![](images/aria/misc/left.gif) |
|
|
|
|
![](images/aria/misc/nav_buttons_bg.gif) |
|
|
Main shayar to nahin.....
Offline
Posts: 2,796
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: kanpur
Rep Power: 51
|
Best signature lines 2 -
15th July 2014, 09:20 PM
doston waqt aa gaya hai fir se 'BEST SIGNATURE LINES 2' ko shuru karne ka......
par abki baar hamne competition ko thoda sa intresting banaya hai kyonki abki baar.....
hum aapko ek word denge jis use karte hue aapko lines likhni hain......
hai na intresting...... ![Smilie](images/smilies/smile.gif) ![Smilie](images/smilies/smile.gif)
aur abki baar ka word hai.....'' safar"
rules are same as before beside this change...........
I repost the rules.....
1.hum dard section me ek thread post karenge ..jo bhi member isme hissa lena chahta ho usay is thread per apna signature post karna hoga.
2.15 din ka waqt diya jayega aapko post karne ka
3.hum 3 judges appoint karenge sameer shaad jee, taalib jee and aru
4.15 din baad teeno judges apne hisaab se members ko points denge grades 1 to 10..usi thread per..
5.jis bhi member ke points sab se zyada honge he/she will be the winner.
6. Aur winner ka signature next 07 days tak teeno judges aur mods ka signature rahega..
7 . signature must be very original
amanush jee ke out of station hone kee wajah se vo nahin aa sakenge.
and as we mention earlier also first 3 winners will be judge in next bsl3 competition
PLEASE DON'T WRITE OTHER MESSAGES HERE..ONLY SIGNATURE...
एक हाथ में दिल उनके एक हाथ में खंजर था
चेहरे पे दोस्त का मुखौटा अजीब सा मंजर था
Arvind Saxena
Ph. No. 7905856220
Last edited by aru; 15th July 2014 at 10:55 PM..
Reason: part of thread
|
|
|
|
|
Some Mirrors Lie...
Offline
Posts: 3,133
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Shehr-e-husn
Rep Power: 45
|
15th July 2014, 11:04 PM
kis ko fursat hai hum se milnay ki!
kon aaye ga ab safar kar ke?
*hSn* : parStaar
tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN... ("Asad")
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 1,753
Join Date: Dec 2010
Rep Power: 38
|
15th July 2014, 11:13 PM
waah bahaut hi achchha initiative hai Aru ji !!
meri koshish .... (SDC meiN kahi huwee meri ek puraanee ghazal ka sher)
safar ki daastaaN kehte agar manzil koyee paate
chalo kisse suna dete haiN kuchh pairoN ke chhaaloN ke
-zarraa
maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
|
|
|
|
|
RADHE RADHE
Offline
Posts: 4,115
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: DELHI
Rep Power: 59
|
![Love](images/icons/love.gif)
16th July 2014, 01:23 PM
anjaanne safar par gaye to jaana
koi nahin hai apna, siva tere.........ishk
Aapka Apna Ishk
'इश्क' के बदले इश्क चाहना तिजारत है
इज़हार किससे करें महबूब तो दिल में है
email: rkm179@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
|
Moderator
Offline
Posts: 5,213
Join Date: Jul 2014
Rep Power: 29
|
16th July 2014, 07:50 PM
Rahe tera khyaal to roshan ho rah e guzar,
Phir chahe kyon na kate ye safar tanha tanha......
|
|
|
|
|
Member
Offline
Posts: 1,477
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Delhi .. ovalswitches@gmail.com
Rep Power: 27
|
16th July 2014, 11:02 PM
khone Pane ki daur mein uljha hai har bashar ,
Isi kashmaykash mein kat gaya Zindagee ka safar
khone Pane ki daur mein yun uljha hai har bashar ,
Isee kashmeqash mein kat raha Zindagee ka safar.
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 23
Join Date: Jun 2013
Rep Power: 0
|
16th July 2014, 11:09 PM
SDC ke sabhi dostoN ko namaskaar......adaab ........ Is pratiyogta meiN meri haazri
Mera har safar maiN se maiN tak raha
teri manzileN chahe kadmoN meiN thiN
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 159
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: mumbai
Rep Power: 12
|
17th July 2014, 10:07 PM
safar yun hi Kat jaye khushyon bhara sa
dua hai rahe saath yun hi hamara
ye mehfil hamesha sab yun hi sajana
ham na ho jahaa'n me to yaad rakhe zamana
safar yun hi Kat jaye khushyon bhara
sa
dua hai rahe saath yun hi hamara
ye mehfil hamesha sab yun hi sajana
ham na ho jahaa'n me to yaad rakhe zamana
I like 2 wlk in rain bez its hide my
tears bcz
My smile is fake.......
|
|
|
|
|
"Just A Soul"
Offline
Posts: 39
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: kanpur
Rep Power: 0
|
20th July 2014, 12:52 AM
pyaar ishq mohabbat.....
in adhoore shabdon ka safar bhala poora kaise ho.....
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 1,646
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Mumbai, India
Rep Power: 23
|
21st July 2014, 11:15 AM
zindagii ke safar meN jo tum hum mile
hai shikaayat ki hardam mujhe gham mile
~ 'Safeer' Adil
ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
|
|
|
|
|
Kuchh dil se~
Offline
Posts: 36
Join Date: Dec 2012
Rep Power: 0
|
22nd July 2014, 11:04 AM
My signature:
Binaa tere ... khudaa mere.. seher kaisii.. safar kaisaa..
KaheeN daryaa kaheeN pyaasaa idhar bhatkaa udhar bhatkaa ~
Abhi Tamrakar
Binaa tere ... khudaa mere.. seher kaisii.. safar kaisaa..
KaheeN daryaa kaheeN pyaasaa idhar bhatkaa udhar bhatkaa ~ - Abhi Tamrakar
|
|
|
|
|
Tere Intzaar Mein....
Offline
Posts: 1,181
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ludhiana(Punjab)
Rep Power: 39
|
25th July 2014, 11:41 AM
mera signature:
==========
maNzil pr nazar rakhtaa huN
zaari apnaa safar rakhtaa huN !!
Last edited by Rajeev Sharma; 25th July 2014 at 11:50 AM..
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 61
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Jalandhar,Punjab
Rep Power: 12
|
27th July 2014, 02:19 PM
Rubb dhoondne niklu mil jaye ga
Pr tujhko kaise pau ga
Ye safar hae mushkil mohabbat ka
Tere dil tk kaise jau ga
Tere aane ki umeed hae kaise keh du k intzaar nhi
|
|
|
|
|
~“ REBELLIOUS IN LOVE “~
Offline
Posts: 492
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ruatonga,Cook Islands
Rep Power: 25
|
29th July 2014, 03:31 AM
wo jo lete hain safar ka lutf yaaron
manzil ka kahan pata maangtein hain
|
|
|
|
|
Aapki dost
Offline
Posts: 7,325
Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 57
|
1st August 2014, 01:47 PM
Teeno judges se guzarish hai ke isi thread per apne apne points de dein...
Thanks
Zainy
PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...
Nm
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 775
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 30
|
1st August 2014, 04:35 PM
DostoN Adaab,
Sabse pehle Eid ki bohot bohot badhayee denaa chahoonga sab ko aur Allah se dua karta hoon ke aap sabko khaane peene par control karne ki hidaayat ataa farmaaye...Aameeeen..
BSL2 ke liye saari entries ke liye shukriya...likhte rahiye sunte rahiye aur sunaate rahiye..haar jeet tau lagi rehti hai...Mujhe saare entries kuch iss tarah se pasand aayee hai.
Madishanu Ji
pyaar ishq mohabbat.....
in adhoore shabdon ka safar bhala poora kaise ho.....
Points 4/10 (Mujhe laga ganaa sunaa rahe hain aap..LoL...next time thoRi aur mehnat kijiyega)
-------------------------------------
Furqaan Bhai.
safar yun hi Kat jaye khushyon bhara sa
dua hai rahe saath yun hi hamara
ye mehfil hamesha sab yun hi sajana
ham na ho jahaa'n me to yaad rakhe zamana
5/10 (nice try rythm ki kami hai bass....but a good attempt)
-------------------------------------
Honey Sugar
Rubb dhoondne niklu mil jaye ga
Pr tujhko kaise pau ga
Ye safar hae mushkil mohabbat ka
Tere dil tk kaise jau ga
Points 5/10 ( Rythm hai bt koi punch nahi hai aur txt msg ki lang men hai tau pts nai de pau ga)
-------------------------------------
Manjeet Ji
Mera har safar maiN se maiN tak raha
teri manzileN chahe kadmoN meiN thiN
Points 5/10 (confusion hai yahaaN bhi..maiN se maiN tak ka safar...? aur uski manzileN..? kiske kadmoN mein..?)
-------------------------------------
Abhi Tamrakar
Binaa tere ... khudaa mere.. seher kaisii.. safar kaisaa..
KaheeN daryaa kaheeN pyaasaa idhar bhatkaa udhar bhatkaa
Points 5.5/10 (khuda se mukhatib ho raheN hai aap tau theek hai lekin dono lines mein connection nahi ho raha..sher paDh ke main bhatak gayaa hoon...LoL..just kidding)
-------------------------------------
Ananthpak ji.
wo jo lete hain safar ka lutf yaaron
manzil ka kahan pata maangtein hain
Points 6/10 (thought accha hai lekin sher ko behtar bandhaa ja sakta tha)
-------------------------------------
Rajeev Bhai
maNzil pr nazar rakhtaa huN
zaari apnaa safar rakhtaa huN
Points 6/10 (Bandha accha hai sher ko, lekin baat bohot normal si hai..koi dastaN koi alag vichaar if not then atleast a DeJa Vu...?)
-------------------------------------
Humdum sahab,
khone Pane ki daur mein uljha hai har bashar ,
Isi kashmaykash mein kat gaya Zindagee ka safar
Points 6/10 (A tad improvement needed..but clear thought)
-------------------------------------
Madhu 14
Rahe tera khyaal to roshan ho rah e guzar,
Phir chahe kyon na kate ye safar tanha tanha.
Points 6/10 (Behtar ho sakta tha..its not clear ke woh khayaal already hai aapko.. ke aap chahte ho woh khayaal aaye...?)
-------------------------------------
Aadeil
zindagii ke safar meN jo tum hum mile
hai shikaayat ki hardam mujhe gham mile
Points 6/10 (nice rythm gud sher but aap isse kaafi accha likh sakte hain.)
-------------------------------------
Ishk Bhai
anjaanne safar par gaye to jaana
koi nahin hai apna, siva tere.........ishk
Points 6/10 (Ishk ki daastaan hai pyaare...apni apni zabaan hai pyaare.)
-------------------------------------
Nazeen saahiba
Maghroor nigaahoN ka aaeena raha gawaah
Chehre ki silwateiN haiN tanha safar ki daastaaN
Points 7/10 (acchi soch aur bayaangi bhi acchi lekin...silvateiN mere hisaab se malaabis yaani kapRoN parr paDti hai..chehre ya badan par nahi.)
-------------------------------------
Janaab Zarra Sahab
safar ki daastaaN kehte agar manzil koyee paate
chalo kisse suna dete haiN kuchh pairoN ke chhaaloN ke.
Points 7.5/10 (Bohot pyaraa sher hai, mushkilaat ki daastaN aur zinda dili dono...)
-------------------------------------
Hassan Bhai
kis ko fursat hai hum se milnay ki!
kon aaye ga ab safar kar ke?
Points 7.5/10 (Ek akele insaan ke dil ki awaaz lagi mujhe yeh sher, shayad ghar se apnoN se duurr pardes mein...aur aaj kal ki masroof zindagi ki ek jhalak...sada aur saaf lafzoN mein saadi sacchi soch.)
---------------------------------
---------------------------------
Harr koi apne hisaab se sher paDhta hai ya kisi artist ki painting ko dekhta hai...mere hisaab se mujhe jo mehsoos hua maine yahaaN likh diya...aur yeh points sirf mere hai aur iss BSL2 tak hi mehdood hai...these points are not and indication of grading any shayar, its for these submitted lines only...it is very likely that a much impressive poetry could have been written by someone who did not score as high in this BSL2..hence.. likhte rahiye..
Aur ek choTi si suggestion.. Mere hisaab se agar koi lafz diya gayaa hai....tau koshish kijiye ke aapka likha uss shabd parr zor daale...and try to use words which emphasizes on safar like, musaafir, humsafar, manzil, raaste...etc...you will see that your creation has improved automatically...well for now..will make a move..you all take care.
|
|
|
|
|
Main shayar to nahin.....
Offline
Posts: 2,796
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: kanpur
Rep Power: 51
|
1st August 2014, 07:32 PM
dear friends..............waqt aa gaya hai...judgement ka..
sabhi logon ne bahut acche sher likhe......ab time hai points dene ke...ye points mere personal view hai....
1.hassan jee...9/10
2.zarra jee.....9/10
3. ishq ek ibadat jee.....8\10
4.madhu jee.....10/10
5.hamdam jee......9/10
6.manjeet jee....8/10
7.furqaan jee...6/10
8.madishanu jee...5/10
9.aadl jee....9/10
10.abhi amarkar jee....10/10
11.rajeev jee...9/10
12.honey sugar jee....7/10
13.anantpak jee....9/10
14.nazneen jee....10/10
this is my personal view and opinion.... jasia kee aadil g ne bhi kaha hai har koi apne hissab se sher padta hai.....
thanKs
ARU
एक हाथ में दिल उनके एक हाथ में खंजर था
चेहरे पे दोस्त का मुखौटा अजीब सा मंजर था
Arvind Saxena
Ph. No. 7905856220
|
|
|
|
|
Aapki dost
Offline
Posts: 7,325
Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 57
|
3rd August 2014, 12:39 PM
Shaad sahab kahi busy hogaye. .isiliye janaab ufaq sahab se guzarish hai ke as a third judge yahaaN points de deiN..
Zainy
PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...
Nm
|
|
|
|
|
AN ILLUSION
Offline
Posts: 726
Join Date: Oct 2011
Rep Power: 34
|
3rd August 2014, 06:31 PM
Sabse pahle to zainy Jii mujhe is ehtraam se nawaazne Ke liye aapka shukrguzar hu......ab bina waqt baraad kiye.points declare kar deta hu.....
Hasan 6
Ishk 5
Madhu 6
Hamdam 5
Furqan 5
Rajiv 6
Abhi 7
Zarra 8
Honey sugar 4
Madhi shanu 4
Manjiit 5
Anant pak 6
Aadeil 6
Nazneen 5
Sabhii khwaatiin o hazraat Ko bahut bahut mubaaraqen.....is muqaable me'n hissa lene Ke liye....
|
|
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Rate This Thread |
Linear Mode
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5 Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
|
![](images/aria/misc/right.gif) |