 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
 |
ae kaash.................. |
 |
|
 |
|
(#1)
|
|
beautiful moment.........
  
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
|
ae kaash.................. -
9th December 2009, 10:28 PM
Doston,
aur ek adna si koshish kar rahi hu kuch likhne ki... umeed hai har baar ki tarah is baar bhi aap mere in ehsaason pe ek nazar zaroor dalenge.... aapki raay ki muntazir hu..... ae kaash, teri yaad ne pal pal dil ko sataya naa hota, ae kaash, humne tanhaiyon ka jahan aazmaya naa hota.. ek sirf tujko hi to tut ke chaha tha humne, ae kaash, mere sar koi ilzaam tumne lagaya naa hota.. use maloom tha uske chhute hi mai bikhar jaungi, ae kaash, apni hasti ko humne khaak banaya naa hota.. teri yaadon ke samander me mauj uthne lagi hai, ae kaash, apne dil ke jazeere ko usme dubaya naa hota.. mere dil ki kisi sadaa pe wo ruka hi kab tha, ae kaash, khud usne bewafai ka yakeen dilaya naa hota.. uske ghum me har shab hum par kayamat si guzri, ae kaash, itni shiddat se usne dil ko tadpaya naa hota.. mere sirf ek sawaal pe uske sare lafz hi kho gaye, ae kaash, uski khamoshi se humne jawaab paya naa hota.. ab ki baar kuch naa puch payi usse uske haal ke baad, ae kaash, is takalluf se wo milne aaya naa hota.. andhero me duba hai ab to meri umeed ka aaftaab, ae kaash, humne muhabbat ka diya jalaya naa hota.. sunana tha use par raaz hi raha haal-e-dil mera "Lamha", ae kaash, Khuda ne meri zindagi ka suraj bujhaya naa hota.. ************************************************** ****  "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko段i hamnaam teraa , ko段i tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#2)
|
|
|
masttt...
Offline
Posts: 2,151
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Chandigarh
Rep Power: 40
|
10th December 2009, 06:04 AM
Quote:
Bahut khoob likha hai tumne...sare ash'aar hi khayal afreen haiN.... Mujhe be had pasand aayee aapki yeh Ghazal... Aise hi iss mehfil ki shama roshan rakhiye aur Yuoo'n hi likhti rahiye...... Achha laga padh ke... Vikram Uss Rizk Se Tau Maut Bhali Jis Rizk Se Aatee Ho Tere Parwaaz MeiN Kotaahi.... vikramjethi@gmail.com |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#3)
|
|
Anshumali
Offline
Posts: 7,420
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: DELHI (INDIA)
Rep Power: 87
|
10th December 2009, 09:28 AM
Lamha JI....Bahut umda rahi aapki yeh ghazal...sabhi sher bahut ache lage mujhe....tamam ghazal taarif ke kaabil bani hai....kisi ek sher ko khaas batana mushkil ho raha hai....phir bhi ek sher mere zehn se utar hi nahi raha.....
andhero me duba hai ab to meri umeed ka aaftaab, ae kaash, humne muhabbat ka diya jalaya naa hota.. dil se daad hazir hai...kabul farmaaye.... yuhi likhte rahiye.... apna khayal rakhiyega... duaaon ke saath....  YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ... Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ... ---Naresh Mehra---- |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#4)
|
|
|
diLJala
Offline
Posts: 11
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ambala
Rep Power: 0
|
10th December 2009, 09:29 AM
Quote:
aisa lga jaise apne mera haaL-e-Dil byaaN kr dia ho AApki GhazaL huMe kaaFI PasaNd aYi..... aise hi Likhte rahiYe ga....... Take care.....  manzil nhi milti... shayad ye hamari hi galtiyon ki sza hai.... pehle woh humein dhundte the... ab wo humein nhi milti....  ApKA ApNA KuNaL... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#5)
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 155
Join Date: Nov 2009
Rep Power: 16
|
10th December 2009, 10:22 AM
Quote:
next ghazal ke intezar me  (๏̯͡๏) (๏̯͡๏) Hasratein dilo ki chupaye nahi chupti hai, dard juba par bankar bayan sab karti hai..... ***************************** Dard ki mehfil me ek sher hum bhi aarz kiya karte hai.. Na kisi se marham Na duaon ki Ummed kiya karte hai.. kayi chehre lekar log yaha jiya karte hai....... hum in aasunao ko ek chehre ke liye peeya karte hai.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#6)
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 474
Join Date: Apr 2009
Rep Power: 25
|
10th December 2009, 12:26 PM
Quote:
har sher bahut khoobsurat h |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#7)
|
|
An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
|
10th December 2009, 03:07 PM
Lamha Dear.........
Sach mein bahut khoob ahsaasoN ko bayan kiya hai tumne, har ek ahsaas har ek sher tumhare bare mein bahut kuch batata chala gaya ke kya kya khayal aaye dil mein aur kya kya tumne socha........ Bahut achche dear......... Keep it Up.............. Tumne mujhe Pm karke bulaya but main ab sharminda ho gaya ke meri khud hi is kalam per nazar kaise nahi gayi....... Humare Dil mein koi khayal phir aisa aaya naa hota Ae kash hum khud hi aajate tumne hume bulaya na hota.......  Khush raho, Khuda Hafez..... 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#8)
|
|
Some Mirrors Lie...
Offline
Posts: 3,133
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Shehr-e-husn
Rep Power: 44
|
10th December 2009, 09:13 PM
Lamha Jii,,
Yeh to acha hua aap ne thread pharne ko bula liya... Warna humari nazaroon ko aik achi tehreer pharn'e ka moqa nahi mil pata..... Kia kehne janab.... An out-standing creation,, Keep up write better and better,, Regardz,,, tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di! kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN... ("Asad") |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#9)
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 665
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Waltham, MA
Rep Power: 26
|
10th December 2009, 09:51 PM
Quote:
Nice use of simile here teri yaadon ke samander me mauj uthne lagi hai, ae kaash, apne dil ke jazeere ko usme dubaya naa hota.. किसी में शाम न मिली तो किसी में सहर नहीं |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#10)
|
|
'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
|
11th December 2009, 11:03 AM
Hi Lamha,
how r u? hope u r doin good..pls find my comments below..gar kuch galat keh dun to mauf kar dena.. ae kaash, teri yaad ne pal pal dil ko sataya naa hota, ae kaash, humne tanhaiyon ka jahan aazmaya naa hota.. good one..d feelings r clearly visible.. ek sirf tujko hi to tut ke chaha tha humne, ae kaash, mere sar koi ilzaam tumne lagaya naa hota.. i dnt see a link between d first stanza nd d second one.. koi ilzaam? kaun se ilzaam ki baat karr rahe ho aap? ek sirf tujko hi to ta-umr tut ke chaha tha humne, ae kaash, mere bikhre dil ko tune thukraaya naa hota.. aap fark dekhiye. use maloom tha uske chhute hi mai bikhar jaungi, ae kaash, apni hasti ko humne khaak banaya naa hota.. use nahi aap ko maalum tha magar phir bhi....den it makes sense mujhe maloom tha uske chhute hi mai bikhar jaungi, ae kaash, apni hasti ko maine khaak banaya naa hota.. teri yaadon ke samander me mauj uthne lagi hai, ae kaash, apne dil ke jazeere ko usme dubaya naa hota.. lagi hai is present tense..dubaaya naa hota is past tense...lagi thi is more apt... mere dil ki kisi sadaa pe wo ruka hi kab tha, ae kaash, khud usne bewafai ka yakeen dilaya naa hota.. first line is beautiful..again i see no link betwn d lines..."bewafai ka yakeen" -> means what? mere dil ki kisi sadaa pe wo ruka hi kab tha, ae kaash, har pal saath jeene ka yakeen dilaya naa hota.. uske ghum me har shab hum par kayamat si guzri, ae kaash, itni shiddat se usne dil ko tadpaya naa hota.. good one.. mere sirf ek sawaal pe uske sare lafz hi kho gaye, ae kaash, uski khamoshi se humne jawaab paya naa hota.. bahot khoob.. ab ki baar kuch naa puch payi usse uske haal ke baad, ae kaash, is takalluf se wo milne aaya naa hota.. "usse uske haal ke baad"..i did nt understand..can u let me knw wht it means? andhero me duba hai ab to meri umeed ka aaftaab, ae kaash, humne muhabbat ka diya jalaya naa hota.. very good.awesome.. sunana tha use par raaz hi raha haal-e-dil mera "Lamha", ae kaash, Khuda ne meri zindagi ka suraj bujhaya naa hota.. hmmm...aapne yeh likha tab aappe kya guzri hogi yeh to saaf ho raha hai aapki ghazal se..khush rahiye..likhte rahiye..god bless.. aapka dost, Pradhyuman gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#11)
|
|
Huii Sabse Paraayi
Offline
Posts: 5,283
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kolkata
Rep Power: 44
|
11th December 2009, 04:10 PM
lamha sweety,
bahot achhi koshish hai ....yun hi koshish karte rahna apne ehesaas ko sabse share karte rahna DuaoN ke saath Diya  Mohabbat ke baad mohabbat mumkin hai faraz. Magar toot ke chahna sirf ek baar hota hai Goodbye SDC Diya |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#12)
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 47
|
13th December 2009, 12:48 PM
Quote:
yun hi likhte rahiye........... har sher accha laga........daad kabool kijiye regards REPS ++++++++ |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#13)
|
|
|
beautiful moment.........
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
|
14th December 2009, 08:25 PM
Quote:
Vikram, aapka bahut bahut shukriya...aapko mere ye ehsaas pasand aaye ye mere liye bahut badi baat hai...aap yuhi apna saath barkaraar rakhiyega.... khush rahiye.... "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko段i hamnaam teraa , ko段i tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#14)
|
|
|
beautiful moment.........
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
|
16th December 2009, 07:13 PM
Quote:
Naresh ji, aapke saath aur aapki Duaon ke liye aapka shukriya adaa karne ke liye lafz nahi mere pass.... aapne hamesha apna saath banaye rakha hai... aap jaise doston ke comments hi to hai jinse housla badhta hai is na-cheez ka... yuhi saath nibhate rahiyega...khush rahiye.... "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko段i hamnaam teraa , ko段i tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#15)
|
|
Shayri.com Moderator
Offline
Posts: 10,551
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: INDIA
Rep Power: 59
|
18th December 2009, 11:19 AM
Lamha:
namaste! aaj yahaaN aaya aur aapki ees koShiSh ko paRhaa.. bahot hi beHteriN aur umdaah rahiiN koShiSh aapki.. har Sher seedhe dil se nikle hoN! ees naGhz koShiSh par mere dil se DheroN saari daad aur duaaeN! yuuNhi bazm ko sajaate raheN aage bhee! liKhate raheN aise hi! KhuSh raheN... apnaa Khayaal raKheN duaaoN ke saath ijaazat aapka ~ Dhaval |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#16)
|
|
|
beautiful moment.........
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
|
18th December 2009, 07:48 PM
Quote:
Kunal, aapka bahut bahut shukriya saath dene ka...aapko ye koshish padh kar laga ke ye aapke dil ka haal hai to is se badhkar mere liye compliment nahi ho sakta... yuhi apna saath banaye rakhiyega...khush rahiye.... "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko段i hamnaam teraa , ko段i tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#17)
|
|
|
beautiful moment.........
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
|
18th December 2009, 07:51 PM
Quote:
Hasrat , shukriya.... aapne meri itni hausla afzai ki uske liye mai tahe dil se aapki shukra guzaar hu... aap jaise doston ka saath raha to aisi koshishen baar baar karti rahungi...apna saath banaye rakhiyega.... khush rahiye.... "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko段i hamnaam teraa , ko段i tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#18)
|
|
|
beautiful moment.........
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
|
18th December 2009, 07:53 PM
Quote:
Shipra, aap ka bahut bahut shukriya ke aapne apna kimati waqt meri is adna si koshish ko diya... pasand karne ka shukriya.... keep coming dear.... god bless u.... "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko段i hamnaam teraa , ko段i tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#19)
|
|
|
beautiful moment.........
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
|
23rd December 2009, 07:47 PM
Quote:
Sameer, bahut bahut shukriya dear... yuhi apna saath hamesha banaye rakhna... khush raho.... "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko段i hamnaam teraa , ko段i tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#20)
|
|
|
beautiful moment.........
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
|
23rd December 2009, 07:49 PM
Quote:
aapne is nachiz ki izzat afzai ki uske liye dil se shukra guzaar hu... apna saath yuhi banaye rakhiyega.....khush rahiye... "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko段i hamnaam teraa , ko段i tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#21)
|
|
|
beautiful moment.........
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
|
23rd December 2009, 07:51 PM
Quote:
aapka bahut bahut shukriya Mayoos ji... yuhi aate rahiyega ... khush rahiye.... "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko段i hamnaam teraa , ko段i tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#22)
|
|
|
beautiful moment.........
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
|
23rd December 2009, 07:57 PM
Quote:
Pradhyuman, aapke sare comments mere sar aankho par... aapne yaha jitni bhi baatein kahi hai mai un sab baaton se sehmat hu...mai aapki paarkhi nazar ki kaayal ho gayi... be-shaq aap bahut achche shayar ho... aapki raay se bahut kuch sikhne mila hai... umeed karti hu isitarah aap apni raay aur comments se meri madad karte rahenge... mere is adna si tehreer ko apna kimati waqt dene ka bahut bahut shukriya... mai aapki umeed par khari utarne ki puri koshish karungi... aap plz apna saath yuhi banaye rakhiyega.... khush rahiye......keep coming dear.... "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko段i hamnaam teraa , ko段i tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#23)
|
|
Silent
Offline
Posts: 112
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Maharashtra india
Rep Power: 21
|
25th December 2009, 04:02 PM
mere sirf ek sawaal pe uske sare lafz hi kho gaye,
ae kaash, uski khamoshi se humne jawaab paya naa hota.. ab ki baar kuch naa puch payi usse uske haal ke baad, ae kaash, is takalluf se wo milne aaya naa hota Kya baat hai bahut he umda. khuda kare aap yuhi likhte rahe. par unse jakar puchiye jinhe hasil nahi hai hum  .............. call or msg at 00919823008024 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#24)
|
|
|
beautiful moment.........
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
|
28th December 2009, 07:27 PM
Quote:
thanx a lot sweetie.... keep coming...take care..... "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko段i hamnaam teraa , ko段i tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#25)
|
|
|
beautiful moment.........
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
|
28th December 2009, 07:28 PM
Quote:
Zidd, aapki daad sar aankho par.... yuhi apna saath banaye rakhiyega... khush rahiye.... "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko段i hamnaam teraa , ko段i tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#26)
|
|
|
beautiful moment.........
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
|
28th December 2009, 07:30 PM
Quote:
Bhaiyya, aapka bahut bahut shukriya ... aap yaha aaye aur mera hausla badhaya ye mere liye bahut badi baat hai... apna saath aur pyaar yuhi banaye rakhiyega.......khush rahiye.... aapki bahen "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko段i hamnaam teraa , ko段i tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#27)
|
|
|
beautiful moment.........
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
|
28th December 2009, 07:32 PM
Quote:
Naaz, kaisi ho tum yaar ?? kaha gayab ho gayi thi??... missed u sooooooo much... thanx for ur support.... ya i wasn't well... but i m ok now.... tum sunao? keep coming sweetie.....take care dear.... "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko段i hamnaam teraa , ko段i tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
|
|
|
|
jo likhti ho achcha hi likhti ho aur ye bhi ghazal MASHAALLAH hai.......heard u were nt well hope u r f9 nw. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#28)
|
|
|
beautiful moment.........
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
|
28th December 2009, 07:34 PM
Quote:
Jinn, aapka bahut bahut shukriya.... aap jaise doston ka yuhi saath raha to hum yuhi likhte rahenge.... khush rahiye..... "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko段i hamnaam teraa , ko段i tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
«
Previous Thread
|
Next Thread
»
Linear Mode
|
|
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
