri char lina bahut hi changiyaan lagyian. umeed karde haa tussi eidhah hi likde ravoge. rab tuvanu chad-di kalla che rakein....

manish
Manish ji tuhanu punjabi mehfil ch dekh ke khushi hoyi
Thank u Manish ji, sanu vi read karan layi


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A-DEEP
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22nd June 2008, 09:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ADHURI HEER View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by raj chandra
what a joke


I can't understand ur reply, what u mean? Plz explain

and also one more question for u
you gave me a Infraction for signature violation
Can u tell me what is violate in my signature ?
mere signature ch ajeha ki dekhiya ke tuhanu violate lagiya?
Raj ji iss question da ans jaroor dena

Heer ji sanu ta tuhade signature ch koi vi problem nahi lagi, koi vi violation nahi lagi, Phir tuhanu signature karke Infraction kive mil sakdi aa,
Asal ch tusi poetry hi eni sohni likhde ho ke kai ta tuhade fan ho jande han and kai tuhade to jealousy karde han,
Eh infraction tuhade signature karke nahi sago jealousy karke hai ya phir kise ne revenge lena chaheya hai


--------------------------------------------
Jihdi mitro bhaal ch dil
oh na kuri labhdi,oh na kuri labhdi

Last edited by A-DEEP; 22nd June 2008 at 09:24 PM..
   
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sandeep
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23rd June 2008, 12:01 PM

Aapne aap naal waada kardi raha
ke osda rishta mai muka hi dena aa
osdiya yaada nu nahi sabh sabh rakhna
eh khazana mai aape hi gava dena hai
Socha ch nahi rakhna os nu kite vi
aapniya socha te parrda pa dena aa
jis cheeeez naal hai osdi yaad jurri
nazra samne os nu hita dena aa
nahi tha deni osnu dil ch kite
eh dil vi pathar bana hi dena aa
os naal gal nahi kariya karni
iss baat da silsila muka dena aa
nahi dekhana os nu kade vi akh bhar ke
ehna nazara nu os to bacha lena aa
oh mithi jihi muskaan de naal
jad vi oh mere samne aa jave
ta sochdi hai ke iss vaar dekh lava
agali vaari to jaroooooooor hi bhula dena aa
bahut hi piyara likhia a tusi heer ji
khud naal vaar-vaar asi eh vaade karde rehnde ha
te vaade tordn da gunaah v saade sir hi hunda a
kassh oh samjh lainde kadi saade ehsaasa nu
ke kise nu bhulanuna kina mushkil hunda a

   
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ADHURI HEER
Ranjhan bin Adhuri
ADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of light
 
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25th June 2008, 10:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sandeep View Post
bahut hi piyara likhia a tusi heer ji
khud naal vaar-vaar asi eh vaade karde rehnde ha
te vaade tordn da gunaah v saade sir hi hunda a
kassh oh samjh lainde kadi saade ehsaasa nu
ke kise nu bhulanuna kina mushkil hunda a
Thank u sandeep ji, mainu vi read karan layi,tusi bilkul theek keh rahe ho ke sandeep ji ke

kassh oh samjh lainde kadi saade ehsaasa nu
ke kise nu bhulanuna kina mushkil hunda a


GOD IS GREAT

Last edited by ADHURI HEER; 25th June 2008 at 10:56 AM..
   
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ADHURI HEER
Ranjhan bin Adhuri
ADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of lightADHURI HEER is a glorious beacon of light
 
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25th June 2008, 11:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by A-DEEP View Post
Heer ji sanu ta tuhade signature ch koi vi problem nahi lagi, koi vi violation nahi lagi, Phir tuhanu signature karke Infraction kive mil sakdi aa,
Asal ch tusi poetry hi eni sohni likhde ho ke kai ta tuhade fan ho jande han and kai tuhade to jealousy karde han,
Eh infraction tuhade signature karke nahi sago jealousy karke hai ya phir kise ne revenge lena chaheya hai
Tusi bilkul theek keh rahe ho Deep ji ke signature ta ek bahana hai, Ehna loka nu hor koi kam nahi,


GOD IS GREAT

Last edited by ADHURI HEER; 25th June 2008 at 11:08 AM..
   
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5th July 2008, 04:17 PM

hiii ssa heer ji..
m new to this web.. but u writen so nice...
god bless u
bye take care
   
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ADHURI HEER
Ranjhan bin Adhuri
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10th July 2008, 09:09 PM

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Originally Posted by dontknw View Post
hiii ssa heer ji..
m new to this web.. but u writen so nice...
god bless u
bye take care

Thanks for this reply


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Thumbs up 18th July 2008, 10:34 AM

Oye waah waah, heer ji.. bahuuuuuuutttttt sohna likheya.. specially last two lines bahut aa "THAA" aa, jo flow bna ke hauli hauli end te bahut kaim gall kahi aa.. simply superb..


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ADHURI HEER
Ranjhan bin Adhuri
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22nd July 2008, 05:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rupisekhon View Post
Oye waah waah, heer ji.. bahuuuuuuutttttt sohna likheya.. specially last two lines bahut aa "THAA" aa, jo flow bna ke hauli hauli end te bahut kaim gall kahi aa.. simply superb..
Thank u very much Rupi ji iss poem nu like karan layi


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monu.sagar
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25th October 2008, 05:10 PM

HAPPY DIWALI DEAR FRIENDS


IS SAAL YEH NAI REET HAI
HUMARA BHE KOI MEET HAI
DIWALI HUM BHE MANAYEGE
KYOKI YEH DUNIYA KE REET HAI
   
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7th November 2008, 07:39 PM

Nice written Heer, really touching ma heart.. thx



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