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Ek Ghazal Likhne Ki Koshish Mein Jo Lafaz Hamse Likha Gaya -
15th March 2009, 08:44 PM
Dear All members,
meri aap sab se guzarish hai ke main yaha apni poetry ko chipka raha hoo heheh
aap sab parhiye agar kisi ko koi galati nazar aye to please us ki correction keriye aap ki islaah aur aap ne mashwaro ka mutmani ho ...
buhat nawazish hogi aap sab ki madad ki.
Shukriya
aap ka apna
Rijaan
.................................................. .....................................
Ek Ghazal Likhne Ki Koshish Mein Jo Lafaz Hamse Likha Gaya
Woh Unka Hi Naam Thaa Jo Baar Baar Likha Gaya
Maangate Rahe Mere Sukhe Lab Unse Ek Panaha Pyaar Ki
Woh Saaya Sa Ban Ke Hamaare Pass Se Gujar Gaya
Hamne Chaha Ki Aaj Chupke Se Chum Le Hum Chaand Ki Palko Ko
Per Subeh Hote Hi Woh Mera Khawab Tute Aaiene Sa Tut Gaya
Ruke They Hum Unki Aankho Ke Samander Mein Dubane Ke Liye
Woh Ek Laher Si Ban Ke Mere Pass Se Bas Gujar Gaya
Na Jaane Kitne Zakham Khaaye Hamne Unki Mohabbat Mein
Har Baar Woh Naye Zakham De Kar Aur Dard De Ke Chala Gaya
Apni Haato Ki Lakreero Mein Hamne Na Paaya Thaa Naam Unka
Unko Paane Ke Liye Mera Vajood Apni Taqdeer Tak Se Lad Gaya
Usko chaha bhi to iqraar karna na aaya,
Kat gayi umr, hamein pyar karna na aaya,
Usney maanga bhi agar kuch to maangi judaai,
Aur ek hum thay ke inkaar karna na aaya!!!!
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Registered User
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Location: mumbai
Rep Power: 19
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16th March 2009, 04:59 PM
Rijan ji, bahot hi khub, kafi acha likha hai appne, likhte rahe nikhar ata rehenga, take care bye
koi pyaar chahe to koi jahan chahe,
koi doulat chahe to koi shaan chahe,
hum to jindagi ke sataye huwe hai,
‘Eliyas’ to khudase do gaaz zameen aur kafan chahe
- ELIYAS SHAIKH
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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salam -
18th May 2009, 05:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliyas
Rijan ji, bahot hi khub, kafi acha likha hai appne, likhte rahe nikhar ata rehenga, take care bye
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thank's A lot rep me
bhai
allah hafiz
Usko chaha bhi to iqraar karna na aaya,
Kat gayi umr, hamein pyar karna na aaya,
Usney maanga bhi agar kuch to maangi judaai,
Aur ek hum thay ke inkaar karna na aaya!!!!
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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Posts: 5,535
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lost In The Cobwebs Of Mah Mind...!!
Rep Power: 48
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19th May 2009, 11:53 AM
Aadaab rijaan shahab,
Pehli baar aapko padhne ka mauka mila hai, jazbaat ahche lage, bas ye kehna chahuNga ki aapne ghazal likhne ki jo kosish ki hai usme thodi si chook ho gayi, aapke poore kalaam me qaafiya(the rhyming words) nahiN hai umeed karuNga ki is forum ke upar rules n technicalities of ghazal writing pe aap gaur farmaayeNge, takeenan usse aapko bahut faayeda hoga...!!
Alla Hafiz
Ghayal
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Registered User
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thank you -
19th May 2009, 08:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ghayal_shayar
Aadaab rijaan shahab,
Pehli baar aapko padhne ka mauka mila hai, jazbaat ahche lage, bas ye kehna chahuNga ki aapne ghazal likhne ki jo kosish ki hai usme thodi si chook ho gayi, aapke poore kalaam me qaafiya(the rhyming words) nahiN hai umeed karuNga ki is forum ke upar rules n technicalities of ghazal writing pe aap gaur farmaayeNge, takeenan usse aapko bahut faayeda hoga...!!
Alla Hafiz
Ghayal
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salam ghayal bahi..agli baar aap apna naam jarur batlana aur ishi tarha hame haushal badana .......
thank you ghayal bahi..
aap ka bhoot bahoot sukriya jo aap ne hame apni kami dikhlai mai ummid karurga is baat ko puri karne ki ok....
allha hafiz
........
Usko chaha bhi to iqraar karna na aaya,
Kat gayi umr, hamein pyar karna na aaya,
Usney maanga bhi agar kuch to maangi judaai,
Aur ek hum thay ke inkaar karna na aaya!!!!
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Registered User
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Posts: 839
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: India
Rep Power: 30
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21st May 2009, 03:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rijaan
Dear All members,
meri aap sab se guzarish hai ke main yaha apni poetry ko chipka raha hoo heheh
aap sab parhiye agar kisi ko koi galati nazar aye to please us ki correction keriye aap ki islaah aur aap ne mashwaro ka mutmani ho ...
buhat nawazish hogi aap sab ki madad ki.
Shukriya
aap ka apna
Rijaan
.................................................. .....................................
Ek Ghazal Likhne Ki Koshish Mein Jo Lafaz Hamse Likha Gaya
Woh Unka Hi Naam Thaa Jo Baar Baar Likha Gaya
Maangate Rahe Mere Sukhe Lab Unse Ek Panaha Pyaar Ki
Woh Saaya Sa Ban Ke Hamaare Pass Se Gujar Gaya
Hamne Chaha Ki Aaj Chupke Se Chum Le Hum Chaand Ki Palko Ko
Per Subeh Hote Hi Woh Mera Khawab Tute Aaiene Sa Tut Gaya
Ruke They Hum Unki Aankho Ke Samander Mein Dubane Ke Liye
Woh Ek Laher Si Ban Ke Mere Pass Se Bas Gujar Gaya
Na Jaane Kitne Zakham Khaaye Hamne Unki Mohabbat Mein
Har Baar Woh Naye Zakham De Kar Aur Dard De Ke Chala Gaya
Apni Haato Ki Lakreero Mein Hamne Na Paaya Thaa Naam Unka
Unko Paane Ke Liye Mera Vajood Apni Taqdeer Tak Se Lad Gaya
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Rijaan jee,
Ghazal ki baarikiyo.n ke baare me.n to hum jyada nahi jaante par haan ehsaas dil ko chhoo gaye...........
khaas kar ke aakhiri sh'er..
bahut khoob.
yun hi likhte rahiye...
God bless you...
khush rahiye..
aapki ritu
"Life laughs at you when you are unhappy...
Life smiles at you when you are happy..
But,
Life salutes you when you make others happy!!"
# Feel The Difference #
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beautiful moment.........
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
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21st May 2009, 06:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rijaan
Ek Ghazal Likhne Ki Koshish Mein Jo Lafaz Hamse Likha Gaya
Woh Unka Hi Naam Thaa Jo Baar Baar Likha Gaya
Maangate Rahe Mere Sukhe Lab Unse Ek Panaha Pyaar Ki
Woh Saaya Sa Ban Ke Hamaare Pass Se Gujar Gaya
Hamne Chaha Ki Aaj Chupke Se Chum Le Hum Chaand Ki Palko Ko
Per Subeh Hote Hi Woh Mera Khawab Tute Aaiene Sa Tut Gaya
Ruke They Hum Unki Aankho Ke Samander Mein Dubane Ke Liye
Woh Ek Laher Si Ban Ke Mere Pass Se Bas Gujar Gaya
Na Jaane Kitne Zakham Khaaye Hamne Unki Mohabbat Mein
Har Baar Woh Naye Zakham De Kar Aur Dard De Ke Chala Gaya
Apni Haato Ki Lakreero Mein Hamne Na Paaya Thaa Naam Unka
Unko Paane Ke Liye Mera Vajood Apni Taqdeer Tak Se Lad Gaya
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bahut khoob RIJAAN..............................awesome dear.........keep it up.....
"LAMHA"
mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko’ii hamnaam teraa ,
ko’ii tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe....
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Rep Power: 17
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hi how r u -
24th May 2009, 06:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ritu18525
Rijaan jee,
Ghazal ki baarikiyo.n ke baare me.n to hum jyada nahi jaante par haan ehsaas dil ko chhoo gaye...........
khaas kar ke aakhiri sh'er..
bahut khoob.
yun hi likhte rahiye...
God bless you...
khush rahiye..
aapki ritu
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hi how r u ritu
thank you jo aap ne hamari kami eheshash to dikha diya ham bhi jante the shayri ghazal in sab ki bare jyada nahi jante lkin inshan ki koi ek achi koishi ushe sab khuch shikha deti aap ka bahot bahot sukriya jo aap ne hamari ghazal ko paand kar ke ushe pahechan di
Hasraton ki Nigaaho pe sakht Pehra hai…
Na Jaane Kis Ummid pe yeh Dil tehra hai…
Teri Chaahaton ki Kasam, aye Dost…
Apni Dosti ka Rishta Pyaar Se bhi Gehra hai…
Usko chaha bhi to iqraar karna na aaya,
Kat gayi umr, hamein pyar karna na aaya,
Usney maanga bhi agar kuch to maangi judaai,
Aur ek hum thay ke inkaar karna na aaya!!!!
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 138
Join Date: Jun 2008
Rep Power: 17
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24th May 2009, 06:31 PM
thank' a lot lamha ji sabse pahele aap ka id to bahot khubsurat hai ispar muje ek sher yaad aaya pasand aaye to rep jarur dena aap ka dost rijaan....
Har Lamha Mujhe Khamosh Hai Nazar Aata…
Door Tujhse Gar Hota To Main Mar Jata…
Aaj Ek Judai Ki Lehar Ne Tode Mere Kinare
To Yun Kaise Main Tujhse Door Chala Jata…
Usko chaha bhi to iqraar karna na aaya,
Kat gayi umr, hamein pyar karna na aaya,
Usney maanga bhi agar kuch to maangi judaai,
Aur ek hum thay ke inkaar karna na aaya!!!!
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beautiful moment.........
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
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26th May 2009, 06:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rijaan
thank' a lot lamha ji sabse pahele aap ka id to bahot khubsurat hai ispar muje ek sher yaad aaya pasand aaye to rep jarur dena aap ka dost rijaan....
Har Lamha Mujhe Khamosh Hai Nazar Aata…
Door Tujhse Gar Hota To Main Mar Jata…
Aaj Ek Judai Ki Lehar Ne Tode Mere Kinare
To Yun Kaise Main Tujhse Door Chala Jata…
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masha allah....................bahut khoob RIJAAN...............keep it up....
aur haaaa.....mera real naam bhi LAMHA hi hai,ye sirf mera id nahi.....thanx ...
"LAMHA"
mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko’ii hamnaam teraa ,
ko’ii tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe....
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Registered User
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Rep Power: 17
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hi -
2nd October 2009, 09:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LAMHA
masha allah....................bahut khoob RIJAAN...............keep it up....
aur haaaa.....mera real naam bhi LAMHA hi hai,ye sirf mera id nahi.....thanx ...
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as salam
hi lamha jikaishe ho aaj kafi dino baad yaad aai hame aur hamse raha nahi gaya isi liye aaj aap sabi logo ki yaadonemuje yaha khich laya................
aur ha repdena jarur ab mai shayri post tokabhi nahi karurga lekin jab bhi aap ki yaad aaye to jarur chala aauga..........by tc
Usko chaha bhi to iqraar karna na aaya,
Kat gayi umr, hamein pyar karna na aaya,
Usney maanga bhi agar kuch to maangi judaai,
Aur ek hum thay ke inkaar karna na aaya!!!!
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Tanhaa Raahi
Offline
Posts: 3,700
Join Date: Oct 2003
Rep Power: 54
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2nd October 2009, 10:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rijaan
Dear All members,
meri aap sab se guzarish hai ke main yaha apni poetry ko chipka raha hoo heheh
aap sab parhiye agar kisi ko koi galati nazar aye to please us ki correction keriye aap ki islaah aur aap ne mashwaro ka mutmani ho ...
buhat nawazish hogi aap sab ki madad ki.
Shukriya
aap ka apna
Rijaan
.................................................. .....................................
Ek Ghazal Likhne Ki Koshish Mein Jo Lafaz Hamse Likha Gaya
Woh Unka Hi Naam Thaa Jo Baar Baar Likha Gaya
Maangate Rahe Mere Sukhe Lab Unse Ek Panaha Pyaar Ki
Woh Saaya Sa Ban Ke Hamaare Pass Se Gujar Gaya
Hamne Chaha Ki Aaj Chupke Se Chum Le Hum Chaand Ki Palko Ko
Per Subeh Hote Hi Woh Mera Khawab Tute Aaiene Sa Tut Gaya
Ruke They Hum Unki Aankho Ke Samander Mein Dubane Ke Liye
Woh Ek Laher Si Ban Ke Mere Pass Se Bas Gujar Gaya
Na Jaane Kitne Zakham Khaaye Hamne Unki Mohabbat Mein
Har Baar Woh Naye Zakham De Kar Aur Dard De Ke Chala Gaya
Apni Haato Ki Lakreero Mein Hamne Na Paaya Thaa Naam Unka
Unko Paane Ke Liye Mera Vajood Apni Taqdeer Tak Se Lad Gaya
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Ehsaas acche hein, lekin isse behtar likhaa ja sakta tha...!
Koshish zaari rakhiyegaa, ok...?
Duaaon ke saath
Jeene ke liye mujhe ek sapna dedo
Haqeekat meri jaaN liye jaa rahi hai
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