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An Incomplite Dream
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Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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Kwahish kar ke tuo bhool jaa -
1st April 2010, 08:24 PM
Deta dard wohi jo kareeb haiN
YahaN koun kiska habeeb haiN
Zindagi maut ke kareeb haiN
Kahi khanjar to kahi saleeb haiN
Dagaa maine kiya ya tune diya
Har naraz bus teri janeeb haiN
Yeh mehfil hai naam waloN kii
Qadar nahi uski jo gareeb haiN
Koi sukuN jite jee mila nahiN
YahaN zindagi hi rakeeb haiN
Kwahish kar ke tuo bhool jaa
Milenga wohi jo naseeb haiN
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Anshumali
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Posts: 7,420
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: DELHI (INDIA)
Rep Power: 86
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1st April 2010, 08:42 PM
Sameer Ji......Aadaab ! aapki Yeh kalam meter me dikhaai di mujhe.....saare ashaar ....umdaa soch......aapke gehraai liye khayal aur behtreen adaayegi .... tamaam Ghazal ko pur asar banati lagi......matle se maqte tak......very nice creation.....
Yeh do sheyr dil ke khaas qareeb rahe.....
Zindagi maut ke kareeb haiN
Kahi khanjar to kahi saleeb haiN
Dagaa maine kiya ya tune diya
Har naraz bus teri janeeb haiN
tahe dil se daad hazir hai....qubuul farmaayen....
yunhi likhte rahen....khush rahen.....
apna khayal rakhen...
duaaon ke saath.....
YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN
Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ...
Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh
Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ...
---Naresh Mehra----
Last edited by naresh_mehra110; 1st April 2010 at 09:07 PM..
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Registered User
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Posts: 1,089
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Toronto,Canada
Rep Power: 31
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1st April 2010, 09:04 PM
Sameer jee,
Aadaab!!!
kaise hain aap? ghazal pasand aayii ... bas akhirr ka sher dil ke kareeb raha aur saacha bhi hain,
Kwahish kar ke tuo bhool jaa
Milenga wohi jo naseeb haiN
LIKHETY RAHE...
mehfil ko saajatey rahe...
khush rahe
duaaon ke saath
mandeep
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masttt...
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Posts: 2,151
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Chandigarh
Rep Power: 40
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2nd April 2010, 02:26 PM
khwahish saheb kaise hain aap...?
lagta hai aapne humaari baat ko rakh liya....behad khushi hui....
aapki ghazal bahut hi badhiya hai....daad qubuul kijiyega.....
bas sirf ek chhoti si baat kehna chahta hooN i's umm'eed ke saath ki aapko bura nahi lagega.....
janaab "hai" ki jagha "haiN" istemaal karne se aapki ghazal kuchh 19 reh gayee....jahaN bhi aapne "haiN" ka istemaal kiya hai wahaN qayde se "hai" ka istemaal hona chahiye tha.....
baqi i's ghazal ke ehsaas behad badhiya lage....
yuN hi aate rahiye mehfil meiN....
apna khayal rakhiye.....
likhte rahiye....
duago,
masttt....
'E Taahire Laahuti!!!
Uss Rizk Se Tau Maut Bhali
Jis Rizk Se Aatee Ho
Tere Parwaaz MeiN Kotaahi....
vikramjethi@gmail.com
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RooH Se RooH Tak
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Posts: 1,247
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 53
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2nd April 2010, 05:59 PM
Kwahish kar ke tuo bhool jaa
Milenga wohi jo naseeb haiN
Ji yeh sher bahut khoob raha. dil se daad..
Radhika
Seene Me Zakham Utarey Chale Gaye
Jo Humpe Guzari Guzarey Chale Gaye
Woh Aayega Ek Din Milne Humse
Naam Uska Hi Pukarey Chale Gaye
E-mail : radhika.nm2@gmail.com
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Registered User
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Posts: 1,849
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Mumbai
Rep Power: 32
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2nd April 2010, 06:00 PM
Kya mamla hai mere bhai.........kafi diljale se lag rahe ho............ajeeb si talkhi mehsoos ho rahi hai shero me.........Allah mere is pyare bhai ki har pareshani ko door kar de.
Bohat khoobsurat peshkash hai.....
Jhoot kehdu yeh meri fitrat me nahi shamil
Par tujhe bevafa bhi kehna achcha nahi lagta...
Mob.: +971 501297654
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Some Mirrors Lie...
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Posts: 3,133
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Shehr-e-husn
Rep Power: 44
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3rd April 2010, 08:09 AM
Sameer Bhai,
Wah bhai, aap ki dard se bharpoor yeh ghazal mujhe be-had
pasan aayi .....
Daad qabool kijiye....
Lekin bhai aap radeef mein "hai" ko "haiN" likh gaye...
Younhi acha aur achaa likhtay rahiye,
DuaooN k saath ijaazat,
Aap ka Bhai,,
*hSn* : parStaar
tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN... ("Asad")
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Loquacious Adonis
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Posts: 2,700
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: ......
Rep Power: 23
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3rd April 2010, 11:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sajid_ghayel
Kya mamla hai mere bhai.........kafi diljale se lag rahe ho............ajeeb si talkhi mehsoos ho rahi hai shero me.........Allah mere is pyare bhai ki har pareshani ko door kar de.
Bohat khoobsurat peshkash hai.....
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hahaha............Dil jala tou hai hi wo...aur uske zakm par mein namak mein lagata rehta hoon
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Registered User
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Posts: 1,849
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Mumbai
Rep Power: 32
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3rd April 2010, 01:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baqtiar
hahaha............Dil jala tou hai hi wo...aur uske zakm par mein namak mein lagata rehta hoon
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Baqtiar saheb jab namak laga hi rahe hai............to achhci quality ka hi lagana jaise Tata Namak...
Jhoot kehdu yeh meri fitrat me nahi shamil
Par tujhe bevafa bhi kehna achcha nahi lagta...
Mob.: +971 501297654
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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3rd April 2010, 03:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by naresh_mehra110
Sameer Ji......Aadaab ! aapki Yeh kalam meter me dikhaai di mujhe.....saare ashaar ....umdaa soch......aapke gehraai liye khayal aur behtreen adaayegi .... tamaam Ghazal ko pur asar banati lagi......matle se maqte tak......very nice creation.....
Yeh do sheyr dil ke khaas qareeb rahe.....
Zindagi maut ke kareeb haiN
Kahi khanjar to kahi saleeb haiN
Dagaa maine kiya ya tune diya
Har naraz bus teri janeeb haiN
tahe dil se daad hazir hai....qubuul farmaayen....
yunhi likhte rahen....khush rahen.....
apna khayal rakhen...
duaaon ke saath.....
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Naresh Jee AadaaB!
Tarif wa hounsla afzai ka tahe dil se shukra guzar huN........
Aage bhi apna saath banaye rakhiye,
Khush rahiye,
Khuda Hafez.........
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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4th April 2010, 02:08 PM
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MaiN Our Meri Tanhaayii
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Posts: 984
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 31
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4th April 2010, 09:59 PM
Deta dard wohi jo kareeb haiN
YahaN koun kiska habeeb haiN
waah janaab kya baat hai khwaaiish ji bahooot khooob....ek bahoot hi khoobsoorat tehreer pesh ki hai janaab...merii jaanib se dhairoN daad haajir haiN....
khush raheiN
Harash
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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5th April 2010, 01:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by vikramjethi
khwahish saheb kaise hain aap...?
lagta hai aapne humaari baat ko rakh liya....behad khushi hui....
aapki ghazal bahut hi badhiya hai....daad qubuul kijiyega.....
bas sirf ek chhoti si baat kehna chahta hooN i's umm'eed ke saath ki aapko bura nahi lagega.....
janaab "hai" ki jagha "haiN" istemaal karne se aapki ghazal kuchh 19 reh gayee....jahaN bhi aapne "haiN" ka istemaal kiya hai wahaN qayde se "hai" ka istemaal hona chahiye tha.....
baqi i's ghazal ke ehsaas behad badhiya lage....
yuN hi aate rahiye mehfil meiN....
apna khayal rakhiye.....
likhte rahiye....
duago,
masttt....
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Vikram bhai Aadaab
Jee hum khariyat se hia ummid hai aap bhi khairiyat se honge....
Jee aap doston ki baat rakhna bhi zaruri tha, aur aapne jo bataya hai main usse samjhne ki koshish karunga coz mujhe iska ilm nahi ke hai aur haiN kahan aur kaise istemal karte hai,....
Daad ke liye shukriyaa ...
Aage bhi saath banaye rakhiye,
Khush rhiaye,
Khuda Hafez........
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masttt...
Offline
Posts: 2,151
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Chandigarh
Rep Power: 40
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5th April 2010, 05:42 PM
bahut achha kiya janaab, hum aapke shukguzaar haiN.....
ab rahi baat "hai" aur "haiN" ki to bhai agar main aapko na bata sakuN to mujhe likhne ka hi haq nahi tha....ek link de raha hooN, zaroor padhiyega....kaam aayega....
http://www.shayri.com/forums/showthread.php?t=68702
na kaam bane to bataiyega....aur kisi tarha koshish kareNge...
'E Taahire Laahuti!!!
Uss Rizk Se Tau Maut Bhali
Jis Rizk Se Aatee Ho
Tere Parwaaz MeiN Kotaahi....
vikramjethi@gmail.com
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An Incomplite Dream
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Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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6th April 2010, 02:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by vikramjethi
bahut achha kiya janaab, hum aapke shukguzaar haiN.....
ab rahi baat "hai" aur "haiN" ki to bhai agar main aapko na bata sakuN to mujhe likhne ka hi haq nahi tha....ek link de raha hooN, zaroor padhiyega....kaam aayega....
http://www.shayri.com/forums/showthread.php?t=68702
na kaam bane to bataiyega....aur kisi tarha koshish kareNge...
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J vikram jee main samjh gaya..... Aapka bahut bahut shukriyaa...
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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10th April 2010, 04:15 PM
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Registered User
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Posts: 521
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Location: New Delhi
Rep Power: 18
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10th April 2010, 05:03 PM
Khwahish ji,
Aapki Ghazal bohat achhi lagi Daad kubul kijiye!
Aur muskurate rahiye!
Mann
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