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phool ki dhaar |
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(#1)
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phool ki dhaar -
8th October 2010, 01:52 PM
mahfil ko mera salaam.....
aaj ek experimental ghazal kah raha hu....isme mera ek experiment hai.... sabhi dosto se guzaarish hai ki iska tabsirah zarur karen aur saare positive aur negative saamne laaye aap........ kyuki mere experoment ka result aapke opinion se hi mil sakta hai....ho sake to apne opinion ko qualify kijiye...jisse ki opinion ki wajah bhi pata chal sake..... sabko phir se tabsireh ka nyota deta hu.... ummed hai aap meri help karenge.,.. ungliyo se phool ki mai dhaar dekhta raha baarisho me ankhe askhbaar dekhta raha muskuraahato ki shikan aaj bhi hai chehre par aaine me waqt ka ubhaar dekhta raha meri saanse hi mere gunaah ke gawaah hai qatl ke subuut baar baar dekhta raha surkh or siyaah the peshaniyo ke vo tilak saamne samaadhi ke mazaar dekhta raha naqd jaan zidd meri lagi huii thi daav par beete huye daur ka udhaar dekhta raha regards |
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(#2)
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devil ! forgive me
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Location: MUMBAI PATIALA
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8th October 2010, 02:05 PM
bahut hi khoobsoorat gazal hai. dilo jaan se daad
07666027379,09041116001,09876442643, 09417142513,09914097007,09625494246 Mail: parveenkomal@parveenkomal.com www.parveenkomal.com/blog { BURA NA SUNENGE BURA NA DEKHENGE BURA NA BOLENGE ACHHA LIKHENGE,KOI BURA KAHEGA TO KHUD KO TATOLENGE }  Wohi rizq deta jahaan ko , wohi zaat sab se azeem hai Meri muflisi pe na hans ke wo , tera taaj sar se giraa na de }QadeerToopchi{ |
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(#3)
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RADHE RADHE
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8th October 2010, 02:13 PM
Quote:
zidd bhai radhe radhe wah zidd bhai tapsara karne ki kaabliyat to nahi hai par itna kahunga bahut khoob achha likha hai aapne pasand aaya har tarah se khoob likha hai dil se daad duaon ke saath Aapka Apna Ishk 'इश्क' के बदले इश्क चाहना तिजारत है इज़हार किससे करें महबूब तो दिल में है email: rkm179@gmail.com 
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(#4)
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8th October 2010, 04:36 PM
Quote:
aadaab zidd bhai ghazal pe aap ne naye tajurbaat lafzee w manawi donon hi etebaar se karne ki koshish kihai ab is kaa faisalah to aane waalaa kal hi karega rahaa sawaal meraa to main har jagah har mod par wus"at ka qaael hun main aise logon ko dil se pasand kartaa hun jo wus"ate qalbi ke saath taameeri kaam anjaam denaa chaahite hain meree dher saaree doaayen aap ke liye allah kare ki aap ko aap ke hisse kaa aasmaan mil jaaye doa go hassaas |
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(#5)
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Sifar
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Location: Dubai, UAE
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8th October 2010, 09:08 PM
ungliyo se phool ki mai dhaar dekhta raha
baarisho me ankhe askhbaar dekhta raha Matle ki shuruwaat hi is kalaam ki jaan hai .. mera pasandeeda khyaal keh sakte ho ise .. ungliyon se phool dhaar dekh rahe ho .. wah waah ... aur phir ek aur gehra khyaal ki barisho main ashqbaar aankheN .. ya yun kahiye .. asho ki baarish se bheegi aaNkheN .. subhaan allah ... muskuraahato ki shikan aaj bhi hai chehre par aaine me waqt ka ubhaar dekhta raha ye bhi ek dilfareb khyaal hai .. jo kal ko aaj ko aur phir kal ko pesh karta hai .. us pe insaani soch ko chada diya hai aapne .. bohat khoob ... wordplay bhi khaas hai ... meri saanse hi mere gunaah ke gawaah hai qatl ke subuut baar baar dekhta raha accha khyaal hai ... surkh or siyaah the peshaniyo ke vo tilak saamne samaadhi ke mazaar dekhta raha accha hai par ita accha nahi ... mere hisaab se... naqd jaan zidd meri lagi huii thi daav par beete huye daur ka udhaar dekhta raha ye bhi bohat dilfareb khyaal hai .. dekha jaye t wordplay ka kamaal hai saara .. ki ek bohat aam si baat bhi khaas ho jaati hai .. yahi umda shayri hai .. bohat khoob ek bohat khoob peshkash pe meri dheroN daad .. aapke naam Kunaal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#6)
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Registered User
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8th October 2010, 09:53 PM
mahfil ko mera salaam.....
aaj ek experimental ghazal kah raha hu....isme mera ek experiment hai.... sabhi dosto se guzaarish hai ki iska tabsirah zarur karen aur saare positive aur negative saamne laaye aap........ kyuki mere experoment ka result aapke opinion se hi mil sakta hai....ho sake to apne opinion ko qualify kijiye...jisse ki opinion ki wajah bhi pata chal sake..... sabko phir se tabsireh ka nyota deta hu.... ummed hai aap meri help karenge.,.. ungliyo se phool ki mai dhaar dekhta raha baarisho me ankhe askhbaar dekhta raha waqaii matla to baDa hi khoob nikaala hai aapne, khoob ehsaas ko touch kia hai aapne, lafz phool ki dhaar ka istemaal bhi yaqeenan bilkul nadar khyaal hai, misra oola yaqeenan beshumaar daad ka mustahiq hai, saani ka istemaal zahir hai barish ki boondoN ka istemaal ashqoN ke liyN barha kia gaya hai magr jo meri shoch hai aur zahir hai ke meiN us vusat ke saath to nahi soch sakta jo aapke pass hai magr misre oola se jo baat aapne kahi hai uske maade nazar ye khyaal bhut khoob jaata hai aur munfarid bhi karta hai apne aap ko, to yaqeenan aapka expriment meri nazr mai to mashaAllah bhut khoob hai magr ye zahir hai ek no-amooz aur ek talib e ilm ki soch hai is par husn e zan aur khoona mashq shyar hazaraat kaya kahenge wo to wahi jaanti honge  daad behad o behisaab qubool keejiyemeri saanse hi mere gunaah ke gawaah hai qatl ke subuut baar baar dekhta raha hmmm....ek to "hai" ko "haiN" mai tabdeel keejiye zahir hai aapne jama hi istemaal kia hoga magr paDne mai wahid nazar aa raha hai, (Roman ka masla hai), dusre ye ke "meri saanseIN hi, mere gunaah, "ke" ki jagh "ki" ka istemaal hoga kyunki aapne gunaah ki gawaah aapki saanseiN bataaii haiN, jaanta huN ke lafz "ki" ka istemaal urdu adab ke hisaab se bhut acha nahi maana jata hai magr yahaN shayd agar lafz "ki" aap istemaal nahi karenge to phir wahi "muzakkar aur moannas" ka maamla nazar dar paish hoga, phir bhi agr aap is baat se ittefaaq nahi rakhte haiN to mujhay sufisadii kuch seekhne ko milega aapse is maslem mai bhi, khyaal khoob hai daad hazir hai qubool keejiye surkh or siyaah the peshaniyo ke vo tilak saamne samaadhi ke mazaar dekhta raha acha ehsaas dor e hazir ke hisaab se bhi, zahir hai ye khyaal shayad har us shqs ke dil mai mojood hoga jiko insaniyat se mohbaat hogi, insaanit is dard ko apne rag o pa mai paiwast hota mehsood karti rahi hai, bhut khoob daad hazir hai naqd jaan zidd meri lagi huii thi daav par beete huye daur ka udhaar dekhta raha kya khoob istemaal hai naqd jaan ka waah, mujh jaise adna soch ke maalik is sher ko samjne ke liyN shayad is par nazr e saani zaroor karenge magr jab ye khyaal unke zehne ko mehsoos karega to aap par behad aur behisaab daad hogi, bhut khoob aur lajawaab daad qubool keejiye aapki ghazal ne bhut mut'assir jo baat nazr se guzari usko dil se kaha hai agr aapko meri koi baat giraaN guzri ho to uske liyN maazrat khwaah huN, aapse bhut kuch seekha hai aur seekhte rahenge, amooman aise tabsaroN se guraiz karta huN jo ki kisi ki dil shikni ka bais baneiN, hamesha hi wo hi cheez talaash karta huN jo kisi ne achi kahi hai, wo sirf aur sirf iliyN ke apne aap ko is qabil nahi samjhta ke meiN kisi par tanqeed kar sakuN, choonKi aapne ijaazat di hai tabsare ki to wahi baat kahi hai jo mehsoos ki, ek baar phir aapke is munfarid khyaal ke liyN aapki khidmat mai daad hazir hai, qubool keejiye with reps++++++++++ aslam behta dariya hu.n mujhy haath se choo kar daikho |
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(#7)
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Anshumali
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Location: DELHI (INDIA)
Rep Power: 87
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9th October 2010, 01:37 AM
Zidd Sahab ... Aadaab ! Sabhi Ashaar Mehfil Me Apni Taazgi Ki Mehak Bikherte Nazar Aaye ... Aur Maine Jab Se Aapne Yeh Ghazal Pesh Ki Hai ... Kitni Martbaa Padh Chuuka ... Mujhe Theek Se Yaad Nahi .... Kuch Isme Aisaa Khaas Zarur Hai .... Jis baat ne Mujhe baar baar padhne ko mazboor kiya hai .....
ungliyo se phool ki mai dhaar dekhta raha baarisho me ankhe askhbaar dekhta raha Matla Pehli Nazar Me Mann ko Bhiigo Gaya .... iska khayal Amazing Raha Har Liihaaz se .... muskuraahato ki shikan aaj bhi hai chehre par aaine me waqt ka ubhaar dekhta raha Yeh ashaar Jeevan me bahut kuch haasil karne ke baad bhi ... kuch baaki reh jaane ko darshaata saa laga mujhe ..... bahut khoobi se aapne ise adaa kiya hai ... padhte hi banta hai .... meri saanse hi mere gunaah ke gawaah hai qatl ke subuut baar baar dekhta raha Khud se Juujhte Nazar aanaa ... koi aapke iss ashaar me asaani se dekh aur seekh sakta hai .....behtreen sher laga mujhe .... aur kya kahu iske baare me ... jabki apne andar me jhaanknaa kitnaa mushkil hotaa har ek liye ..... surkh or siyaah the peshaniyo ke vo tilak saamne samaadhi ke mazaar dekhta raha Bahut hi khoobi se aur bahut umdaa tariike se maanviye dard ko yahaa aapne ukerne ki koshish ki hai .... bahut accha laga iss sher ko padhna ... mera pasandidah bhi raha ..... naqd jaan zidd meri lagi huii thi daav par beete huye daur ka udhaar dekhta raha hahahahahaha.... zidd Sahab Kamaal Ka Raha aapka Maqtaa .... Ghazal ka Main isse haasil sher kahunga .... beete hue daur ko dekhne se sirf pashchaataavaa hi haath lagta hai .... aisa yaanhaa aapne dikhaane ki koshish ki ......... Ek superB Creation ... Tahe dil se DheroN Daad .... shaayad Woh bhi kam padh jaayeN .... Reps Added Rachna hote bhi .........Mian abhi nahi de paa raha hoon .... aage jaise mauka laga .... phir aaunga dene .... Maine toh aapki ghazal ko is tarha samjha aur jaanaa ... baaki aapne isse jin khayaloN ke saath likha hai .... woh aap hi bataa paayenge .... behtar tariike se .... kul milaakar pariyogaatmak rachnaa ka koi jawaab nahi .... Very Impressive Indeed ! aise hi umdaa khayaloN ke saath aate rahe aur humeshaa aapko padhte rahe aage bhi .... khush jo aap rehte hi hai .... Apna khayal bhi theek se rakhte hi hai .... Bas ... DuaaoN ke saath .....  YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ... Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ... ---Naresh Mehra---- |
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(#8)
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~"REBELLIOUS IN LOVE"~
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Location: Ruatonga, Cook Islands
Rep Power: 52
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9th October 2010, 07:49 AM
Quote:
keep sharing Regards _______________________________________________ PRANEETA
 Kaash k khamoshi bhi ek zabaaN hoti Main dekta rehta unhe aur haal-e-dil bayaaN hota Ananthpak |
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(#9)
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Registered User
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Location: Mumbai
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9th October 2010, 05:32 PM
I only had to say what Masood saheb have said..........wish you luck brother.
Par tujhe bevafa bhi kehna achcha nahi lagta... Mob.: +971 501297654
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(#10)
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Sifar
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Location: Dubai, UAE
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10th October 2010, 06:07 PM
Quote:
Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#11)
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Aapki dost
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11th October 2010, 03:34 PM
Well !!..Actually aysi ghazaloN ko maiN postgraduate level ki ghazal kehti huuN, jo pehli baar padhne per kuch bhi samajh na aaye, aur jab dubaara padha jaaye, ya baar baar padha jaaye tou ghazal ke her ek sher me chupi gehraayi samajh me aati hai,
Infact har baar naya lagta hai, har baar kuch naya samajh me aata hai.. Sabhi ashaar lajawaab hai Zidd sahab,,jitni bhi tareef karuN kam hai.. Tabsira tou khair dusre members karenge hi Main tou is ghazal ki tareef me sirf ek hi lafz keh sakti huuN "SUPERB"!!................. Zainy PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya... Nm |
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(#12)
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Banned
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Location: New Delhi
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11th October 2010, 03:44 PM
Quote:
apni rai to ab abhisekh bacchan ke paas hi hai, |
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(#13)
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RooH Se RooH Tak
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Location: Delhi
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11th October 2010, 04:26 PM
Quote:
aaine me waqt ka ubhaar dekhta raha meri saanse hi mere gunaah ke gawaah hai qatl ke subuut baar baar dekhta raha ji very nice.................... Radhika  Seene Me Zakham Utarey Chale Gaye Jo Humpe Guzari Guzarey Chale Gaye Woh Aayega Ek Din Milne Humse Naam Uska Hi Pukarey Chale Gaye E-mail : radhika.nm2@gmail.com |
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(#14)
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Registered User
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Location: Mumbai
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12th October 2010, 12:18 PM
Quote:
 Par tujhe bevafa bhi kehna achcha nahi lagta... Mob.: +971 501297654
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(#15)
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Banned
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Location: New Delhi
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12th October 2010, 04:02 PM
bhayee
mujhe nahi achi lagi ...........  sach kahuN bilkul bhi nahi |
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(#16)
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Registered User
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20th January 2011, 09:25 AM
Quote:
jald aaoo bhai... dilo jaan se di daad ,jaano dil se kabuuul bhai... aur jald miliye... aapke bina to sdc par virani chayi hai aaoo,phir se koi competion karte hai.... is baar billi ki jagah ,sabko magarmach dikhate hai regards |
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(#17)
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~$uper M0der@tor~
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20th January 2011, 11:30 AM
Quote:
Janab Zidd saahab Aadab... ek aur dilfareb pur-lutf kalam ke liye meri taraf se daade-raushan haazir hain.... kya khoob sher hain miyana maza aa gaya... muskuraahato ki shikan aaj bhi hai chehre par aaine me waqt ka ubhaar dekhta raha meri saanse hi mere gunaah ke gawaah hai qatl ke subuut baar baar dekhta raha in do sheron ke sadqe jaaun... mashallah qayaamat.. Aakhiri sher ke liye alag se kahunga ki ye haasile gahzal raha... likhte rahen.. Duaao me yaad rakhen.. shaad... |
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(#18)
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Registered User
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20th January 2011, 10:58 PM
originally posted by Zidd
ungliyo se phool ki mai dhaar dekhta raha pata nahi yaNha bhanwra kya hai...........katil ya aashiq..? bahut hi khoob rahi aap ye gazal...sab ke bas ki baat anhi is trah ka likh paana.badhai ho aap ko... rajinderseep |
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(#19)
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Registered User
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23rd February 2011, 05:53 PM
Quote:
sabko kuch na kuch to dusre se jyada pata hi hota hai..... anyways..apki daad sar ankho par..... yu hi milte rahiye regards |
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Waah! |
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(#20)
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Waah! -
23rd February 2011, 07:27 PM
Quote:
Bhai, I believe you're a master of understating. I beleive aapka ye experiment apni ghazl se kam hum naazreen per zyada hai. I believe its a piece of art I mean your ghazal, not just any ordinary piece at that. And you're experimenting with your audience, how they understand , what they interprete and how they react, becuase I've read this one, line by line, and focussed on its overall meaning and the meanings line by line. Its a beautifully arranged puzzle when you read it the first time and then you read again it clears up and then it has a different meaning all over again. I have to say that I am clapping my hands at your talent! Zabardast! Khush Rahein! |
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