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kaun apne? kaun begaane hai? |
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(#1)
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~ Ek Ghazal ~
  
Offline
Posts: 1,454
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: London
Rep Power: 32
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kaun apne? kaun begaane hai? -
24th October 2009, 04:19 PM
Mere Pyaare Dosto
Aap sab ko purvi ka aadaab/ namaskaar…. Aaj dard ki mahefil meiN apni ek nayi koshish aap sab ki nazar kar rahi hooN. aap ki raa'ye ki muntazir...... Is zaalim duniya meiN kaun apne? kaun begaane hai? Kabhi lagte ajnabi, to kabhi jaane-pahechaane hai Na fikr kisi ko kisi baat ki, na khalti hai tanhaayi bhi Sabr-e-gham bhulaane ko jaate woh maikhaane hai Labo.N pe muskaan sajaaye firta hai har koii yahan Sajaate hai mahefileN aur ruho.N mein viraane hai Dilo.N se khelane ka haasil hai kya khoob hunar Lunt kar jahan kisika, kahete khudko deewaane hai Chhod dete hai jahan per Maut bhi bahetar lage Khured ke rakhte hai yeh zakhm jitney puraane hai  ~*~Kaash Dil ki aawaz mein aisa asar ho jaaye
Jise Hum Yaad karte hai use Khabar ho jaaye ~*~ |
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(#2)
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Some Mirrors Lie...
Offline
Posts: 3,133
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Shehr-e-husn
Rep Power: 44
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24th October 2009, 04:25 PM
Labo.N pe muskaan sajaaye firta hai har koii yahan
Sajaate hai mahefileN aur ruho.N mein viraane hai Wah Purvi Jii,, Hamesha ki tarah aap ki yeh kalaam bhi dil k taar chair gayi  Oper quote kiya shair to bas janab kia kehnay.... Aisay hi acha acha likhtey rahiye,, Take care,, tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di! kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN... ("Asad") |
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(#3)
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~ Ek Ghazal ~
Offline
Posts: 1,454
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: London
Rep Power: 32
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25th October 2009, 09:58 AM
Quote:
aap jaise dosto ka saath aur duwa rahi to yakinan aise hee likhti rahungi purvi ~*~Kaash Dil ki aawaz mein aisa asar ho jaaye
Jise Hum Yaad karte hai use Khabar ho jaaye ~*~ |
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(#4)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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24th October 2009, 05:13 PM
Dii Aadaab..............
Aapki yeh gazal to behad tanziya lagi, kahiN hum logoN ko to aapne nishana nahi banaya  .............. Bahut achche sher hai aur haqeekhat ke behad kareeb...... Aapki nazar ki daad deta hun kabool kijiye...Likhati rahiye.... yeh sher behad achche lage..... Labo.N pe muskaan sajaaye firta hai har koii yahan Sajaate hai mahefileN aur ruho.N mein viraane hai Dilo.N se khelane ka haasil hai kya khoob hunar Lunt kar jahan kisika, kahete khudko deewaane hai Chhod dete hai jahan per Maut bhi bahetar lage Khured ke rakhte hai yeh zakhm jitney puraane hai Khush rahiye.... Apna kahayal rakhiye... Aapka Bhai.. 
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(#5)
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~ Ek Ghazal ~
Offline
Posts: 1,454
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: London
Rep Power: 32
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25th October 2009, 05:21 PM
Quote:
Mere bhai.. tumheN nishaana banakar kahaN jayungi...  waise yeh ghazal kisi ko bhi nishana banakar nahi likhi.... bas kuch dil ne kaha aur maiNe likha..... tumheN koshish pasand aayi yeh jankar accha laga. Ummid karti hoon aage bhi tumhara saath milta rahega tumhari dii ~*~Kaash Dil ki aawaz mein aisa asar ho jaaye
Jise Hum Yaad karte hai use Khabar ho jaaye ~*~ |
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(#6)
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Sifar
Offline
Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
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25th October 2009, 05:28 PM
Purvi jee
Accha hai to accha kaha jayega.. lo hum bhi accha keh dete hai .. badi chuttki leti nazar aap aa rahi hai .. sahi kaha khwahish ne ki kahin nishana hum hi to nahi .. mujhe pasand hi nahi aaya.. dil main bas gaya kahin kahiN.. acha hai .. aapki kalam ko inayat barse khuda .. Kunaal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#7)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 567
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Dubai
Rep Power: 29
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25th October 2009, 06:31 PM
Dubai waaloN ko Dubai wale ka Aadaab,
Aap ki nazm pa.Dhi aur bahot pyaare lage aap ke ehsaas. Kaafiye bhi khubsuurat ban pa.De haiN. Puura kalaam hi khuubsuurat hai, siway chand kamiyoN ke. Inki nishandehi kar raha huuN baghair aap ki ijaazat ke. Ummiid hai ek dost ki rai maan kar ise leNgi. Agar koi baat buri lage to bila jhijhak keh dijiyega. Is zaalim duniya meiN kaun apne? kaun begaane hai? Kabhi lagte ajnabi, to kabhi jaane-pahechaane hai Aapke saare kaafiye plural meiN haiN isliye aapke radiff bhi usiike mutabik hone chahiye yaane “hai” nahi balki “haiN” hona chahiye Na fikr kisi ko kisi baat ki, na khalti hai tanhaayi bhi Sabr-e-gham bhulaane ko jaate woh maikhaane hai Ya to ghum bhulane ko piite haiN, ya ghum meiN sabr karne ko piite haiN. Sabr-e-ghum bhuulane ko grammatically ghalat hai. Labo.N pe muskaan sajaaye firta hai har koii yahan Sajaate hai mahefileN aur ruho.N mein viraane hai Duusra misra kharij ho gaya kyuNki aapne “hai” do baar istemaal kiya hai jiska koi sahi mayne nahi nikalta. Iski ek suurat ye ho sakti hai “Saje hue mehfiloN aur ruho meiN viraane haiN” Dilo.N se khelane ka haasil hai kya khoob hunar Lunt kar jahan kisika, kahete khudko deewaane hai “haasil” alfaaz ka mayne hota hai milna ya mila and Natiija. Aap ne jahaaN haasil alfaaz ko bithaya hai us se natiije ki suurat pehle ubhartii hai aur milne ki baad meiN. Is lihaaz se shayad aap kehna chahti haiN ki diloN se khelne ka hunar kisi ko haasil hai. Aur agar ye sahi hai to fir “haasil” alfaaz hunar ke baad aana chahiye tha. Jaise ki “DiloN se khelne ka kya khuub hunar hai haasil…… Chhod dete hai jahan per Maut bhi bahetar lage Khured ke rakhte hai yeh zakhm jitney puraane hai Pehle misre meiN shayad “per” ki jagah “ke” ya “ki” hona chahiye tha kyunki per se jumla kharij ho jata hai. Ummid hai aap meri baatoN ka bura nahi maneNgii. MaiN aadatan aur usulan bhi tit-for-tat wale hisaab meiN yaqiiN nahi rakhta. Sirf wah-wahi nahi karta. Sahi lagta hai to sahi aur ghalat hai to dost samajhkar apni chawanni ki rai rakh deta huuN.  Khush rahiye aur likhte rahiye. Aadaab Shyam HumeN gunah bhi karne ko zindagi kam hai." -Anand Narayan Mulla. वो कौन है जिन्हें तौबा की मिल गई फुरसत, हमें गुनाह भी करने को ज़िंदगी कम है. -आनंद नारायण मुल्ला |
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(#8)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 47
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24th October 2009, 07:31 PM
Quote:
bahut khoobsurat ghazal sunaii hai apne................ ashaar to sare acche aur saaf hai hi adaa bhi acche hue mere khayal se...... ek jagah zara laga ki jumla nahi ban paya......is line me Sabr-e-gham bhulaane ko jaate woh maikhaane hai shayad sabr -e-gham apke context me fit nahi hota dikta.........mai magar ,,ofcourse,galat bhi ho sakta hu........ baki meri daad hajir hai.....bahut acche regards |
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(#9)
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Ek Kasak...
Offline
Posts: 6
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: India, GUJARAT
Rep Power: 0
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24th October 2009, 07:39 PM
Aadaab Purviji....
Wah kya behad khubsurti se aapne aaj dard ka ehsaas karvaya hain behad hi khubsurat andaaz hain apke likhne ka khush rahiye aur mujhe khas taur par yeh sher behad hi pasand aaye Labo.N pe muskaan sajaaye firta hai har koii yahan Sajaate hai mahefileN aur ruho.N mein viraane hai Dilo.N se khelane ka haasil hai kya khoob hunar Lunt kar jahan kisika, kahete khudko deewaane hai Wah Dil se Daad kubool kijiyega... Aapka Dost, BaBa... Zindagi Tujhse me kya chahta hoon, bus kat jaye ye chaar din itna hi to me chahta hoon...
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(#10)
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Anshumali
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Posts: 7,420
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: DELHI (INDIA)
Rep Power: 87
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24th October 2009, 08:07 PM
Purvi ji...Namashkar ! kaisi hai aap !....jeevan se ru-b-ru karate aapke sabhi ashaar...mujhe bahut ache lage....padhne wale ki soch par apna asar chhodhne ki koshish karte hai....ek achi peshkash rahi aapki...aise hi likhte jaaiye...khush rahiye....  YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ... Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ... ---Naresh Mehra---- |
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