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Member
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khwahishoN ke fansale -
22nd February 2015, 08:13 PM
KhwahishoN ke faansale bhi ajeeb hote haiN,
Puri ho hasrateiN jinki khushnaseeb hote haiN
ChahtoN ke sang jab bhi shareek hote haiN ,
Dil ke dharkon ke vo bilkul kareeb hote haiN
Chahne wale hi tau sab ke habeeb hote haiN,
Door kitne bhi rahein Dil ke kareeb hote haiN
Lut gaya pyar jinka vo badnaseeb hote haiN ,
Zamane ke shah bhi dil ke faqeer hote haiN.
Waqt pe jo sath nibhaye kitne azeez hote haiN,
Wada kar ke mukar jayeiN raqueeb hote haiN.
Tere saath jo guzre vo lamhe haseen hote haiN,
Bin tere zinagee ke mayne betaseer hote haiN
khone Pane ki daur mein yun uljha hai har bashar ,
Isee kashmeqash mein kat raha Zindagee ka safar.
Last edited by Hamdam; 22nd February 2015 at 08:18 PM..
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~$uper M0der@tor~
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Rep Power: 61
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22nd February 2015, 09:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hamdam
KhwahishoN ke faansale bhi ajeeb hote haiN,
Puri ho hasrateiN jinki khushnaseeb hote haiN
ChahtoN ke sang jab bhi shareek hote haiN ,
Dil ke dharkon ke vo bilkul kareeb hote haiN
Chahne wale hi tau sab ke habeeb hote haiN,
Door kitne bhi rahein Dil ke kareeb hote haiN
Lut gaya pyar jinka vo badnaseeb hote haiN ,
Zamane ke shah bhi dil ke faqeer hote haiN.
Waqt pe jo sath nibhaye kitne azeez hote haiN,
Wada kar ke mukar jayeiN raqueeb hote haiN.
Tere saath jo guzre vo lamhe haseen hote haiN,
Bin tere zinagee ke mayne betaseer hote haiN
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waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh kyaa baat hai Sanjay saahab.......
ummdah adaakaarii ka namunaa peesh kiyaa hai aapne..... bahot anchue se lage aapke ye ehsaaas, bilkul oven fresh..........
bahot si Daad aur mubaarakbaad aapko.... likhte rahiyegaa
last aur third last sher me qaafiyaa sudhaaar len.......
Shaad....
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Registered User
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Location: Jammu, J&K.
Rep Power: 14
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22nd February 2015, 10:09 PM
Kya baat hai jenaab.
Behadd khoobsurat peshkash.
Likhte raheiN
Sagar Aashna
****************
Qaul thae ke 'Sagar' milengae kal magar
Taareeki musalsal hai, savera nahii hota
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Moderator
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Mumbai
Rep Power: 38
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23rd February 2015, 02:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hamdam
KhwahishoN ke faansale bhi ajeeb hote haiN,
Puri ho hasrateiN jinki khushnaseeb hote haiN
ChahtoN ke sang jab bhi shareek hote haiN ,
Dil ke dharkon ke vo bilkul kareeb hote haiN
Chahne wale hi tau sab ke habeeb hote haiN,
Door kitne bhi rahein Dil ke kareeb hote haiN
Lut gaya pyar jinka vo badnaseeb hote haiN ,
Zamane ke shah bhi dil ke faqeer hote haiN.
Waqt pe jo sath nibhaye kitne azeez hote haiN,
Wada kar ke mukar jayeiN raqueeb hote haiN.
Tere saath jo guzre vo lamhe haseen hote haiN,
Bin tere zinagee ke mayne betaseer hote haiN
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Waaah.................Sanjay ji
kamaal ki rahi aapki se khubsoorat peshkash. simply loved it..........
isi tarah likhte rahiye...
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Member
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Location: Delhi .. ovalswitches@gmail.com
Rep Power: 26
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28th February 2015, 08:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad'
waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh kyaa baat hai Sanjay saahab.......
ummdah adaakaarii ka namunaa peesh kiyaa hai aapne..... bahot anchue se lage aapke ye ehsaaas, bilkul oven fresh..........
bahot si Daad aur mubaarakbaad aapko.... likhte rahiyegaa
last aur third last sher me qaafiyaa sudhaaar len.......
Shaad....
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Shukriya Shoaib bhai ghazal pasand karne ka ..Rahi.qafiye ki baat
do.asharoN meiN , mujhe galti maalum thi likte hue , per kya karun
koi theek shabs soojha nahiN ..Aap ka tahe dil se mashkoor hoon ki
aap itni bareeki se her ashar ko perte haiM aur errors point karte
haiN.
Regds
Sanjay Sehgal
khone Pane ki daur mein yun uljha hai har bashar ,
Isee kashmeqash mein kat raha Zindagee ka safar.
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Location: Mumbai
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1st March 2015, 01:17 AM
Sanjay ji
Namaste
Shaad ji ka sujhav pada maine. Halanki bohut kam janti hun main aap sab ke muqabley. Magar khud bhi seekne ki chah mein ek sujhaav dene ki jurrat kar rahi hun. Kyun na 4 sher mein aap fakeer aur badnaseeb ko inter change kar dekhein? Aur last wale mein 'ajeeb' ja sakta hai kya?
Koi gustakhi ho gayi ho to choti behn samajh kar maaf kar dena.
Last edited by masti; 1st March 2015 at 01:21 AM..
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Member
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Rep Power: 26
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1st March 2015, 10:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by masti
Sanjay ji
Namaste
Shaad ji ka sujhav pada maine. Halanki bohut kam janti hun main aap sab ke muqabley. Magar khud bhi seekne ki chah mein ek sujhaav dene ki jurrat kar rahi hun. Kyun na 4 sher mein aap fakeer aur badnaseeb ko inter change kar dekhein? Aur last wale mein 'ajeeb' ja sakta hai kya?
Koi gustakhi ho gayi ho to choti behn samajh kar maaf kar dena.
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Bhai Choti behn ne sujhav diya hai tau gaur karna parega
Last line mein tau ajeeb chal jayega , Per sher no 4 mein adla badli faqeer aur badnaseev se qafiya tau durust ho jayega , per sher ke sahi mayne convey nahin ho payeinge....
Regds
Sanjay Sehgal
khone Pane ki daur mein yun uljha hai har bashar ,
Isee kashmeqash mein kat raha Zindagee ka safar.
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Registered User
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Location: karachi
Rep Power: 31
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2nd March 2015, 12:28 AM
wahhh boahat khoob aik aik sher bht acha likha hai
Waqt ke jisam ki kharash hoon main
apne ander se pash pash hoon main
zaaat hai aetbaar e zaaat nahin
ab to main khud bhi apne saath nahin
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Moderator
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Rep Power: 28
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2nd March 2015, 08:29 AM
Waaah....
Bahut khoob sanjay jee.bahut gahare ehsaas liye huye ye kalaam bahut pasand aaya hamein...
अर्ज मेरी एे खुदा क्या सुन सकेगा तू कभी
आसमां को बस इसी इक आस में तकते रहे
madhu..
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Member
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Rep Power: 26
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4th March 2015, 08:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by koi to ho
wahhh boahat khoob aik aik sher bht acha likha hai
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Bahut bahut shukriya Mani ji .. Apko yahan dekh kar bahut kushi huyee.. Aap jaise purane members se association achi lagti hai.. Nayee peeri ke shayars ke liye seniors ki haunsal wazayi bahut mayne rakhti hai..
Sanjay Sehgal
khone Pane ki daur mein yun uljha hai har bashar ,
Isee kashmeqash mein kat raha Zindagee ka safar.
Last edited by Hamdam; 4th March 2015 at 08:47 PM..
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~$uper M0der@tor~
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Rep Power: 61
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5th March 2015, 09:49 AM
Sannjay saahab... aadaab.... aapka khat padhaa aur sarikhaa ji ka khat bhii padhaa....
bahot khushi huiii ye dekh kar ke bazm me aap log jaise saada dil insaan bhii hain jo seekhne sikhaane ki chaha rakhte hain.......
jee haan aapne ssahii kaha ke main bahot bareekii se padhtaa hoon, har kavitaa ko har koshihs ko magar point out sirf unhe hi karta hoon jo seekhne ki chaah rakhte hon, jinke uupar mujhe bharosa hai ke wo merii baaton ko anyathaa na lete hue.. un bareeki aur choti choti mmistakes ko door karen, jiski wajah se nishaandehii paidaa ho....
Ghazal likhne me kai shaayr mahiino tak ka waqt lete they, isliye ke koi nuqtaa baraabar ki galtiii ki gunjaaish paiaa na ho.... halaki ham sab bahot jaldi me likhaa karte hain, lekin koshish ye karna chahiye ke baareeekiyon ko door kar ekdam perfect kalaam jab taiyaar ho jaae shaayr ki nazar me, to pesh kar de........
Sarika ji ka bhi main behad shukrguzaar hoon jo aapne apne sujhaav diye jo kaafii had tak durust hain qaafiya ke lihaaz se, magar shaayar ko aazaadii hai ke wo inhe kaise istemal karta hai...... ya nahii bhii.....
koi baat nagawaara guzaree ho to muaazrat chahungaa....
aapka chota bhai
Shaad.....
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Member
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Location: Delhi .. ovalswitches@gmail.com
Rep Power: 26
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5th March 2015, 05:39 PM
Sameer bhai ..pehle tau aap ka shukriya jo.aap humei guide karte haiN.
Mujhe yaqeenan bahut khushi hoti hai is baat se ki aap apna keemti samay
nikal ke humhe samjhate haiN ..
Aap ka sujhav ki ghazal pesh karne se pehle use
khoob ghis lo , refine karo, galtiyan check.karo aur tab post.karo , main is cheez ka
bilkul khayal rakhunga.
Thanks once again .
Sanjay Sehgal
khone Pane ki daur mein yun uljha hai har bashar ,
Isee kashmeqash mein kat raha Zindagee ka safar.
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Main shayar to nahin.....
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: kanpur
Rep Power: 50
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16th March 2015, 04:48 PM
sanjay jee ehsaas bahut acche lage muje....par sshoiab jee ka kehna sahi hai....
एक हाथ में दिल उनके एक हाथ में खंजर था
चेहरे पे दोस्त का मुखौटा अजीब सा मंजर था
Arvind Saxena
Ph. No. 7905856220
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16th March 2015, 07:36 PM
WAH HAMDAM SAHAB AAP KA TO JAWAB NAHI,, WAHhhhhhhhhhhh
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Member
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19th March 2015, 08:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Madhu 14
Waaah....
Bahut khoob sanjay jee.bahut gahare ehsaas liye huye ye kalaam bahut pasand aaya hamein...
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Madhu ji aapko ehsaasat pasand aye , jankar ker bahut khushim hui ..
YuN hi haunsala badate raheiN .
Sanjay Sehgal
khone Pane ki daur mein yun uljha hai har bashar ,
Isee kashmeqash mein kat raha Zindagee ka safar.
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Member
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Location: Delhi .. ovalswitches@gmail.com
Rep Power: 26
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19th March 2015, 08:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aru
sanjay jee ehsaas bahut acche lage muje....par sshoiab jee ka kehna sahi hai....
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Aru bhai aap ki anukampa ke liye shukriya ..
Sanjay Sehgal
khone Pane ki daur mein yun uljha hai har bashar ,
Isee kashmeqash mein kat raha Zindagee ka safar.
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20th March 2015, 06:31 PM
Kya likhte hain aap Sehgal Sahab....waaaaah...aaj bohot dino baad aana hua SDC par aur aap ke es kalam ne dil khush kar diya....
Bohot bohot mubarak aur dheroon daad
Aapka apna
Bhushan
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Member
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Location: Delhi .. ovalswitches@gmail.com
Rep Power: 26
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20th March 2015, 10:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bhushan
Kya likhte hain aap Sehgal Sahab....waaaaah...aaj bohot dino baad aana hua SDC par aur aap ke es kalam ne dil khush kar diya....
Bohot bohot mubarak aur dheroon daad
Aapka apna
Bhushan
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Bhushan bhai ,
Shukriya .. Main kuch dino se aapko yaad ker raha tha ki aaj kal Bhushan nazar nahiN aa raha aur Jagdish ji(Sagar Asthana) bhi kum dikhte hain yahan..
Bhai aap jaise naujwan kuch chehalkadmiN karte rahenge tau mehfil meiN raunak berkaraar rahegi.
Sanjay Sehgal
khone Pane ki daur mein yun uljha hai har bashar ,
Isee kashmeqash mein kat raha Zindagee ka safar.
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