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(#41)
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Anshumali
  
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Posts: 7,420
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: DELHI (INDIA)
Rep Power: 87
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20th May 2009, 06:02 PM
Quote:
Kshitiz ji ! adaab !! |
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(#42)
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Registered User
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20th May 2009, 07:04 PM
pradhyuman sahab...kaise hai aap....
apke explanation dene ke liya time nikala ..bahot shukriya... you will perhaps understand my difficulty after analysing this sher which has been put to beher by Dheer sahab.. mujh2 se1 mil2na2 te1ra1 yuN2 mujh2 pe1 a1sar2 kar2ta hai me2re1 ho2ne2 ki1 ko1i2 au2r1 kha1bar2 kar2ta2 hai2 by the definition provided by you ( and thats exactly what my problem is) a dipthong will form a syllable. but in the beher system the following dipthongs have been treated like a monophtong(which may also form 2 syllables) for e.g 1] au2r1-- in english AUR would have been a single syllable..but here dheer sahab has broken it into two sounds( two syllables) and treated it like a monophtong.....i.e' 'A' sound and 'R' sound,but unexplicably 'hai2' has not been treated the same way , although it can be broken into 'H' and 'A' sound and has been correctly classified as a dipthong.( by our discussion and not dheer sahabs) how can this be explained? the only possible explanation i fear is that the english syllable system and the beher system work in different ways.... 2] to illustrate my difficulty i will give another e.g the word KOI has been broken into 2 sounds 'ko 1 i 2', in english it would clearly have been a single syllable . in fact to my limited understanding i doubt the integrity of the treatement it has been meted in any logical system. as you can see the 'i' in 'koi' has been given a long,stressed sound agaist'ko' ...now i never heard anyone speak the 'i' in 'koi' as a stressed and somewhat long sound like 'ko_ii'(ko1i2) unless its an unusual exclamatory remark.( a good comparative english word can be JOY) pradhyuman sahab,i request you to find time and throw light on my apprehensions and doubts as i am a complete novice and kindly do not mind anything....if you find my doubts silly kindly forgive a novice but kindly also indulge him. regards |
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(#43)
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Registered User
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Posts: 875
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: udaipur
Rep Power: 35
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21st May 2009, 08:22 AM
Quote:
It seems you are very much new to urdu-hindi poetry. I don't know much about the technical aspects of english poetry. at the same time it will not be justified if I (or someone else) describe the metering(beh'r) system in details. It takes some time to understand. Broadly speaking, beh'r (or meter) is tunable length of a line. Ghazal is written in a single tunable meter, which each and every line follows. What I suggest you at this time is, "Read each and every line slowly. Check the stopage (places where you tongue takes time). The time you spent in the first line and stopage should be same for other lines. For practising purpose you can listen ghazals sung by famous singer and sing along with them. These days I am very busy to regularly visit the site. Hope you understand. Thanks!! |
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(#44)
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Registered User
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21st May 2009, 05:57 PM
Quote:
apne jo bi samay nikala ,uska main kitna ehsanmand hu use mai bayan nahi kar sakta.. apne kitni asani se rasta dika diya aur sab clear kar diya ....aur ham lage hue the ulte seedhe comparisons me...apke is clarity ke baad mujko apne ap par hasi aa rahi hai... shayad isiliye ap ko sab yaha ustad kehte hai... ab maine socha hai kuch samay ke liye beher ka fomula doondne ke bajay aap ke suggestion ka amal karu...maine aaj use try kiya aur wakayi muhe uska fayda hua. kabhi kabar hi sahi yuhi baat kar liya kijiye taki ham bi kuch akl ke moti paa sakein regards |
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(#45)
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beautiful moment.........
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Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
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21st May 2009, 06:25 PM
Quote:
mindblowing dear.........................awesome.............. ........keep it up...   "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko’ii hamnaam teraa , ko’ii tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
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(#46)
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.. ek andaaz
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Posts: 1,681
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: lucknow , hindustaan
Rep Power: 37
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19th July 2009, 11:44 AM
shukriya naazneen sahiba !
daad sar aakhoN pe ! apna khyaal rakheiN ! |
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(#47)
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.. ek andaaz
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Posts: 1,681
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: lucknow , hindustaan
Rep Power: 37
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19th July 2009, 11:47 AM
manu sahib kaise haiN aap ?
muaafi chaahunga waQt rahte aapko shukriya adaa nahi kar paya ! darasal masrufiyat ke dauraan ab to ye aam sa ho chalaa hai !!! khair aapki daad tah e dil se Qabool hai ! apna hyaal rakheiN ! |
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(#48)
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.. ek andaaz
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Posts: 1,681
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: lucknow , hindustaan
Rep Power: 37
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19th July 2009, 11:49 AM
sakhi !
tumhaari naraazgi jaayaz hai ! par maiN shaayad phone pe tumhe apni baat samjha paaunga ! yahaN daad ke liye shukriya ! apna khyaal rakho ! |
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(#49)
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.. ek andaaz
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Posts: 1,681
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: lucknow , hindustaan
Rep Power: 37
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19th July 2009, 11:53 AM
manu jee !
mubaaraQbad tah e dil se Qabool kee gayii ! aapne itna khyaal rakha meharbaanii aapki ! ashaar pasand aaye meri khushnasiibii ... aage bhi hausla afzaaii ka talabgaar rahunga ! apna khyaal rakheiN ! |
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(#50)
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Humanity
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Posts: 6,227
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 42
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19th July 2009, 04:20 PM
Quote:
Jaane yeh nageena meri nazron se kahaan chhipa thha ab tak.... Yaar mazaa aa gaya iska har ek sher padhkar.... Bhaut bhut khoobsurat byaani hai... mere dil se daad kubool karna... Agli baar phone karoonga tab tumhaari awaaz me sunoonga... Vaise woh Orkut waali ghzal kab share kar rahe ho? Please do share it...Apna khayal rakho... Lagta hai is baar "Pulkit", kismat teri bhi rang laayii hai |
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(#51)
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Registered User
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Posts: 4,715
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Khariar, Odisha
Rep Power: 0
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21st July 2009, 08:38 PM
Quote:
kaise hai.n aap? ummeed hai ba-khairiyat ho.nge.. aap ki Ghazal behad achchhi lagii.. aap ki mehnat bhii saaf nazar aa rahii hai ki,aap kis kadar apni Ghazal par mehnat kar rahe hai.n.. behad-behad pyaari Ghazal kahii hai aap ne. maine paDha to, paDhta chalaa gaya.... har sher khud apna misaal hai aur maqta bemisaal hai meri aur se daad haazir hai, qubool keejiyegaa... likhte rahe.n.. ham paDhte rahe.nge... -mayank |
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(#52)
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Birha Tu Sultan
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Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
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26th July 2009, 02:52 AM
kshitiz miyaaN
aadaab-o-namaste tasleem bhai abhi kuch der pehle aapki ek Ghazal padhii aur jiska asar mujh par kuch aisaa huaa ke dil ne zabardastii ki ke aapke aur qalaam bhi padhe jaayeN , list meiN aage ki post yahii thi aur mujhe behadd khushii hai ke aapne yaaN bi mayous nai kiya Dheer saheb (jo ke meri nazar meiN aaj ki taakiirkh meiN urdu-adab ke bohat bade khair-khjwaahoN meiN se haiN , inhone is fann ko samajhne meiN jee-toR mehnat ki hai aur aaj bhi kar rahe haiN) ne jo tabdiiliiyaaN tajveez kiiN haiN un par bhi ga'ur kijiye, do-ek baateiN mere zahan meiN jo maiN arz karne ki gustaakhi kar raha huuN mujh se milna tera yuN mujh pe asar karta hai mere hone ki koi aur khabar karta hai matlaa bohat khoob kaha hai, mubarakbaad qabuul ho!! rang chehre ka mere dekh utar jata hai chor ke jaane ki tu baat agar karta hai pehle misrey meiN "mere" aur "dekh" ke baad "," lagaayeN to she'r ke maf'huum aur saaf ho jaayeNge.....yaani aap unse keh rahe haiN "dekh" mere chehre ka raNg utar jaata hai, binaa commas ya pause ke yuuN yak-baar paDhne se lagta hai ke "mere chehre ka raNg dekhe ke utar jaata hai" she'r par daad bhi baT'or lijiye  roothne se tujhe pehle hi mana leta maiN juzba e ishQ zara der asar karta hai Dheer saheb ne jo is she'r ke duusre misrey par aitraaz uThaaya hai vo bilkul jaay'iz hai, yahaaN zabaan ka nuqs hai go "der" ke baad "se" jamaa kiya jaaye to wazan ka mas'alaa hai, ek suurat yuuN ho sakti hai, albatta misra halka hai phir bhi ga'ur farmaa lijiye : jazbaa-e-ishq hai , haule se asar karta hai maine lafzoN ko baratne ka hunar seekha hai tera har lafz mere dil pe asar karta hai aapne jo is she'r pe aitraaz ki evaz meiN jo wajaahat farmaayi hai voh apni jagaah durust hai lekin ba-sad-mazrat kehna paDega ki she'r ke maa'nii ataa nahiiN ho rahe, aapne jis qadar mehnat ki hai (jo ke aapke sukhan meiN saaf dikhaayi deti hai) uske baad yeh to zaahir hai ke aap ba-khabar hoNge ke she'r ke donoN misroN meiN rabt ka hona behadd lazzimi hai, mere khayaal se aapko is she'r paar khaas tavvajo deni chahiye, tabdiilii darkaar hai, dekh leiN badzubaani meri tahzeeb bhula deti hai aur afsoos ye dil shaam o sahar karta hai bohat khoob miyaaN, kya she'r kahaa hai, jeete raho.....phir zabaan ke hawaale se aik aitraaz hai jo ke Dheer saheb ne bhi uThaaya hai, pehle misrey meiN "meri" ki bajaaye "mujhe" kar lijiye, chaudhaah saaloN meiN ek chaudhavNii ke chaaNd jaisa hai ye she'r, mubarak tasleem humne seekha hai guloN ki tarah haNs kar milna besabab ashQ bahana bhi zarar karta hai kya kehne, kya hi kehne haiN...dil khush kiya bhai.....wazan par mujhe khaas aitraaz nahiiN hai nekiyaN kar ke bhula dena meri aadat hai kar ke aihsaan "kshitiz" sarf e nazar karta hai maqtaa mujhe khaas ta'ur se pasaNd aaya, daad haazir-e-khidmat, qubuul !!! koi do-ek saaloN se maiN kohshsih kar raha huuN ke sha'iirii se "temporary retirement" le li jaaye lekin kuch to dostoN ki zidd ki wajah aur kuch mijaaz aisa hai ke "chor chori se jaaye, hera-pheri se na jaaye" na chahte hue bhi faqat bas yahii ek mehfil hai jis se kinaara nahiiN kar paa raha huuN uski ek khaas wajah hai balke wajuhaat haiN...ek haiN Mayank miyaaN aur duusre Dheer miyaaN....Dheer saheb se to India meiN mulaqaat bhi huii aur badi yaadgaar bhi rahi ab aap soch rahe hoNge yeh aakhiiri do pehre kis khushi meiN likhe maine, to bhai, jo is mehfil ko choR na paane wajah "do" thiiN voh aapki badaulat aaj "teen" ho gayi haiN meri ko'ii baat na'gawaar guzrii ho to muaafi peshagii maaNg raha huuN mashq jaari rakhiye rab raakha maikash is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai maikash ............................... |
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