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KUCCH KAMI SI HAI..par kyaa or kahan?? |
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KUCCH KAMI SI HAI..par kyaa or kahan?? -
11th March 2006, 12:36 PM
old poem with corrections..................(phir bhi kutch kami si hai )
1...........old one......... Gam-e-gardish-e-ayyaam bas itni si hai Ek baar toh dekh loon aapko aankho se Gam-e-getii bas itni si hai Ek baar toh choo loo aapko haatho se Gam-e-hastii bas itni si hai Ek baar tum bhi kaho ki pyaar hai mujh se Gam-e-hayaat bas itni si hai Ek baar toh aap bhi dekho mujhe pyaar se Gam-e-jahaan bas itni si hai Ek baar toh milne aao apni khushi se Gam-e-roz-gaar bas itni si hai Kutch pal toh aapka mile aapke zindagi se Gam-e-zamaanaa bas itni si hai Ek baar toh pukaaro mujhko apne jubaan se Gardish-e-dauran bas itni si hai .. 2........new one .............. Gam-e-gardish-e-ayyaam bas itni si hai Ek baar toh dekh loon aapko______apne ___ _aankho se Gam-e-getii bas itni si hai Ek baar toh choo loo aapko______apne ______haatho se Gam-e-hastii bas itni si hai Ek baar toh pyaar hai kehdo_____apne _____hontho se Gam-e-hayaat bas itni si hai Ek baar toh pyaar se dekho__ ____apne______nayno se Gam-e-zamaanaa bas itni si hai Ek baar toh mujhko pukaaro __ ___apne _____jubaan se Gam-e-jahaan bas itni si hai Ek baar toh milne aao ___________apni _____khushi se Gam-e-roz-gaar bas itni si hai Kutch pal toh mile MUJHKO __ ___aapki ____ zindagi se Gardish-e-dauran bas itni si hai kab lout ke aaoge_____________apni _____mehfil se Urdu: Gam-e-gardish-e-ayyaam English: Sorrow Of Everyday Life Hindi: . Urdu: Gam-e-getii English: Sorrows Of Life Hindi: . Urdu: Gam-e-hastii English: Sorrows Of Life Hindi: . Urdu: Gam-e-hayaat English: Sorrows Of Life Hindi: . Urdu: Gam-e-jahaan English: Sorrow Of Life Hindi: . Urdu: Gam-e-roz-gaar English: Sorrow Of Life Hindi: . Urdu: Gam-e-zamaanaa English: Sorrow Of Life Hindi: . Urdu: Gardish-e-dauran English: Ups And Downs Of Life Hindi: . (sikhne ki chaah ..............ek koshish ........or kutch nahi .........) .  . Bada hua to kya hua jaisay paid khajoor, Panthi ko chhaya nahin, phal laagen ati door. Nahaye dhoye kya bhala jo man ka mail na jaay Meen sada jal mein rahe par tan ki baas na jaay Akath Kahani Prem Ki, Kutch Kahi Na Jaye Goonge Keri Sarkara, Baithe Muskae .................................bye and tc .................. |
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11th March 2006, 01:06 PM
1.........OLD ONE .............
Hai sab-kucch zindagi me par kucch kami si haii Rukaa rukaa sa mera din, aur raat thhami si haii==NM Bewajeh gham ko paalein aisi to aadat nahi aarzoo teri jo utari, aankhon mein nami si haii==NM zindagi TERE bin adhoori hin nahi aasoon bhi AANKHO MAIN kutchH rukii sii hai Qismat se lad sakkoo itna aasAan bhi nahi khuda ne ki mere sang kutch dillagi sii haii zindagi tere binn kat bhi jaati magar aankho main _tere khwaab ki roshni sii haii TUJHE PAANE KI CHAAH NE ITNA RULAAYA HAII TANHA HOON AUR ZINDAGI KUTCH PHEEKII SII HAI HAI NIYAM KE KHILAAF TERA NAAM LENA BHII YE NIYAM BHI MERE LIYE ZULMII SII HAII TUM na ho paaye mere toh kya TUMSE milna bhii _ Maal-e-bandagii SII HAII .2.........NEW ONE..................... Hai sab-kucch jeevan main par kucch kamii sii haii Rukee rukee se mere din, aur raat thamii sii haii==NM Hai roshni meri jeevan main par kucch albelii sii haii Sooni sooni sii meri aankhain, aur aansoo jamii sii haii Hai uska saath jeevan main par kucch dilllagii sii haii Bujha bujha saa uska pyaar, aur nafrat gulaamii sii hai Hai kitne rang jeevan main par kucch phikii sii haii Sehmii sehmii sii merii khushiyan, aur qismat bedamii sii haii Hai kitne rishte jeevan main par kucch aznabii sii haii Tanha tanha sii meri zindagi, aur mout berahamii sii haii . . Bada hua to kya hua jaisay paid khajoor, Panthi ko chhaya nahin, phal laagen ati door. Nahaye dhoye kya bhala jo man ka mail na jaay Meen sada jal mein rahe par tan ki baas na jaay Akath Kahani Prem Ki, Kutch Kahi Na Jaye Goonge Keri Sarkara, Baithe Muskae .................................bye and tc .................. |
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11th March 2006, 01:52 PM
1...old one.......
Dil-e-hasarat-nasiib bas nazar bhar dekhne ki Ek wo hain jo aankhe churaaya karte hain Lamhaat e-yaad e-yaar yaad bahut aata hai Ek wo hain jo khwaabon se bhi katraate hain Mere nas nas main wo aise samaaye hain Ek wo hain jo naam lene se bhi ghbraate hain Meri zindagi unse hin shuru unpe hin khtam hoti hai Ek wo hain jo sangdili ka rukh apnaate hain Ek hin vaade pe toh meri khushiyono ki buniyaad thi Ek wo hain jo uss vade ko todne ki baat kehte hain Zindagi kat hin jaati bas ek unke naam ke sahaare Ek wo hain jo naam bhool jaane ka vaada lete hain 2......new one ... Dil-e-hasarat-nasiib bas nazar bhar dekhne ki Ek wo hain jo aankhe churaaya karte hain Lamhaat e-yaad e-yaar yaad bahut aata hai Ek wo hain jo khwaabon se bhi katraate hain Raahat-e-jaan bankar Mere nas nas main wo samaaye hain Ek wo hain jo naam lene se bhi ghbraate hain Afasaanaa-e-hastii unse hin shuru unpe hin khtam hoti hai Ek wo hain jo sangdili ka rukh apnaate hain Ek hin vaade pe toh meri Irtiqaa-e-zindagii ki buniyaad thi Ek wo hain jo vade ko todne ki baat kehte hain Fursat-e-hastee kat hin jaati ek unke naam ke sahaare Ek wo hain jo bhool jaane ka vaada lete hain . . Bada hua to kya hua jaisay paid khajoor, Panthi ko chhaya nahin, phal laagen ati door. Nahaye dhoye kya bhala jo man ka mail na jaay Meen sada jal mein rahe par tan ki baas na jaay Akath Kahani Prem Ki, Kutch Kahi Na Jaye Goonge Keri Sarkara, Baithe Muskae .................................bye and tc .................. |
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11th March 2006, 11:29 PM
agar aapki ijaazat ho to kya mai kuch aise cheezen likh sakta hun jo mujhe kamiyon jaisi lagi.maine aapse ijaazat isliye maangi kyunki kai baar kuch likhi baatein dil ke itna karib hoti hai ke hum unme kuch bhi badalna nahi chahte.
aapke jawaab ke intzaar mei GKS |
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12th March 2006, 09:08 AM
Quote:
v true ...kaii baar likhne waala jo soch kar shabdon ko baandhta hai usske peeche kooi na kooi wazah hoti hai ............. par yahan par mere dono edited poem se bhi mujhe kaii jagah aisa lag raha ki nahi yahan pe aisa nahi waisa hona chaahiye ........ u most welcome ..............aapko jahan bhi lage aap edit kijiye ho sakta hai aapka edit kiya huaa mujhe pasand aaye yaa na bhi aaye phir .bhi..........ek dusre ko tips dena kooi buri baat nahi ......... or issi tarah baaki log bhi apne poems likhte waqt kaii baaton ka khyaal rakh paayegain ...................coz jarori hai kooi aapko do shabd pyaar ke saath aapko or aage jaane ke liye aapke galtiyouno ko pyaar se bata jaaye na ki ..................galat way main aapko aisa chot de ki aap likhna hin band kar do ........... coz sabhi yahan sikh hin rahe hain kooi perfect nahi hai........... or ek sabse badi baat ki mujhe urdu nahi aati maine abhi shuruaat hin ki hai toh shayad urdu words ko use karna mujhe nahi aaya ho ...........maine toh bas dictionary se words meaning dekh usse use kiya hai .......................or abhi keval sikh hin rahi hoon toh jyaada se jyaada words use kar urdu words ko pehchaanne ke liye aisa kar rahi hoon ..................abhi toh target yahi hai ki urdu words ko jaanu aur poems ke rules ko follow karoon .............................. .................................................. .............u most wellcome........ .................................................. ..........................................thanksss ! . . Bada hua to kya hua jaisay paid khajoor, Panthi ko chhaya nahin, phal laagen ati door. Nahaye dhoye kya bhala jo man ka mail na jaay Meen sada jal mein rahe par tan ki baas na jaay Akath Kahani Prem Ki, Kutch Kahi Na Jaye Goonge Keri Sarkara, Baithe Muskae .................................bye and tc .................. |
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14th March 2006, 07:40 PM
hello Chaand ji,
jaisa ke maine kahaa tha mujhe jo kamiyaan lagegi unhe mai aapko bataoonga to aaj mai haazir hun. aapki pehli kavita mein aapne ek taraff to urdu ke chuninda shabdon ka prayog kiya hai par unhi sheron ke ant mein aapne hindi ke shabdo ka prayog karke acha nahi kiya,agar aap urdu ke hi lafzo ka prayog karti to achaa rehta. jaise aankhon ki jagah nazaron,pyaar ki jagah mohabbat,hontho ki jagah labon etc etc.par haan gum ki itni variety hoti hai yeh humein aapne bataaya.bahut bahut dhanyavaad 2nd one Hai sab-kucch jeevan main par "kahin"kucch kamii sii haii Rukee rukee se mere din, aur raat thamii sii haii==N "kahin" maine add kiya hai aur is sher mein contrast hai "sab kuch " and kamii mein par doosre aur teesre sheron mein kahin yeh element nazar nahi aaya jaise Hai roshni meri jeevan main par kucch albelii sii haii ab ise mai kuch is tarah byaan karta Hai "roshni" meri jeevan main par kahin kuch "andhera" saa hai haalanki aapka rhyme "sii hai" chahta hai to iske baare mein aap khud sochiye. aansu jamii si hai yeh baat kuch jamii nahi agar aansu jamein se hai tab to thik lagta par aansu jamii sii hai lag raha hai jabardasti lagaaya gayaa hairhyme karne ke liye. 3rd one)iske liye bhi mai wahi advice doonga ke aapne urdu ke shabdon ke saath hindi ke shabdon ka prayog kiya hai jabki aap yahan par urdu ke shabd istemaal kar sakti hai abhi ke liye itna hi kar raha hun,mujhe darr hai kahin aap khafaa na ho .agar kabhi kuch aur mujhe dikha to zaroor bataoonga. aur waise bhi abhi tabiyat kuch nasaaz hai AAKHIR MEIN EK REQUEST apni rachnaon ko bright colours mein na likhe padhne mein bahut dikkat hoti hai aur acha bhi nahi lagta. Dard ab bhi wahi hai Waqt shayad badal gaya hai Meri shakhshiyat ab bhi wahi hai. GKS |
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16th March 2006, 11:57 PM
Quote:
thanks for coming .................or aab ki baar mail kijiyega ......... ..................................thanks a lot for everything ....................... . Bada hua to kya hua jaisay paid khajoor, Panthi ko chhaya nahin, phal laagen ati door. Nahaye dhoye kya bhala jo man ka mail na jaay Meen sada jal mein rahe par tan ki baas na jaay Akath Kahani Prem Ki, Kutch Kahi Na Jaye Goonge Keri Sarkara, Baithe Muskae .................................bye and tc .................. |
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24th March 2006, 09:13 AM
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har Khushii me.n koii kamii sii hai .................................................. ................Javed Akhtar .har Khushii me.n koii kamii sii hai ha.Nsatii aa.Nkho.n me.n bhii namii sii hai din bhii chup chaap sar jhukaaye thaa raat kii nafz bhii thamii sii hai kisako samajhaaye.N kisakii baat nahii.n zahan aur dil me.n phir Thanii sii hai Khvaab thaa yaa Gubaar thaa koii gard in palako.n pe jamii sii hai kah gae ham kisase dil kii baat shahar me.n ek sanasanii sii hai hasarate.n raakh ho gaii.n lekin aag ab bhii kahii.n dabii sii hai bholo raam ne do line likh kar meri neende udaa di thi ..............kaash pehle main iss poem ko padhi hoti tho .........kafiya main thoda sa help mil hin jaata ...........khair ..............................................achc ha hin huaa coz wahin se maine apni galtiyouno pe dhyaandena denashuru kiya ....................thanks bholo raam ..............just kidding ...... . Bada hua to kya hua jaisay paid khajoor, Panthi ko chhaya nahin, phal laagen ati door. Nahaye dhoye kya bhala jo man ka mail na jaay Meen sada jal mein rahe par tan ki baas na jaay Akath Kahani Prem Ki, Kutch Kahi Na Jaye Goonge Keri Sarkara, Baithe Muskae .................................bye and tc .................. |
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27th March 2006, 01:57 AM
are to ab humaara naam bhi badal diyaa,bholu raam.
khair koi baat nahi aap badhi hai ,haq banta hai aapka(dialogue courtesy from kabhi khushi kabhi gum) kuch din tak mai naaraaz tha aapki baat se par aaj nahi hun isliye yahan likh rahaa hun aaj.kuch wakt lagta hai gusse se jeet paane mein , jise jitna kam wakt lage wo utna hi akalmand. mai itna akalmand nahi isilye kuch wakt lagaa. abhi chalta hun kuch aur khaas kehne ko nahi.baad mein milte hai GKS woh log ab milte nahi jo raah-ae- wafaa pe nikale the khushi dhoondne |
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28th March 2006, 10:22 AM
Quote:
. bholo raam ==means ==bhola bhala insaan ............. aapki naraazgi door huii .............ye jaankar khushi huii .............. aapse pm main jitna baat huii uss se pata chala ki aap ek suljhe huye insaan ho..............achcha laga aapko jaan kar ......... kaii baar aisa hota hai ..........ki aap kehna kutch chaahte ho log sajh kutch aur jaate hain ..................abb issmain kehne waali ki kooi galti nahi agar aapne usse thik se nahi samjha ...........issliye usse pooch lena jyaada achcha hota hai ki aap kehna kya chahte the ..........aisa karne se ek dusre ke baaton ko hum samjh paate hain ...................... . abb aap dhyaan se padhna iss poem ko ...............isse javed ji ne likha hai ...................... har Khushii me.n koii kamii sii hai .................................................. ................Javed Akhtar .har Khushii me.n koii kamii sii hai ha.Nsatii aa.Nkho.n me.n bhii namii sii hai din bhii chup chaap sar jhukaaye thaa raat kii nafz bhii thamii sii hai kisako samajhaaye.N kisakii baat nahii.n zahan aur dil me.n phir Thanii sii hai Khvaab thaa yaa Gubaar thaa koii gard in palako.n pe jamii sii hai kah gae ham kisase dil kii baat shahar me.n ek sanasanii sii hai hasarate.n raakh ho gaii.n lekin aag ab bhii kahii.n dabii sii hai abb baataiye ki yahan jamii ka matlab kya hai ...........sach kahoon likhte waqt main bhi yahi sochi thi kahin log isse jameen na samjh baithain................................ so=== jamii and jameen/jamiin main ===farq hai .hai na ? jaise kitaabo ke upar kitni dhool jamm gayi hai .....jamii huii hai bas aapko reply dene ke liye hin aai thi ....................... .............................................aab phir kutch poochna ya kehna ho pm kijiyega ....................main yahan likhi taaki wo TOPIC clear ho ..............jamii or jameen waali baat ............... ...................................BYE AND TC ........................................ . . Bada hua to kya hua jaisay paid khajoor, Panthi ko chhaya nahin, phal laagen ati door. Nahaye dhoye kya bhala jo man ka mail na jaay Meen sada jal mein rahe par tan ki baas na jaay Akath Kahani Prem Ki, Kutch Kahi Na Jaye Goonge Keri Sarkara, Baithe Muskae .................................bye and tc .................. |
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Re: KUCCH KAMI SI HAI..par kyaa or kahan?? |
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Re: KUCCH KAMI SI HAI..par kyaa or kahan?? -
28th March 2006, 04:34 PM
kaha kami si hai aap hi bata dijiye
main to khud bachha hu kya jaanu kami kaha hai Hindi urdu ka bohat acha prayog aapki in rachano mein dekhar khushi hui mehfil sajati rahiye Diggaj  Quote:
kabhi humne yu khud ko harata naa dekha Kaise Samjhau Dil-e-hasarat-nasiib Ko Apne K Sab Kuch Milta Nahi Chah Lene Se Ish Zamane Mein..... "Diggaj" |
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Re: Re: KUCCH KAMI SI HAI..par kyaa or kahan?? |
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Re: Re: KUCCH KAMI SI HAI..par kyaa or kahan?? -
29th March 2006, 12:37 PM
Quote:
Diggaj ji and GKS JI ............................ ...........................................KYA AAB YE POEM THIK HO GAYI HAI ? Gam-e-gardish-e-ayyaam bas itnii sii haii Ek dafaa toh deed karoon _apne aankhoN see Gam-e-getii bas itnii sii haii Ek dafaa choo loo aapko _apne haathoN see Gam-e-hastii bas itnii sii haii Ek dafaa ilfat hai kaho _ apne labooN see Gam-e-hayaat bas itnii sii haii Ek dafaa laag se dekho _ apne naynoN see Gam-e-zamaanaa bas itnii sii haii Ek dafaa sada do mujhko_ apne lughatoN see Gam-e-jahaan bas itnii sii haii Ek dafaa mulaaqaat karo _apne be-gamoN see Gam-e-roz-gaar bas itnii sii haii ek mousam toh mile mujko _aapke ayyaamoN see Gardish-e-dauran bas itnii sii haii ek dafa toh aao _apnii bazm-e-kushaaoN see ..........................THIK KIJIYE JAHAN BHI GALTI HUII HAI ....IF U CAN ............... .....................................BYE AND TC ..................... . . Bada hua to kya hua jaisay paid khajoor, Panthi ko chhaya nahin, phal laagen ati door. Nahaye dhoye kya bhala jo man ka mail na jaay Meen sada jal mein rahe par tan ki baas na jaay Akath Kahani Prem Ki, Kutch Kahi Na Jaye Goonge Keri Sarkara, Baithe Muskae .................................bye and tc .................. |
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Re: Re: Re: KUCCH KAMI SI HAI..par kyaa or kahan?? |
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Re: Re: Re: KUCCH KAMI SI HAI..par kyaa or kahan?? -
29th March 2006, 08:06 PM
Quote:
. Bada hua to kya hua jaisay paid khajoor, Panthi ko chhaya nahin, phal laagen ati door. Nahaye dhoye kya bhala jo man ka mail na jaay Meen sada jal mein rahe par tan ki baas na jaay Akath Kahani Prem Ki, Kutch Kahi Na Jaye Goonge Keri Sarkara, Baithe Muskae .................................bye and tc .................. |
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