Aadaab mere bhaeeo, bahno!
As this section's name states-- Shayri ki Paath-shaalaa.. i.e. Madrsa-e-Shayri.. I would like to continue with the stated aim of this section and learn with all of US ...
Nothing beats practicals.... therefore I request the people with the knowledge to Please come forward and help us learn...
I have a piece of work, an old work of mine which I need to get fixed, i request the advice of the experts and friends who know anything about the different aspects of ghazal to please come forward and help fix it's many flaws. Khaaksaar nay isay sahee karney ki itnee baar koshishayn kee kuch arsay pahlay tak, phir thak kar side mayn rakh diya yay soach kar kabhie fursat milegi tou yahaan apnay dost shura kay saath discuss karlengay aur islaah talab karengay, meri zaati appeal haye
Zidd bhaee, Ufaq Bhaee, Sumit bhaee, Zarra bhaee, Shaad bhaee, Maikash Saahab, Mujib Saahab, Ahmad Shakil saahab say ki aagay aayayn aur hamaray ilm mayn izaafa karayn!!
It is an attempted ghazal -With an apparent bahr:
221 122 222 , 222 212 12
Radeef aur Title haye: Tanhaa-Tanhaa, Kabhie-Kabhie!
Tumko khoker mahsoos Kia , tanha-tanha, kabhie kabhie,
Afsoas hua khudko Paaya, tanha-tanha kabhie kabhie!
Mehfil mein tumhari aye jaanaaN, yun to ham bhi shaamil he thay
Phir bhi humnay Khudko paayaa, tanha-tanha, kabhie kabhie!
Phoolon ke mausam mayn jaanaaN jab yaad tumhari aayi hai,
Hai zer-e-shajar khudko paayaa, tanha-tanha, kabhie kabhie!
Lafzon mayn bayaaN mumkin he nahi rudaad-e-tanhai apnee,
Hai bay-saaya khudko Paaya, tanha tanha kabhie kabhie!
Ahmad kay dilper kya beeti, Ahmad ka dil he yay jaanay,
Ahmad nay jab khudko paayaa, tanha tanha kabhie kabhie!