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Meri aankkho me jo chhuupe savaal hain
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Thumbs up Meri aankkho me jo chhuupe savaal hain - 17th March 2014, 04:37 PM

Dosto.n kaafee arse ke baad ek ghazal paise-khidmat mai hai, behr kuchh is tarah hai 1222/1222/1212. insallah pasand aaye to qubool farmaiyega, aur ye naacheez aap ki raay ka muntziir bhi rahega agar koi ghalti bhi nazar aaye to bataaiyega zaroor

Meri aankkho me jo chhuupe savaal hain
Mahobbat ka teri hee woh malaal hain

Na tumhe chhoo ke gujre gham koii kabhi
Meri sab rehmato me yeh khayaal hai

Mukammal ho gayi kyun phir ghazal meri
Tune jo padh liyaa us ka kamaal hai

Terii hii bewafaayi ka sila hai yeh
Mujhe ashqon se jo itna vishaal hai

Ameerii sab gayi gurbat lo aa gayi
Judaa tum ho gaye tab se yeh haal hai

Tabassum hee tera hai apni jindagii
Tere bin yun to jinaa bhi muhaal hai

Zamana jo puchhe gar kyaa ye ishq hai
Mahobbat hee hamaari ek mishaal hai



aap ki raay ka muntzir
manu
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sameer'shaad'
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18th March 2014, 10:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by acharya_mj View Post
Dosto.n kaafee arse ke baad ek ghazal paise-khidmat mai hai, behr kuchh is tarah hai 1222/1222/1212. insallah pasand aaye to qubool farmaiyega, aur ye naacheez aap ki raay ka muntziir bhi rahega agar koi ghalti bhi nazar aaye to bataaiyega zaroor

Meri aankkho me jo chhuupe savaal hain
Mahobbat ka teri hee woh malaal hain

Na tumhe chhoo ke gujre gham koii kabhi
Meri sab rehmato me yeh khayaal hai

Mukammal ho gayi kyun phir ghazal meri
Tune jo padh liyaa us ka kamaal hai

Terii hii bewafaayi ka sila hai yeh
Mujhe ashqon se jo itna vishaal hai

Ameerii sab gayi gurbat lo aa gayi
Judaa tum ho gaye tab se yeh haal hai

Tabassum hee tera hai apni jindagii
Tere bin yun to jinaa bhi muhaal hai

Zamana jo puchhe gar kyaa ye ishq hai
Mahobbat hee hamaari ek mishaal hai



aap ki raay ka muntzir
manu

khushaamdeed manu bhai... arse baad aap tashreef laaye bazm me aur apne is khoobsurat aur bemisaal kalaam ke saath... main aapka tahe dil se istabaal karta hoon.. aur iltijaa karta hoon ke ab aap tashreef laaya karen... bazm aap sabhi members ke aane se hi roshan hai.... likhte raheN.. khush raheN

Shaad...


Shaad...
   
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Dhaval
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18th March 2014, 10:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by acharya_mj View Post
Dosto.n kaafee arse ke baad ek ghazal paise-khidmat mai hai, behr kuchh is tarah hai 1222/1222/1212. insallah pasand aaye to qubool farmaiyega, aur ye naacheez aap ki raay ka muntziir bhi rahega agar koi ghalti bhi nazar aaye to bataaiyega zaroor

Meri aankkho me jo chhuupe savaal hain
Mahobbat ka teri hee woh malaal hain

Na tumhe chhoo ke gujre gham koii kabhi
Meri sab rehmato me yeh khayaal hai

Mukammal ho gayi kyun phir ghazal meri
Tune jo padh liyaa us ka kamaal hai

Terii hii bewafaayi ka sila hai yeh
Mujhe ashqon se jo itna vishaal hai

Ameerii sab gayi gurbat lo aa gayi
Judaa tum ho gaye tab se yeh haal hai

Tabassum hee tera hai apni jindagii
Tere bin yun to jinaa bhi muhaal hai

Zamana jo puchhe gar kyaa ye ishq hai
Mahobbat hee hamaari ek mishaal hai



aap ki raay ka muntzir
manu

manu bhaii:

namaste!

kaise hain aap? huzuur bahot waQt baad aapki koii tehreer bazm mein paDh rahaa huuN... baDii hi KhuShii ho rahii hai mujhe... ehsaas mujhe pasand aayen... andaaz bhee !! yuuNhi liKhte rahiye.. dil se daad

KhuSh rahiye... apnaa Khayaal raKheN

duaaoN ke saath ijaazat

aapka

~Dhaval


*~*Dhaval*~*....Ek Ehsaas...
   
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18th March 2014, 11:04 PM

Manu ji.

Too good..Excellent and beautiful poetry.

Regards
   
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19th March 2014, 09:12 AM

Nice, Heart Touching...................................
   
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Thumbs up 27th March 2014, 06:26 PM

Aadaab Acharye Ji

Kese hain aap ?

Janaab kafi arse ke baad yanha ana hua to aapki umda gazal padhi hamesha ki tarha is baar bhi kamaal kar diya hai aapne, ese hi likhte rahiya aur apna bahut khayal rakhiye.....daad hazir hai.......T C

Aapka dost



Quote:
Originally Posted by acharya_mj View Post
Dosto.n kaafee arse ke baad ek ghazal paise-khidmat mai hai, behr kuchh is tarah hai 1222/1222/1212. insallah pasand aaye to qubool farmaiyega, aur ye naacheez aap ki raay ka muntziir bhi rahega agar koi ghalti bhi nazar aaye to bataaiyega zaroor

Meri aankkho me jo chhuupe savaal hain
Mahobbat ka teri hee woh malaal hain

Na tumhe chhoo ke gujre gham koii kabhi
Meri sab rehmato me yeh khayaal hai

Mukammal ho gayi kyun phir ghazal meri
Tune jo padh liyaa us ka kamaal hai

Terii hii bewafaayi ka sila hai yeh
Mujhe ashqon se jo itna vishaal hai

Ameerii sab gayi gurbat lo aa gayi
Judaa tum ho gaye tab se yeh haal hai

Tabassum hee tera hai apni jindagii
Tere bin yun to jinaa bhi muhaal hai

Zamana jo puchhe gar kyaa ye ishq hai
Mahobbat hee hamaari ek mishaal hai


aap ki raay ka muntzir
manu


"Do Pal Ruka Khushio.n ka Karwan"


Dunia ke sitam ki koi perwah nahi mujhko,
wo kyoun mujhpe ungliya uthaye ja rahe hain.
Jis shaks ko janta tha ek chehre se ''kashif''
Uske kitne chehre samne laye ja rahe hain.




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aadeil
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28th March 2014, 10:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by acharya_mj View Post
Dosto.n kaafee arse ke baad ek ghazal paise-khidmat mai hai, behr kuchh is tarah hai 1222/1222/1212. insallah pasand aaye to qubool farmaiyega, aur ye naacheez aap ki raay ka muntziir bhi rahega agar koi ghalti bhi nazar aaye to bataaiyega zaroor

Meri aankkho me jo chhuupe savaal hain
Mahobbat ka teri hee woh malaal hain

Na tumhe chhoo ke gujre gham koii kabhi
Meri sab rehmato me yeh khayaal hai

Mukammal ho gayi kyun phir ghazal meri
Tune jo padh liyaa us ka kamaal hai

Terii hii bewafaayi ka sila hai yeh
Mujhe ashqon se jo itna vishaal hai

Ameerii sab gayi gurbat lo aa gayi
Judaa tum ho gaye tab se yeh haal hai

Tabassum hee tera hai apni jindagii
Tere bin yun to jinaa bhi muhaal hai

Zamana jo puchhe gar kyaa ye ishq hai
Mahobbat hee hamaari ek mishaal hai



aap ki raay ka muntzir
manu
aadaab Manuji,

Aapkee ghazal hameN behad pasand aayee.
Na tumhe chhoo ke gujre gham koii kabhi
Meri sab rehmato me yeh khayaal hai

Ameerii sab gayi gurbat lo aa gayi
Judaa tum ho gaye tab se yeh haal hai

waah... bahot hi umda bayaanaat huii hai. Aapko hamaaree jaanib se daad. aashar bahot hi khubsurat aur jaazib haiN......

aur janaab galti kee to koe gunjaaish hi nahiN hai..............

aapne ek non-standard beher banaayee hai aur iska khubsurat istimaal kiya hai. gaur kijiye, aapki ye beher (hazaj musaddas maḥżuf) "1222/1222/122" ke bilkul qarib hai. sirf ek rukn ko agar aap adjust kareN to aapki ye ghazal ees beher men bhee bitha sakte haiN. bas ek mashwara

Adil ka salaam...............



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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28th March 2014, 01:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by acharya_mj View Post
Meri aankkho me jo chhuupe savaal hain
Mahobbat ka teri hee woh malaal hain



aap ki raay ka muntzir
manu
phir se gaur kiya toh, ye bhee bataanaa chaahunga, ki makte ke radeef men 'haiN' ko badal ke 'hai' hi rakhiye...... sirf ek change karna hoga

Meri aankkho me jo chhuupaa savaal hai
Mahobbat ka teri hee woh malaal hai


kyuN ki aapne bakee ke sabhee ashaar men 'hai' ka hi istemaal kiya hai. agar makte men 'hain' aapkee radeef hai toh puri ghazal men wo hi radeef rehnee zaroori ban jataa hai.

main koii master to hoon nahiN par aapne frank opinion maangaa hai toh, apnee samajh ke mutabeek apnaa opinion dena uchit samjhaa

aapkee tabdeer ka intezaar rahega....

aadaab....



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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sameer'shaad'
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28th March 2014, 01:09 PM

Aadeil saahab... beech me bolungaa to gustaakhi hogi, magar jab Manu bhai ne khud kahaa thaa ke galtiyaan ya kah len baareeqiyaan bataane ke liye to ek baat aur bataana chahungaa ke behr ko sabse acchaa banaane ke liye taktii kar ke likhnaa hi behtar hai...

Matle me dekhen.... aapne ye bahr chunii hai 1222/1222/1212

"chhuupaa savaal hai" chu(1) paa (2) ki takhti hogii 12, jabki behr ke hisaab se hona tha 22.. chupa sawaal hai... 12 1212 jo ki aapko nazar aayega...

koi baat nagawaara guzrii ho to bandaa maafi ka arzmand rahegaa.... likhte rahen, khush rahen..

Shaad...


Shaad...
   
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aadeil
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28th March 2014, 01:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
Aadeil saahab... beech me bolungaa to gustaakhi hogi, magar jab Manu bhai ne khud kahaa thaa ke galtiyaan ya kah len baareeqiyaan bataane ke liye to ek baat aur bataana chahungaa ke behr ko sabse acchaa banaane ke liye taktii kar ke likhnaa hi behtar hai...

Matle me dekhen.... aapne ye bahr chunii hai 1222/1222/1212

"chhuupaa savaal hai" chu(1) paa (2) ki takhti hogii 12, jabki behr ke hisaab se hona tha 22.. chupa sawaal hai... 12 1212 jo ki aapko nazar aayega...

koi baat nagawaara guzrii ho to bandaa maafi ka arzmand rahegaa.... likhte rahen, khush rahen..

Shaad...
Sameerbhai, bilkul gustakhee nahiN hai....

Aur agar aisee bahas ho, tabhee hameN bhee sikhnaa aur jaanna milta hai....

Main toh maanta hooN ki har ek kee rachna/tehreer pe isee tarah se tabdeeriyaN honee chahiye.... ye ek healthy discussion kee tarah leke uspe nukte na hoN bas.....

toh hum kahenge ki aapne bilkul sahee farmaayaa aur ye meree nazar andaazee thee, jiske liye maiN muaafee chaahoonga....

aap yahaaN 'chhupaa' ki jagah 'chhupke' istemaal kare toh shaayad takhti sahi baithtee hai...

-------------
dusree baat ki, unhon ne matle ke kafiye kuch yuN rakhe haiN...

Meri aankkho me jo chhuupe savaal hain
Mahobbat ka teri hee woh malaal hain

toh, har ek sher men kafiye ka {l} silent rakh sakte haiN...

unko iss men flexibility miltee hai, jahaan tak dhun sahee ho, aur wo bhee maujood hai.... jaise ki,
savaal
malaal
khayaal
kamaal
vishaal
yeh haal
muhaal
mishaal

iss liye, maine farmaayaa ki wo standard beher (1222/1222/122) ka istemaal kar sakte the aur unheN non-standard beher banaane kee zaroorat nahiN hai.....


aapka bahot bahot shukriya, Sameerbhai .................



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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Last edited by aadeil; 28th March 2014 at 02:00 PM..
   
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Smile behad shukriya dosto - 14th October 2014, 10:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mohammad Kashif View Post
Aadaab Acharye Ji

Kese hain aap ?

Janaab kafi arse ke baad yanha ana hua to aapki umda gazal padhi hamesha ki tarha is baar bhi kamaal kar diya hai aapne, ese hi likhte rahiya aur apna bahut khayal rakhiye.....daad hazir hai.......T C

Aapka dost
Quote:
Originally Posted by acharya_mj View Post
Dosto.n kaafee arse ke baad ek ghazal paise-khidmat mai hai, behr kuchh is tarah hai 1222/1222/1212. insallah pasand aaye to qubool farmaiyega, aur ye naacheez aap ki raay ka muntziir bhi rahega agar koi ghalti bhi nazar aaye to bataaiyega zaroor

Meri aankkho me jo chhuupe savaal hain
Mahobbat ka teri hee woh malaal hain

Na tumhe chhoo ke gujre gham koii kabhi
Meri sab rehmato me yeh khayaal hai

Mukammal ho gayi kyun phir ghazal meri
Tune jo padh liyaa us ka kamaal hai

Terii hii bewafaayi ka sila hai yeh
Mujhe ashqon se jo itna vishaal hai

Ameerii sab gayi gurbat lo aa gayi
Judaa tum ho gaye tab se yeh haal hai

Tabassum hee tera hai apni jindagii
Tere bin yun to jinaa bhi muhaal hai

Zamana jo puchhe gar kyaa ye ishq hai
Mahobbat hee hamaari ek mishaal hai



aap ki raay ka muntzir
manu
Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post

khushaamdeed manu bhai... arse baad aap tashreef laaye bazm me aur apne is khoobsurat aur bemisaal kalaam ke saath... main aapka tahe dil se istabaal karta hoon.. aur iltijaa karta hoon ke ab aap tashreef laaya karen... bazm aap sabhi members ke aane se hi roshan hai.... likhte raheN.. khush raheN

Shaad...
Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
aadaab Manuji,

Aapkee ghazal hameN behad pasand aayee.
Na tumhe chhoo ke gujre gham koii kabhi
Meri sab rehmato me yeh khayaal hai

Ameerii sab gayi gurbat lo aa gayi
Judaa tum ho gaye tab se yeh haal hai

waah... bahot hi umda bayaanaat huii hai. Aapko hamaaree jaanib se daad. aashar bahot hi khubsurat aur jaazib haiN......

aur janaab galti kee to koe gunjaaish hi nahiN hai..............

aapne ek non-standard beher banaayee hai aur iska khubsurat istimaal kiya hai. gaur kijiye, aapki ye beher (hazaj musaddas maḥżuf) "1222/1222/122" ke bilkul qarib hai. sirf ek rukn ko agar aap adjust kareN to aapki ye ghazal ees beher men bhee bitha sakte haiN. bas ek mashwara

Adil ka salaam...............
Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
phir se gaur kiya toh, ye bhee bataanaa chaahunga, ki makte ke radeef men 'haiN' ko badal ke 'hai' hi rakhiye...... sirf ek change karna hoga

Meri aankkho me jo chhuupaa savaal hai
Mahobbat ka teri hee woh malaal hai


kyuN ki aapne bakee ke sabhee ashaar men 'hai' ka hi istemaal kiya hai. agar makte men 'hain' aapkee radeef hai toh puri ghazal men wo hi radeef rehnee zaroori ban jataa hai.

main koii master to hoon nahiN par aapne frank opinion maangaa hai toh, apnee samajh ke mutabeek apnaa opinion dena uchit samjhaa

aapkee tabdeer ka intezaar rahega....

aadaab....
Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
Aadeil saahab... beech me bolungaa to gustaakhi hogi, magar jab Manu bhai ne khud kahaa thaa ke galtiyaan ya kah len baareeqiyaan bataane ke liye to ek baat aur bataana chahungaa ke behr ko sabse acchaa banaane ke liye taktii kar ke likhnaa hi behtar hai...

Matle me dekhen.... aapne ye bahr chunii hai 1222/1222/1212

"chhuupaa savaal hai" chu(1) paa (2) ki takhti hogii 12, jabki behr ke hisaab se hona tha 22.. chupa sawaal hai... 12 1212 jo ki aapko nazar aayega...

koi baat nagawaara guzrii ho to bandaa maafi ka arzmand rahegaa.... likhte rahen, khush rahen..

Shaad...
Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
Sameerbhai, bilkul gustakhee nahiN hai....

Aur agar aisee bahas ho, tabhee hameN bhee sikhnaa aur jaanna milta hai....

Main toh maanta hooN ki har ek kee rachna/tehreer pe isee tarah se tabdeeriyaN honee chahiye.... ye ek healthy discussion kee tarah leke uspe nukte na hoN bas.....

toh hum kahenge ki aapne bilkul sahee farmaayaa aur ye meree nazar andaazee thee, jiske liye maiN muaafee chaahoonga....

aap yahaaN 'chhupaa' ki jagah 'chhupke' istemaal kare toh shaayad takhti sahi baithtee hai...

-------------
dusree baat ki, unhon ne matle ke kafiye kuch yuN rakhe haiN...

Meri aankkho me jo chhuupe savaal hain
Mahobbat ka teri hee woh malaal hain

toh, har ek sher men kafiye ka {l} silent rakh sakte haiN...

unko iss men flexibility miltee hai, jahaan tak dhun sahee ho, aur wo bhee maujood hai.... jaise ki,
savaal
malaal
khayaal
kamaal
vishaal
yeh haal
muhaal
mishaal

iss liye, maine farmaayaa ki wo standard beher (1222/1222/122) ka istemaal kar sakte the aur unheN non-standard beher banaane kee zaroorat nahiN hai.....


aapka bahot bahot shukriya, Sameerbhai .................
Dosto.N aap sab ka bahut bahut shukriya ki is naacheez ki ghazal ko aap ne pasand kiya, aur mujhe ye jaan kar behad khushi hui ki is ghazal ke bahaane aur is ghazal par quafee dosto.N ne apne mashahvre diye jo kii quaabil-e-taariif hai, yahi ek jagah hai, ki is tarah ki guftagu se qaafi kuchh sheekhne ko milta hai. ghazal ko behr me likhna bahut mashakkat ka kaam hai,agar koi ye sheekh leta hai to hunar me chaar chaand lag jaate hai aur saath mai ghazal ko bhi....mujhe behad khushi huii ke meri ghazal is qaabil bani ke aap logo ne us par itna gaur farmaaya aur guftagu kii.

behad shukragujaar hoon aap sabhi dosto.N ka.
regards

manu

Last edited by acharya_mj; 14th October 2014 at 10:07 PM.. Reason: minor change
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sunita thakur
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14th October 2014, 10:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by acharya_mj View Post
Dosto.n kaafee arse ke baad ek ghazal paise-khidmat mai hai, behr kuchh is tarah hai 1222/1222/1212. insallah pasand aaye to qubool farmaiyega, aur ye naacheez aap ki raay ka muntziir bhi rahega agar koi ghalti bhi nazar aaye to bataaiyega zaroor

Meri aankkho me jo chhuupe savaal hain
Mahobbat ka teri hee woh malaal hain

Na tumhe chhoo ke gujre gham koii kabhi
Meri sab rehmato me yeh khayaal hai

Mukammal ho gayi kyun phir ghazal meri
Tune jo padh liyaa us ka kamaal hai

Terii hii bewafaayi ka sila hai yeh
Mujhe ashqon se jo itna vishaal hai

Ameerii sab gayi gurbat lo aa gayi
Judaa tum ho gaye tab se yeh haal hai

Tabassum hee tera hai apni jindagii
Tere bin yun to jinaa bhi muhaal hai

Zamana jo puchhe gar kyaa ye ishq hai
Mahobbat hee hamaari ek mishaal hai



aap ki raay ka muntzir
manu


Manu ji namaskaar

bahut khoobsurat ehsaas padne ka mokka diya hai aapne...bahut bahut shukriya.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


.....Sunita Thakur.....

यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...


   
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adaab miya.n - 14th October 2014, 10:36 PM

manu bhai ko raj ka namaskaar...bhut khub gazal kahi miya.n aapne...har ashaar ba kamaal hai...lakin aadil bhai ki baat bilkul darust hai..radeef same hona chahiye..Raj..


un se kar liya kinara unki khushi ki khatir
ab mujhe bewafa kahiye ya bawafa kahiye...(Raj)
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14th October 2014, 11:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by acharya_mj View Post
Dosto.n kaafee arse ke baad ek ghazal paise-khidmat mai hai, behr kuchh is tarah hai 1222/1222/1212. insallah pasand aaye to qubool farmaiyega, aur ye naacheez aap ki raay ka muntziir bhi rahega agar koi ghalti bhi nazar aaye to bataaiyega zaroor

Meri aankkho me jo chhuupe savaal hain
Mahobbat ka teri hee woh malaal hain

Na tumhe chhoo ke gujre gham koii kabhi
Meri sab rehmato me yeh khayaal hai

Mukammal ho gayi kyun phir ghazal meri
Tune jo padh liyaa us ka kamaal hai

Terii hii bewafaayi ka sila hai yeh
Mujhe ashqon se jo itna vishaal hai

Ameerii sab gayi gurbat lo aa gayi
Judaa tum ho gaye tab se yeh haal hai

Tabassum hee tera hai apni jindagii
Tere bin yun to jinaa bhi muhaal hai

Zamana jo puchhe gar kyaa ye ishq hai
Mahobbat hee hamaari ek mishaal hai



aap ki raay ka muntzir
manu
Waah Manu, aapke ehsaas-o-aashaar dono hi bahut khoob hain... Arse baad likh rahe hain, ravani wahi hai... dil se daad kubool karo... Likhte raho


Kab sochaa thha milegaa humsafar "Shweta" jaisaa
Lagta hai is baar "Pulkit", kismat teri bhi rang laayii hai
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