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naaz se ek din jiye hote - ghazal
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muKhlis
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naaz se ek din jiye hote - ghazal - 8th April 2008, 09:45 AM
adab/salam/namaste

kese hen ap log? ummid he thik honge. men aj apni ek gahzal asan urdu men ap sab ke sath share karna chahta hun. ummid karta hun k agar achhi nahin lagi to kam az kam buri bhi nahin lagegi. apki ara ka shiddat se intizar rahega. shukrya.

ghazal

 chaar din aor gar jiye hote
kia hua ham se, kia kiye hote?

umr bhar be-niyaaz jeene se
naaz se ek din jiye hote!

aap banda-navaaz kia ho.nge
gham ki rudaad sun liye hote

aor ham gham-naseeb kia maa.nge.n
kaash ki tum mere liye hote

vo jo palko.n se gir ke toot gaye
vo sitaare chhupa liye hote!

ham saza-vaar-e-sang the, ae dost!
kuchh to ham par karam kiye hote

jal rahe the charaagh aa.nkho.n me.n
raat raushan thi, aa liye hote!

aap pemaa.n-shikan rahe, varna
kis tamanna se ham jiye hote

sang-rezon me.n the gohar :muKHlis:
apne daman me.n bhar liye hote
   
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Mayank
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8th April 2008, 06:48 PM




muKhlis saahab,

namaste:

ek mushkil zamiin par bohat khuub-suurat Ghazal aap ne ataa kee hai.. is ke liye main aap ko dili-daad deta huu.n.
Quote:
chaar din aor gar jiye hote
kia hua ham se, kia kiye hote?
khuub-suurat matla, aur Ghazal ka sab se pyaara sher.mujhe behad pasand aaya..daad!

Quote:
umr bhar be-niyaaz jeene se
naaz se ek din jiye hote!
khuub!

Quote:
aap banda-navaaz kia ho.nge
gham ki rudaad sun liye hote
yeh sher ke duusre misre ko ek baar phir se dekhiyegaa.. talafuz me.n thodi si kami mehsuus huii.. ho sakta hai ki mera vaehm ho...

Quote:
aor ham gham-naseeb kia maa.nge.n
kaash ki tum mere liye hote
sach hi farmaaya hai aap ne.. andhaa kyaa maa.nge 2 annkhe.n, khuub-suurat sher.. daad!

Quote:
ham saza-vaar-e-sang the, ae dost!
kuchh to ham par karam kiye hote
mukhlisaana andaaz hai muKhlis saaheb aap ka... sher pasand aaya..

Quote:
jal rahe the charaagh aa.nkho.n me.n
raat raushan thi, aa liye hote!
yeh sher bhii behd-behad pasand aaya hame... khuub suurat ehsaas aur andaaz-e-bayaa.n la-jawaab.. kya baat hai!

Quote:
sang-rezon me.n the gohar :muKHlis:
apne daman me.n bhar liye hote
maqta bhi khuub hai!


muKhlis saahab, ek khuub suurat Ghazal ke liye mere jaanib se daad haaazir hai, qubuul keejiyega.. aur yuu.n hi likhate rahe.n.

Mayank
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MahamAzmi
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10th April 2008, 08:29 AM
aor ham gham-naseeb kia maa.nge.n
kaash ki tum mere liye hote

vo jo palko.n se gir ke toot gaye
vo sitaare chhupa liye hote!

ham saza-vaar-e-sang the, ae dost!
kuchh to ham par karam kiye hote

jal rahe the charaagh aa.nkho.n me.n
raat raushan thi, aa liye hote!

aap pemaa.n-shikan rahe, varna
kis tamanna se ham jiye hote

sang-rezon me.n the gohar :muKHlis:
apne daman me.n bhar liye hote


Adaab arz hei Mukhlis sahab ,

Wah

Dard kabhi yun haseen bhi nazar asakta hei ye tou humara pehla tajurba hei ,

dilki kirchiyon ko ap ne jo lafzon mein dhaal dya , palak se girte ashkon ko acha hoa ke ashaar mein dhaal dya ........bauhat puracar hei apka qalam ,

Maham ki eik burayee hei ke agar koi kalaam pasand nahi ata to hum usko chute nahi hien , kher pasand na anae ki kahan jur'rat o auqaat hamaree ..........magar haan agar dil mein nahi utarta tou hum lafzi / rasmi daad nahi de pate , jhoot nahi bol pate ,

aur agar jo koi sher dil mein jazb ho jaye , ruh pe naqsh ho jaye tou bharupur daad dete hien , ke yehe hamari fitrat hei ........


aur apko is lamhe bharpur daad se navaz rahe hein , buahat hee khub likhte hein ap hazrat , apko mazeed parhne ki mutamani rahe gee Maham ,

Ehsas ki shidaton ke samandar ko yun eik ghazal ke kooze mein muqayad kiya hai ap ne ke seraab ho gayeen basaratain bhi baseeratain bhi ,


Bazm ki raahon mein ap se mazeed mulaqat ki umeed lye ,

Maham Azmi
   
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15th April 2008, 04:23 PM
aap pemaa.n-shikan rahe, varna
kis tamanna se ham jiye hote

Kya baath hai...( ? )

sang-rezon me.n the gohar :muKHlis:
apne daman me.n bhar liye hote

hmmmmmmm..........

If you want ur dreams to cum true...
WAKE UP...!


Love,
SIMRAN
   
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muKhlis
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22nd April 2008, 09:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayank View Post




muKhlis saahab,

namaste:

ek mushkil zamiin par bohat khuub-suurat Ghazal aap ne ataa kee hai.. is ke liye main aap ko dili-daad deta huu.n.


Hausalah afzai ke lie men bait mutashakkir hun apka.

khuub-suurat matla, aur Ghazal ka sab se pyaara sher.mujhe behad pasand aaya..daad!

ittefaqan, mujhe bhi yehi matla behtar laga. shukrya

khuub!

shakran

yeh sher ke duusre misre ko ek baar phir se dekhiyegaa.. talafuz me.n thodi si kami mehsuus huii.. ho sakta hai ki mera vaehm ho...

men ne apki hidayat par dekha aor khasa vichar bhi kiya magar meri samajh men nahin aaya k aap kis lafz ke bare men kah rahe hen. kahin apne "rudaad" lafz ki nishan dehi ki thi? agar yeh lafz hi aapki nazar men thaa to mujhe to nahin lagta aesa ku k dudaad men re, vao, daal, ALIF, daal he hijje aor aise hii men ne barta he is lafz ko. agar aap kuchh raushni dal saken to ain navazish hogi. shukrya. bandha he

sach hi farmaaya hai aap ne.. andhaa kyaa maa.nge 2 annkhe.n, khuub-suurat sher.. daad!

hehehe...sach farmaya aap ne. navazish, karam

mukhlisaana andaaz hai muKhlis saaheb aap ka... sher pasand aaya..

bahot bahot shukrya aapka. mukhlis ka muKhlisana andaz

yeh sher bhii behd-behad pasand aaya hame... khuub suurat ehsaas aur andaaz-e-bayaa.n la-jawaab.. kya baat hai!

mujeh badi khushi hui k apko sher is qadar pasand aya. meri emhnat vasool ho gai thank you!

maqta bhi khuub hai!

ek baar phir se apka shukrya k aapne Hausalah afzai farmai.

muKhlis saahab, ek khuub suurat Ghazal ke liye mere jaanib se daad haaazir hai, qubuul keejiyega.. aur yuu.n hi likhate rahe.n.

shukrya aur koshish apki dua se hoti rahegi

regards
MuKhlis
..........



tu aur aaraa'ish-e-Kham-e-kaakul
maiN aur andesha_haa-e-dur o daraaz
   
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muKhlis
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23rd April 2008, 07:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MahamAzmi View Post
aor ham gham-naseeb kia maa.nge.n
kaash ki tum mere liye hote

vo jo palko.n se gir ke toot gaye
vo sitaare chhupa liye hote!

ham saza-vaar-e-sang the, ae dost!
kuchh to ham par karam kiye hote

jal rahe the charaagh aa.nkho.n me.n
raat raushan thi, aa liye hote!

aap pemaa.n-shikan rahe, varna
kis tamanna se ham jiye hote

sang-rezon me.n the gohar :muKHlis:
apne daman me.n bhar liye hote


Adaab arz hei Mukhlis sahab ,

Wah

Dard kabhi yun haseen bhi nazar asakta hei ye tou humara pehla tajurba hei ,

dilki kirchiyon ko ap ne jo lafzon mein dhaal dya , palak se girte ashkon ko acha hoa ke ashaar mein dhaal dya ........bauhat puracar hei apka qalam ,

Maham ki eik burayee hei ke agar koi kalaam pasand nahi ata to hum usko chute nahi hien , kher pasand na anae ki kahan jur'rat o auqaat hamaree ..........magar haan agar dil mein nahi utarta tou hum lafzi / rasmi daad nahi de pate , jhoot nahi bol pate ,

aur agar jo koi sher dil mein jazb ho jaye , ruh pe naqsh ho jaye tou bharupur daad dete hien , ke yehe hamari fitrat hei ........


aur apko is lamhe bharpur daad se navaz rahe hein , buahat hee khub likhte hein ap hazrat , apko mazeed parhne ki mutamani rahe gee Maham ,

Ehsas ki shidaton ke samandar ko yun eik ghazal ke kooze mein muqayad kiya hai ap ne ke seraab ho gayeen basaratain bhi baseeratain bhi ,


Bazm ki raahon mein ap se mazeed mulaqat ki umeed lye ,

Maham Azmi
huii taaKheer to kuchh baa'is-e-taaKheer bhii thaa
"ham" to aate the magar koii 'unaa-geer bhii thaa

mohtaramah Maham sahiba
aadaab

taaKhir ke sath jawaab-dehi ke liye az teh-e-dil meN ma'zarat-Khaah huN. mu'afi ka talabgar huN. ho sake to meri kotahi ko dar-guzar farmaiyega

aapke tareefi kalimat padh kar dil ko vo josh o Kharosh ke saath Hausalah afzaaoo mili k yeh be-Khud o be-qaanoo ho gaya. bahot achha laga aapka shairana andaaz-e-bayan. sach to yeh hai k yeh apkaa Husn-e-nazar aur suKhan-fehmii hai varna cheh piddi cheh piddi ka shorba agar apka yuN hi sath raha to insha Allah ham zarur maqsad e shairi ko paa leNge. shukria aapkaa aur aapke baRappan kaa.

May God Bless You!

regards
MuKhlis



tu aur aaraa'ish-e-Kham-e-kaakul
maiN aur andesha_haa-e-dur o daraaz
Last edited by muKhlis; 23rd April 2008 at 07:07 AM..
   
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zainy
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23rd April 2008, 03:13 PM
wow mukhlis ji...its too good.....meri urdu itni acchi nahi ,kuch words samaj nahi aye,par apki ghazal behad khoobsurat hai,agar aapke pas thoda sa waqt ho to mujhe bhi sikha denge shayri ?????.....
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muKhlis
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27th April 2008, 09:09 AM
zaini sahib aapkaa shukrya k aapko meri adna si kavish pasand aayi. yahaN aate jaate raheNge to aa jaayegi urdu thank you.



tu aur aaraa'ish-e-Kham-e-kaakul
maiN aur andesha_haa-e-dur o daraaz
   
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zainy
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27th April 2008, 02:20 PM
ji shukriya mukhlis ji,...apki advice yad rakhungi...
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muKhlis
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11th May 2008, 03:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy View Post
ji shukriya mukhlis ji,...apki advice yad rakhungi...
u r most welcome



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11th May 2008, 05:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by muKhlis View Post
adab/salam/namaste

kese hen ap log? ummid he thik honge. men aj apni ek gahzal asan urdu men ap sab ke sath share karna chahta hun. ummid karta hun k agar achhi nahin lagi to kam az kam buri bhi nahin lagegi. apki ara ka shiddat se intizar rahega. shukrya.

ghazal

 chaar din aor gar jiye hote
kia hua ham se, kia kiye hote?

umr bhar be-niyaaz jeene se
naaz se ek din jiye hote!
aap banda-navaaz kia ho.nge
gham ki rudaad sun liye hote

aor ham gham-naseeb kia maa.nge.n
kaash ki tum mere liye hote

vo jo palko.n se gir ke toot gaye
vo sitaare chhupa liye hote!

ham saza-vaar-e-sang the, ae dost!
kuchh to ham par karam kiye hote

jal rahe the charaagh aa.nkho.n me.n
raat raushan thi, aa liye hote!

aap pemaa.n-shikan rahe, varna
kis tamanna se ham jiye hote

sang-rezon me.n the gohar :muKHlis:
apne daman me.n bhar liye hote


Salaam_a_leikum

Kya baat hai MuKhlis bhai , bohat acha likha hai aapne

Allah Nighebaan




Wahi hai markaz'e'Kaaba wahi hai rah'e'buthaana...
Jahaan diwaane do milkar sanam ki baat karte hain..
   
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25th May 2008, 03:03 AM
pahli baar aap ka kalaam padh raha hoon..
acha laga... bahut khoob

Feroz


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27th May 2008, 10:34 PM
janaab....

bahot acchha likhte ho..

behad ehsaas bhara aur umda..

meri taraf se dili daad qubul kijiyega ...

ab jab kabhi tashreef layenge SDC pe to aap ko padhe baghair jaana nahi hoga.
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sunita thakur
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28th May 2008, 11:05 AM
aapki shayri ko pahli baar pada hai.....sacchi mein aap bahut badiya likhtey ho....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


.....Sunita Thakur.....

यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...
   
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29th May 2008, 03:03 AM
Bahut Khoob Mukhlis ji.. Bahut sundar likha hai aapne!

Take Care...

~Priya


"Dikha kar khawaab in aankhon ko, De gaye aansoon in mein Tum..
Kaise chalka doo yeh aansoon, In mein bhi To rehTe ho Tum.."

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3rd June 2008, 12:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by muKhlis View Post
adab/salam/namaste

kese hen ap log? ummid he thik honge. men aj apni ek gahzal asan urdu men ap sab ke sath share karna chahta hun. ummid karta hun k agar achhi nahin lagi to kam az kam buri bhi nahin lagegi. apki ara ka shiddat se intizar rahega. shukrya.

ghazal

 chaar din aor gar jiye hote
kia hua ham se, kia kiye hote?

umr bhar be-niyaaz jeene se
naaz se ek din jiye hote!

aap banda-navaaz kia ho.nge
gham ki rudaad sun liye hote

aor ham gham-naseeb kia maa.nge.n
kaash ki tum mere liye hote

vo jo palko.n se gir ke toot gaye
vo sitaare chhupa liye hote!

ham saza-vaar-e-sang the, ae dost!
kuchh to ham par karam kiye hote

jal rahe the charaagh aa.nkho.n me.n
raat raushan thi, aa liye hote!

aap pemaa.n-shikan rahe, varna
kis tamanna se ham jiye hote

sang-rezon me.n the gohar :muKHlis:
apne daman me.n bhar liye hote

aor ham gham-naseeb kia maa.nge.n
kaash ki tum mere liye hote

vo jo palko.n se gir ke toot gaye
vo sitaare chhupa liye hote!

Bohat khoob mukhlis ji itni khoobsoorat ghazal paish kerne per meri taraf sedili daad quboll kijiye afsos hai ke itna arsa meri nazar se chupa raha aapka ye kalaam yunhi likhte rahiye khush rahain...

Waqt ke jisam ki kharash hoon main
apne ander se pash pash hoon main
zaaat hai aetbaar e zaaat nahin
ab to main khud bhi apne saath nahin
   
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Duniya Mein Jitne Gunaah Hote Haii, Maano Saare Humse Hote Hai !!! roothi_pari Shayri-e-Dard 3 20th July 2005 07:11 PM



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