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Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) |
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(#1)
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Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) -
29th March 2006, 05:41 PM
Kat Raha Hai Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha
Qaafilaa Sang Chalaa Aur Basar Tanha Jaha.N Mai Doston Ki Kami Na Thi Tum Nahi Saath To Ye Shahar Tanha Khushi Ki Maunjein Lakh Samunder Me Kinare Ko Mili Ghem Ki Lahar Tanha Raat Khuwabon Mai Saath-Saath Bitee Neend Tooti Phir Wahi Sahar Tanha Umeed K Diye Jalaye Raah Mai Kaee Na Loute Wo Louti Hamari Nazar Tanha Shor Aur Mahfile Kaha Raas Aayi Hai Humne Guzare Hai Charo.N Pahar Tanha Na Dastak De Ab Darwaze Par Koi So Gaye Pi Kar Judaee Ka Zahar Tanha shrdh 
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Super -
29th March 2006, 05:57 PM
bahutttttt achcha shardhha. kamal ki kavita hai. 2 bar pad chuka kal fir padunga. bur marks ek bar hi dunga.
100/80 ok? jayada to nahi de diya  ok koi bat nahi. next time adj. kar lunga ha..ha.. thanks `·.¸(¨`·.·´¨) Keep (¨`·.·´¨)¸.·´ Smiling! `·.¸.·´ |
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(#3)
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29th March 2006, 06:00 PM
shrdha dost
ek aur khoobsurat aur bharpoor takhleeq hai yeh aap ki. meri nacheez daad qabool karein. hamare haan kahawat hai Kuch bhi na kaha aur keh bhi gaey kuch kehte kehte reh bhi gaey aap ne apne is kalam mein bohat kuch kaha mager yeh lagta hai ke bohat kuch abhi baaqi hai, tanhaayee kyaa azaab hoti hai yeh koee tanha loagon se pooche. aap ka yeh shayr haasil e ghazel hai. Raat Khuwabon Mai Saath-Saath Bitee Neend Tooti Phir Wahi Sahar Tanha tanhaayee ka afsaana bohat khoobsurti se bayan kiya hai aap ne dost. dua go hoon ke tanhaayee ke azaab se hamesha aap mehfooz rahein aur khush aur aabaad rahein. musharrafhusain |
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Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) |
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(#4)
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EK CHAMAKTA HUA SITARA
 
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Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) -
29th March 2006, 06:05 PM
meri behna
aapki kosish kaafi hadd tak kamiyab rahi  kuch sher jayada ache lage jo likh raha hu "Kat Raha Hai Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha Qaafilaa Sang Chalaa Aur Basar Tanha" suruaat bhi badi achi ki hai aapne isliye achi honi hi hi "Na Dastak De Ab Darwaze Par Koi So Gaye Pi Kar Judaee Ka Zahar Tanha" poori gazal in dono sher k bich mein hai aur ye dono hi khoobsurat hone k karaan ishki khoobsurati aur badh gayi hai likhti rahiye...take care apka Diggaj Quote:
kabhi humne yu khud ko harata naa dekha Kaise Samjhau Dil-e-hasarat-nasiib Ko Apne K Sab Kuch Milta Nahi Chah Lene Se Ish Zamane Mein..... "Diggaj" |
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(#5)
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30th March 2006, 01:16 AM
Shrdh
Tumhari soch ne is baar dil pe gehra asar chora hai ... aur tareef karne padegi tumhari kabiliyat ki .. maiN behad muttasir hua huN tumhari is nazm ko padh ke .. ehsasoN pe gaur kareN to har sher apni duhayi si de raha hai .. aur usi tarah tumne flow ko bohat acche se barkaraar rakha hai ... har mishre se tanha shabd ka milaan bohat sareekhi kosish tumhari .. behad nikhri hui... mujhe bohat accha laga .. halaNki takneeki kamiyaN nikali ja sakti hai ... par mujhe pasand aaya .. bohat acchi chalaang lagayi hai tumne apne pichle kalaamoN se .... yuN hi likhti raho .. nikharte hue .. dua rahegi tumhare liye tumhaara apna Kunal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) |
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(#6)
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Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) -
30th March 2006, 06:07 AM
Kat Raha Hai Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha
Qaafilaa Sang Chalaa Aur Basar Tanha Jaha.N Mai Doston Ki Kami Na Thi Tum Nahi Saath To Ye Shahar Tanha Khushi Ki Maunjein Lakh Samunder Me Kinare Ko Mili Ghem Ki Lahar Tanha Raat Khuwabon Mai Saath-Saath Bitee Neend Tooti Phir Wahi Sahar Tanha Wah.... Umeed K Diye Jalaye Raah Mai Kaee Na Loute Wo Louti Hamari Nazar Tanha Shor Aur Mahfile Kaha Raas Aayi Hai Humne Guzare Hai Charo.N Pahar Tanha Na Dastak De Ab Darwaze Par Koi So Gaye Pi Kar Judaee Ka Zahar Tanha Kya baat hai.... shrdh, Kya baat hai ek dum mast likha hai... yunhi likhti raho... i have no words to describe how beautiful it is.... Take Care Rohin |
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wah |
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wah -
30th March 2006, 07:02 AM
wah sare ashar kamal ke hain aur kaheen aisa nahee laga kisee aise shayer ne kahee hai jo ghazal kam likhta hai ye ek dam dusrust kahee gayee ghazal hai aur jitne ghzal kaheen hain tum ne un main sab se achee bhee bahut khoob soort.
mujeh eh sher sab se achha laga Raat Khuwabon Mai Saath-Saath Bitee Neend Tooti Phir Wahi Sahar Tanha Anil kho gaye hain woh log ab un kee justzoo hai |
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(#8)
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30th March 2006, 09:28 AM
hi sweets,
yu to kal hi isse parh liya tha n i cud tell u wat i felt after reading it. well its superb. ur flow of thoughts, ur grip in ur writing .its excellent. meri daad kabool karna aur yu hi mefil mein aapne anmol kalam hum sab ke beech mein share karte rehna. i cant pin point one or two shers. its complete in itself.take care n may god bless u with his finnest glitters. with love jasleen. |
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Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) |
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(#9)
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Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) -
30th March 2006, 09:32 AM
Quote:
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(#10)
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Humanity
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30th March 2006, 11:30 AM
Kat Raha Hai Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha
Qaafilaa Sang Chalaa Aur Basar Tanha Jaha.N Mai Doston Ki Kami Na Thi Tum Nahi Saath To Ye Shahar Tanha Waaaaaaaaahhhh....! Khushi Ki Maunjein Lakh Samunder Me Kinare Ko Mili Ghem Ki Lahar Tanha Raat Khuwabon Mai Saath-Saath Bitee Neend Tooti Phir Wahi Sahar Tanha Bahut Khooob....! Umeed K Diye Jalaye Raah Mai Kaee Na Loute Wo Louti Hamari Nazar Tanha Shor Aur Mahfile Kaha Raas Aayi Hai Humne Guzare Hai Charo.N Pahar Tanha waah waah waahh... loved both the shers here.... Na Dastak De Ab Darwaze Par Koi So Gaye Pi Kar Judaee Ka Zahar Tanha Waaaaahh... Dear Shraddha, Main kya kahoon yaar... You have written so so so beautiful... kyaa khoobsurat flow hai... khoobsurat ghazal likhi hai tumne... ehsaas to humesha hi khoobsurat hote hain....just loved it... Meri dil se daad kubool karna... and telll me when u r free.... I have to take tips.... Lagta hai is baar "Pulkit", kismat teri bhi rang laayii hai |
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(#11)
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30th March 2006, 02:39 PM
Hi,
Its really Good Shraddha ji. "Na Dastak De Ab Darwaze Par Koi So Gaye Pi Kar Judaee Ka Zahar Tanha" wah................... Thanks, Rohit Sinha |
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(#12)
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30th March 2006, 03:29 PM
kafi dino ke baad kuchh achha parne ko mila hai.
yu hi likhte rahena Take care vo bita huva tyohar fir se de de khuda...... ek pal ke liye bitee huvi zindagi ka kaam hai khuda.......... jish nirdosh aankho se VISH mujhe dekhati thi............ vo ek pal mujhe de de khuda............ |
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Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) |
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(#13)
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Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) -
30th March 2006, 07:52 PM
wowww ......
very nice my dear friend............ Shor Aur Mahfile Kaha Raas Aayi Hai ,,,,, Humne Guzare Hai Charo.N Pahar Tanha..... Na Dastak De Ab Darwaze Par Koi,,,,,,, So Gaye Pi Kar Judaee Ka Zahar Tanha....... hamaare dard ka paimana sach mein chhalak sa gaya hai aaj yeh padkar ..... kyon kisi moment per insaan itna tanha ho jata hai....... aise hi likhte raho....... .................................................. ...... humein unse mohabbat huyee,,,,,,,,,, to unhe hamaari mohabbat pe shak tha....... jab unhe hamaari mohabbat ka ehsaas huya,, to hum per kisi orr ka "HAQ" tha....... .................................................. .......... JAISE LOUT JATI HAIN LAHREN KINARA DEKHKAR.... TUM KANDHA NA DENA MERE JANAZE KO.......................... KAHIN FIR ZINDA NA HO JAU TERA SAHARA DEKHKAR..... |
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Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) |
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(#14)
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Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) -
31st March 2006, 11:49 AM
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Zaari rakhiye.. MayanK |
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Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) |
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(#15)
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Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) -
31st March 2006, 12:59 PM
Kat Raha Hai Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha
Qaafilaa Sang Chalaa Aur Basar Tanha Jaha.N Mai Doston Ki Kami Na Thi Tum Nahi Saath To Ye Shahar Tanha Khushi Ki Maunjein Lakh Samunder Me Kinare Ko Mili Ghem Ki Lahar Tanha Raat Khuwabon Mai Saath-Saath Bitee Neend Tooti Phir Wahi Sahar Tanha Umeed K Diye Jalaye Raah Mai Kaee Na Loute Wo Louti Hamari Nazar Tanha Shor Aur Mahfile Kaha Raas Aayi Hai Humne Guzare Hai Charo.N Pahar Tanha Na Dastak De Ab Darwaze Par Koi So Gaye Pi Kar Judaee Ka Zahar Tanha Dear Shraddha, You have come up with one more beautiful expression of ur's... Deep and dense but still crisp and clear! Do keep writing ... jab se kisi ne karli hai suraj ki chori aao chal ke suraj dhoondhein aur na mile toh kiran kiran phir jama karein hum aur ik suraj naya banyein -NM |
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Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) |
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(#16)
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Zakhm-e-Rooh
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Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) -
31st March 2006, 02:16 PM
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aage Haar kar jitne ka haosala rakhte hai justazoo hai mil jaaye vo jafar tanha Mere jakhmo pe tere ashq marham ban jaaye Sah lenge zaamaane ka har kahar tanha Zindgibhar rehnuma thi ummide meri Maut me saath deti vo rahgujar tanha Nasib nahi mere janaaze ko sahara tera kabra mai umrbhar saath hai gadar tanha Jafar- jeet Gadar-kaali andheri raat take care with regards manu |
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Undiscribeable |
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Undiscribeable -
1st April 2006, 07:19 AM
Didi,
ye kya likkha hai aapney?...bahot hi saach likha hai aapney meri saamj ke talhike se...mai humesha kehti hu... L-ake of Tears O-cean of Sorrow V-alley of Death E-nd of Life all='s LOVE! didi i loved ur work. aapki apni, Maan! |
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(#18)
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1st April 2006, 08:43 AM
Raat Khuwabon Mai Saath-Saath Bitee
Neend Tooti Phir Wahi Sahar Tanha............. wow shrdh...........bahut khub likhti ho......... Umeed K Diye Jalaye Raah Mai Kaee Na Loute Wo Louti Hamari Nazar Tanha bahut sundar gahare ahasas se bahri hui yeh gazal tareef ke kabil hai............. with love and best wishes ranju |
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Re: Super |
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(#19)
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Re: Super -
1st April 2006, 05:09 PM
Quote:
aapko pasand aayi aur aapne to bahut dil kholkar no. de diye hai ye meri koshish hai aur main seekh rahi hoon umeed hai kuch aur behatar kar paaungi hosla afzaeee ka sukriya keep coming shrdh
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(#20)
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1st April 2006, 05:14 PM
Quote:
aap hamesha hi mera housla badhate rahe hain aapke saath mere liye bhaut mayne rakhta hai .aapne padha aur saraha dil se aapki aabhari hoon haan aap sahi kahe rahe hain ye tanha aur ye gazal ka safar aadha sa hi lag raha hai kafi kuch kahna hai par bus chup rahna bhi achha hi hai aur tanhaae zuban deti hai bus kabhi kabhi aap apna khyaal rakhiyega aapki shrdh
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Re: Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) |
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(#21)
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Re: Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) -
1st April 2006, 05:17 PM
Quote:
aapke tarriif karne ka andaz hume pasand aaya uhi aap saath dete rahenege isi umeed mai shrdh
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(#22)
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1st April 2006, 06:40 PM
Shraddha,
Seriously yaar. koshish acchi hai aur ghazal bhi accha hai. main tho kehta hoon shuruwaat itni acchi hain, aur koshish karo i know you will be very successful... Destiny is what you make off, Be the creator of your destiny, For all have the force within.... Regards, Balaji Nagarajan |
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(#23)
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3rd April 2006, 04:33 PM
Quote:
keep coming to encourage me thnx shrdh
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(#24)
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3rd April 2006, 06:59 PM
hi shrdha di
bahut achhi gazal likhi hai aapney pasand aayi har lafz bahut hi khubsurat sa hai kuch lines bahut achhi lagi Jaha.N Mai Doston Ki Kami Na Thi Tum Nahi Saath To Ye Shahar Tanha Umeed K Diye Jalaye Raah Mai Kaee Na Loute Wo Louti Hamari Nazar Tanha Na Dastak De Ab Darwaze Par Koi So Gaye Pi Kar Judaee Ka Zahar Tanha bahut khubsurat hai bye di tc |
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Re: Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) |
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(#25)
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Re: Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) -
4th April 2006, 06:04 PM
Quote:
aapko pasand aayi bhaut achha laga choti si koshish hai meri keep coming to support me ur suport is very important fo rme love u ur di
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Re: wah |
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(#26)
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Re: wah -
4th April 2006, 06:05 PM
Quote:
jab bhi aap taarif karte hai hum sirf smile karte hai aur kya kren batayen shrdh
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(#27)
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4th April 2006, 06:11 PM
Quote:
aapne aakar isme jo rang bahre hai achhe lage aate rahna aise hi kabhi kabhi apni roshni k saath love shrdh
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tanha |
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(#28)
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tanha -
4th April 2006, 08:47 PM
Shardhji,
aapki koshish bahut achhii rahii,tanhaii ko bahut sulje aalfazon mai bayan kiya hai,aapki gazal padhte muje Minakumariji ki ek gazal yaad aaii........ chand tanha hai aasma tanha dil mila hai kahan kahan tanha, buj gaii aas chhup gaya tara thar tharratta raha dhuaan tanha, zindgii kya iisii ko kehte hai jism tanha hai aur jaan tanha, jalti bujti roshnii ke pare simta simta sa ek makan tanha, raah dekhaa karegaa,sadiiyon tak chhod jaayenge ye jahaan tanha. likhte rahiyega........... |
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(#29)
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5th April 2006, 12:22 AM
shradha dd
bahut khoob likha hai ..... yun hi likhte rahiye bye TC Honth Kaape Magar Koi Baat Na Ho Saki, Meri Khamosh Nigahen Har Baat Keh Gayi, Aur Unko Shikayat Hai Ki Baat Na Ho Saki.... (nm) *(`'·.¸(`'·.¸*¤*¸.·'´)¸.·'´)* .....«´¨`·..ASHU...·´¨`»...... *(¸.·'´(¸.·'´*¤*`'·.¸)`'·.¸)* ------------------------------------------------ |
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(#30)
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~$uper M0der@tor~
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5th April 2006, 10:57 AM
dd aap ki aaj ki ghazal me aaj koi alag baat thi aisa laga ki shaad ke alfaaz aap ki zabaan se nikal rahe hain.aaj ki aap ki thinking bilkul mere jazbaton se match kar rahe the aisa laga meri condition par banaya gaya ho.alfaaz bhi bahot behtareen use kiye hain aaj tak ki aap ki sabhi gazal waise apne aap me poori hain par ek gustakhi kar raha hoon jo baaki se ise best ki upadhi de raha hoon.sach its simply d best one.keep posting dd
shaad |
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Khus Hue Hum |
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(#31)
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Khus Hue Hum -
5th April 2006, 11:20 AM
Sharddh aap ne bhoot acha likha hai lakin aap ko maine note kiya hai ki aap jab bhi likhti hai aap dard bhara hi likhti hai kya koi baat hai aap ko kisi ne dard diya, kuch to bato apne bare main ki mujhe pata chale kam se kam ki aap ki shayri main itna dard kyo hota hai
but i like ur kavita Thank you very much bahoot acha laga pad ker but plz. tell me ok by take care isi tarha likhte rahiye |
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(#32)
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5th April 2006, 12:52 PM
Oh !!!!! it's really cool !!!
"Umeed K Diye Jalaye Raah Mai Kaee Na Loute Wo Louti Hamari Nazar Tanha " just beauty Shraddha !!! lekin hamari nazar tanha nahi lauti, jis ummid ke saath mai aapki gazal/shyari padney gaya tha, us se kahin jayada mujhe mila. its really nice, har sabd , har pankti ek dusrey se bandhi hai, achchha taal mail hai sabdo or panktyuonn ka !! Thanks Shraddha !! Rohit Sinha here |
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Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) |
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(#33)
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ek shoonya
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Re: Zindgi Ka Safar Tanha (gazal Mai Meri Ek Aur Koshish) -
5th April 2006, 01:01 PM
Quote:
Aapko mera namaskaar Aapki likhit ghazal parhi tow sach mein bahaut khoobsurat lagi. Der mein parhney ke liye muaafi chahunga. Sada yunhi likhtey rahiye aur hume paraahtey aur sikhaatey rahiye. aapka dhanyavaad vipin 
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