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iraadon ki shamsheer ...!!!
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manoj kureel
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iraadon ki shamsheer ...!!! - 20th June 2006, 03:15 PM

aadab doston
bahot dinon se is gazal ki yeh chaar line likhi rakhi thi,,,socha tha fursat mili to aur kuch sher jod kar,,gazal ko aur sudhaar kar pesh karunga,,magar rojgaar ki masroofiyat ke chalte yeh mumkin nahin ho saka,,,isliye yeh gazal aapki nazar karta hoon,,,jaisi bhi hai..kubool kijiye....



kat jayenge raahon ke andhere iraadon ki shamsheer se
jung jaari rahe gar tere hauslon ki taqdeer se

ufanti mauzein chattanon ka jaise imtihaan leti hai
takraye pasina kuch is tarah muqaddar ki janzeer se

bujurgoan ke dikhaye raaste hi manzil tak le jate hai
raah dikha kar juda ho jana hai kamaan ko teer se

haarne ke liye kuch tha nahin,jeetne ko dunia hai
kya le jayegi jindagi "kureel" ham jaise fakeer se

-MANOJ KUREEL


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veryog
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20th June 2006, 03:24 PM

sorry urdu bahot jyada hai

kuch bhi samajh mai nahi aaya

kuch eysa likho ke har koi samajh sake

mean har koi
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manoj kureel
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20th June 2006, 03:58 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by veryog
sorry urdu bahot jyada hai

kuch bhi samajh mai nahi aaya

kuch eysa likho ke har koi samajh sake

mean har koi

dost
meri nazar mein urdu jubaan hi wo saagar hai jo apne ander shayri ke khajane chpaye rakhta hai...is sagar mein doob kar hi gazlon ke gauhar nikale ja sakte hai...waise meine jo bhi "kankad-pathar" yahan sajaye hai,,meri nazar mein wo itne bhi bad_rang nahin jo pehchane na ja sake..bas nazar -nazar ka feir hai...khair..aapne fir bhi is naacheez ke kalaam par nazar-e-inaayat ki,,iske liye aapka shukrguzar hoon.
-MANOJ


apne usoolon par ham apne andaaz se chalte hai
karte hai jo "kureel" se gila karte rahein.
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Re: iraadon ki shamsheer ...!!!
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sakhi1909
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Re: iraadon ki shamsheer ...!!! - 20th June 2006, 05:57 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by manoj kureel


kat jayenge raahon ke andhere iraadon ki shamsheer se
jung jaari rahe gar tere hauslon ki taqdeer se

ufanti mauzein chattanon ka jaise imtihaan leti hai
takraye pasina kuch is tarah muqaddar ki janzeer se

bujurgoan ke dikhaye raaste hi manzil tak le jate hai
raah dikha kar juda ho jana hai kamaan ko teer se

haarne ke liye kuch tha nahin,jeetne ko dunia hai
kya le jayegi jindagi "kureel" ham jaise fakeer se

-MANOJ KUREEL
achi likhi hai gazal. jajbaatoin ko dil ki kalam se utara hai apne.

kya khoya hai kya paaya hai sab kismat ka likha hai
koi na bach ke jaa pyegaa upar likhi hui takdeer se

bahut kuch sochte they ham kabhi ye mere dil-e-nadaan
magar sab such nahi hota jo likha hai waqt ki lakeer se

apki gazal mein ye do sher fit na baithey shayd par jo dil mein aaya likh diya.
sakhi


कुछ ऐसे पल जिनको संजोना है ,
शब्दों में पिरोना है , जिससे वो हमारी यादों में महकते रहे
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20th June 2006, 07:35 PM

Manoj Bhai...........

Ek adardaar ghazal pesh ki hai aapne aur kehte hain ki kutch khaas nahi likha...............

ghazal ka maqta sabse jayada dil ko chooa........

daad kabool kijiye........................

aapka apna...............



**(*·.¸(`·.¸ ¸.·´)¸.·*)**
*·.¸Paigaam -e- Aman¸.·*
**(¸.·´(¸.·* *·.¸)`·.¸)**


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
inhan ankhaaon vicho kadi, tere hanju vaghe si.....
aaj ki hoye, jehda ^AMAN^ da lahoo vagda ae......

AMAN RAHI
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Re: iraadon ki shamsheer ...!!!
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Re: iraadon ki shamsheer ...!!! - 20th June 2006, 07:49 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by manoj kureel
aadab doston
bahot dinon se is gazal ki yeh chaar line likhi rakhi thi,,,socha tha fursat mili to aur kuch sher jod kar,,gazal ko aur sudhaar kar pesh karunga,,magar rojgaar ki masroofiyat ke chalte yeh mumkin nahin ho saka,,,isliye yeh gazal aapki nazar karta hoon,,,jaisi bhi hai..kubool kijiye....



kat jayenge raahon ke andhere iraadon ki shamsheer se
jung jaari rahe gar tere hauslon ki taqdeer se

ufanti mauzein chattanon ka jaise imtihaan leti hai
takraye pasina kuch is tarah muqaddar ki janzeer se

bujurgoan ke dikhaye raaste hi manzil tak le jate hai
raah dikha kar juda ho jana hai kamaan ko teer se

haarne ke liye kuch tha nahin,jeetne ko dunia hai
kya le jayegi jindagi "kureel" ham jaise fakeer se

-MANOJ KUREEL
BIna fre-bdal kiye hi ye itni pur-asar lag rahi hai manoj ji humme behad pasand aayi Khaaskar aap jis tareh se buzurgo ko tavajjo dete hain.. jis adab se aap bayaan karte hain apne aap me badh ke hai vo ... i can see a very positive thought coming out of dark surroundings in this...
likhte rahiye yu hi
khayaal rakhiye apna


Pallavi...

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20th June 2006, 07:53 PM

bujurgoan ke dikhaye raaste hi manzil tak le jate hai
raah dikha kar juda ho jana hai kamaan ko teer se.


Waah Waah Waah aur ek baarr.. Phir Waah Waah..

Manoj sahab kya takhayyul ka istemaal kiyaa hai aapne ke beshaQ haqeeqat se bilkool kareeb aur vaabasta manzar baandh diyaa aapne iss sher se.. meri taraf se dheroN daad qubool kijiye..apnaa khayaal rakhiyega.


Ta- Gor Tumhara

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Mayank
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21st June 2006, 01:40 PM

Pyaare Manoj bhaii,

haarne ke liye kuch tha nahin,jeetne ko dunia hai
kya le jayegi jindagi "kureel" ham jaise fakeer se


YuuN to purri ghazal achchhi hai lekin is sher ne to sach meN dil meN talwaar hee fer di hai... Jitnii bhi taarif kee jaaye kam hi hoga... Behatriin khayaal aur andaaz e bayaan bhi utna la-jawaab hai.. sahii gatjodh hai.. Mere jaaniib dher saare daad ke saath mubaarak baad kubuul keejiye...

Mayank



buraa jo dekhan mai.n Chalaa, buraa naa milyaa koye
jo mann Khojaa apnaa to mujh se buraa naa koye


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Re: Re: iraadon ki shamsheer ...!!!
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manoj kureel
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Re: Re: iraadon ki shamsheer ...!!! - 21st June 2006, 05:03 PM

SAKHI JI
NACHEEZ KO PADHNE KE LIYE SHUKRIYA
TAKE CARE
-MANOJ


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manoj kureel
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21st June 2006, 05:04 PM

AMAN BHAI
BAHOT DINON BAAD tumhe yahan dekha...umeed karta hoon sab khairiyat hogi...aapko meri koshish pasand aayi iske liye tah-e-dil se aapka aabhari hoon...
apna khayal ralhiye
-MANOJ


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21st June 2006, 05:36 PM

waah waah waah...
kya khoob likha hai,ise padh ke vakiye me sukoon mila-

haarne ke liye kuch tha nahin,jeetne ko dunia hai
kya le jayegi jindagi "kureel" ham jaise fakeer se


"sanam" chahe zindagi se bas itna
aik mutthi main kaid kar loon,
yeh aasman hai jitna!"
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Re: Re: iraadon ki shamsheer ...!!!
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manoj kureel
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Re: Re: iraadon ki shamsheer ...!!! - 28th June 2006, 05:03 PM

PALLAVI JI
namashkar
behad sukoon mila aapka reply padh kar...laga jaise aapne meri gazlon mein chuppe jazbaaton ko samjha...dil ke gehraaion se mein aapka aabhari hoon...likhte rahiye..apna khayal rkahiye
-MANOJ


apne usoolon par ham apne andaaz se chalte hai
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manoj kureel
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28th June 2006, 05:05 PM

TAALIB BHAI
AABDAB
sir aap jaise naamwaar shaksh jis din meri gazal par aate hai,,wo gazal khaas ban jati hai mere liye....dil se yeh baat keh raha hoon,,,mujhe behad sukoon pahuncha ki aapne is sher ko pasand kiya aur meri kahi baat ko samjha...aapko padh kar likhne ka jazbba mila hai mujhe...dil ki gehraiyon se aapka shukrguzar hoon,,,apna khayal rkahiye..
-MANOJ

..apnaa khayaal rakhiyega. [/B][/QUOTE]


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28th June 2006, 05:17 PM

ufanti mauzein chattanon ka jaise imtihaan leti hai
takraye pasina kuch is tarah muqaddar ki janzeer se

bujurgoan ke dikhaye raaste hi manzil tak le jate hai
raah dikha kar juda ho jana hai kamaan ko teer se

bahut khoob manoj ji,
har baar ki tarah phir ek bahut hi behtareen paishkash aapki.har sher sachhayi se bharpoor.yeh do sher bahut pasand aaye mujhe.
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manoj kureel
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29th June 2006, 11:57 AM

mohtaram janab mayank saheb
aadab
aapki mubaarakbaad sar-aankhon par...aapne apne tamaam ilm-o-hunar ke saath is naacheez ki gazal par apni nazar ki dhoop daali..iske liye yeh khaakhsaar tah-e-dil se aapka ehsaanmand hai...apna khayal rakhiye...
-MANOJ


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manoj kureel
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29th June 2006, 11:58 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by red_ruchika
waah waah waah...
kya khoob likha hai,ise padh ke vakiye me sukoon mila-

haarne ke liye kuch tha nahin,jeetne ko dunia hai
kya le jayegi jindagi "kureel" ham jaise fakeer se
RUCHIKA JI
NAMASHKAR
is sher ko padh kar aapko sukoon mila,,,yeh jaan kar mujhe behad sukoon pahuncha...aapki izzatafzai ke liye tah-e-dil se shukrguzar hoon...take care
-MANOJ


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manoj kureel
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25th August 2006, 07:08 PM

AKELIJAAN SAHIBA
dil se apaka shukrguzar hoon ki aapne mujhe padha aur saraha...apna khayal rkahiye
-MANOJ


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6th May 2009, 03:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by manoj kureel View Post
aadab doston
bahot dinon se is gazal ki yeh chaar line likhi rakhi thi,,,socha tha fursat mili to aur kuch sher jod kar,,gazal ko aur sudhaar kar pesh karunga,,magar rojgaar ki masroofiyat ke chalte yeh mumkin nahin ho saka,,,isliye yeh gazal aapki nazar karta hoon,,,jaisi bhi hai..kubool kijiye....



kat jayenge raahon ke andhere iraadon ki shamsheer se
jung jaari rahe gar tere hauslon ki taqdeer se

ufanti mauzein chattanon ka jaise imtihaan leti hai
takraye pasina kuch is tarah muqaddar ki janzeer se

bujurgoan ke dikhaye raaste hi manzil tak le jate hai
raah dikha kar juda ho jana hai kamaan ko teer se

haarne ke liye kuch tha nahin,jeetne ko dunia hai
kya le jayegi jindagi "kureel" ham jaise fakeer se

-MANOJ KUREEL

bahut khoob............................................. ..!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


.....Sunita Thakur.....

यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...


   
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rkgupta78
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6th May 2009, 09:12 PM

Janab manoj shahab,
bahut koob likha hai aapne. Bagwan apki kalam ko aur takat deeeeeeeeeeeee aur jajbatoon main joshhhhhhhhhh.


R. K. Gupta
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