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wo jab aaya kabhi nazam kabhi gazal ban ke aaya
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wo jab aaya kabhi nazam kabhi gazal ban ke aaya - 26th December 2006, 09:53 AM

dosto app logo se is nacheez ko itni mohabat mili hai ki mera daman kam par gaya hai....gar app yu he mere hamqadam banke chalte rahe to mumkin hai ki mujhe meri manzil mil jayegi....meri manzil koi or nahi app logo kay ander mujhe parhne ki lalak or aapke dil mein thori c jagha hai.....khuda se duaa hai app yu he mujhe parhte raho or apne dil mein mujhe basaye rakho.....!


unki mehfil main jab bhee mera zikar aaya
saray mehfil unhonay khud ko tanha paaya......

ajab taufeek bakshi hai us saksh ko khuda ne
khaa ke dil pe choot wo sada hii muskuraaya........

yeh bhee shayad uski mohabat ki ik adda hai
uski zubaan pe mera zikar sabke baad aaya......

mere zakhmo ne phir hara honay ki guzarish
us zalim ne jab bhee in par marham lagaaya......

wo mujh say door bhut door hote ja raha hai
soachta hoon kiyon usko apna khuda banaaya.......

uski aankho say khushi kay aansu baras pare
maine jab usko apna zakhm-e-jigar dikhaaya.......

'veer' ki shayri mein zindagi usike dam se hai
wo jab aaya kabhi nazam kabhi gazal ban ke aaya........


dosto umeed karta hoon apkay dil main raj kay liye thori c jagha or ban jaiyegi......appka dost........raj..........


un se kar liya kinara unki khushi ki khatir
ab mujhe bewafa kahiye ya bawafa kahiye...(Raj)
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mussafir
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26th December 2006, 10:27 AM

Bahut acha likha hai dost....
Bass do ALfaaz apkey likhey hue dard main pesh hai...

Roya Karengey aap bhi pehron issi tarah jab atka kahin jo apka dil bhi meri tarah...


nagri nagri phira musaafir ghar ka rasta bhool gaya
kya hai tera kya hai mera apna paraaya bhool gaya


Shukar hai Safar Guzarney key liye...kum sey kum TANHAI ney toh saath nibhaya...
   
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anjaani awaaz
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26th December 2006, 10:53 AM

Rajveer Ji Namastay,

Kaise hain aap? Aapse Chandigarh mein mili, tab aapko jan ne ka mauka mila...wakaii..aapke saral shabd, zindagi ki mushkil gutthiyon ko kholkar rakh dete hain...
Yakeen maniye, mein is site pe bahut kam aa rahi thi...aaj aayee aur aapki is koshish se mulakaat hui... Tareef karke isko taulna nahin chahti...par yakeen maniye...bahut bahut khoob likha hai apne..
Puraani aadat hai, is site pe jo bhi nazm mujhe dil se pasand aati hai...koshish karti hun..us sur ke saath apna sur mila sakun...apna haal-e-bayaan bhi keh dalun...umeed hai aapko meri koshish bhi pasand aayegi


unki mehfil main jab bhee mera zikar aaya
saray mehfil unhonay khud ko tanha paaya......


Tanhayeeyan kahan thi us pal mein bhi
Us ik pal ne hi toh mujhe uske pass bulaaya

ajab taufeek bakshi hai us saksh ko khuda ne
khaa ke dil pe choot wo sada hii muskuraaya........


Zindagi jina bhi sikha diya khuda ne
Mujhse bichar ke hi kiun usko jina aaya...

yeh bhee shayad uski mohabat ki ik adda hai
uski zubaan pe mera zikar sabke baad aaya......


Yaad toh humne bhi kiya kai baar
Yeh baat aur hai..ikrar-e-wafa aaj tak na ho paya

mere zakhmo ne phir hara honay ki guzarish
us zalim ne jab bhee in par marham lagaaya......


Ab toh zakmon se bhi wafa kar bhethe hain
Pagal dil ko..usmein bhi jo tu yaad aaya

wo mujh say door bhut door hote ja raha hai
soachta hoon kiyon usko apna khuda banaaya.......


Khuda kaise bana diya meine usko
Jo meri khamoshiyon ko bhi na sun paaya...

uski aankho say khushi kay aansu baras pare
maine jab usko apna zakhm-e-jigar dikhaaya.......


Khushi ke aansun, phir bhi behte hain apno ki ankh se
Mere zakhmon ko sun, wo mere saath muskraya...


'veer' ki shayri mein zindagi usike dam se hai
wo jab aaya kabhi nazam kabhi gazal ban ke aaya........


Ban gaya 'anjaan', wo meri har koshish ke baad
Aaj bhi likhti hun, wo jo na sun paaya


^^^Shalini^^^
... jab se kisi ne
karli hai suraj ki chori
aao
chal ke suraj dhoondhein
aur na mile toh
kiran kiran phir jama karein hum
aur ik suraj naya banyein
-NM
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mussafir
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26th December 2006, 10:58 AM

Alfaaz nai hain bahut khoob likha hai anjaani tumney....
sawalon ka jawab eek dum durust hai......


nagri nagri phira musaafir ghar ka rasta bhool gaya
kya hai tera kya hai mera apna paraaya bhool gaya


Shukar hai Safar Guzarney key liye...kum sey kum TANHAI ney toh saath nibhaya...
   
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Dhaval
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26th December 2006, 11:48 AM

mere big B ko chhotu ka pranaam

big b maiN bhi shalini ji ki baatoN se sehmat huN ke aapka bayaaN karne ka andaaz ek dam saral haiN

bahot hi gehri soch aur ehsaasoN se bhara aapka ye kalaam haiN

ye do sher mujhe behad pasaNd aayeN


unki mehfil main jab bhee mera zikar aaya
saray mehfil unhonay khud ko tanha paaya......

wo mujh say door bhut door hote ja raha hai
soachta hoon kiyon usko apna khuda banaaya.......


big b aapNe to sab ke diloN meiN jagah to waise bhi banadi haiN ek bar fir se khusi hui aapka ye kalaam dekh ke


daad hazir haiN kubul kijiyeNga apNe chhotu ki aur se

apna khayal rakhiyeN aur khus rahiyeN

Aapka shaitaaN
chhotu


*~*Dhaval*~*....Ek Ehsaas...
   
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sunita thakur
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26th December 2006, 04:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rajveeer View Post
dosto app logo se is nacheez ko itni mohabat mili hai ki mera daman kam par gaya hai....gar app yu he mere hamqadam banke chalte rahe to mumkin hai ki mujhe meri manzil mil jayegi....meri manzil koi or nahi app logo kay ander mujhe parhne ki lalak or aapke dil mein thori c jagha hai.....khuda se duaa hai app yu he mujhe parhte raho or apne dil mein mujhe basaye rakho.....!


unki mehfil main jab bhee mera zikar aaya
saray mehfil unhonay khud ko tanha paaya......

ajab taufeek bakshi hai us saksh ko khuda ne
khaa ke dil pe choot wo sada hii muskuraaya........

yeh bhee shayad uski mohabat ki ik adda hai
uski zubaan pe mera zikar sabke baad aaya......

mere zakhmo ne phir hara honay ki guzarish
us zalim ne jab bhee in par marham lagaaya......

wo mujh say door bhut door hote ja raha hai
soachta hoon kiyon usko apna khuda banaaya.......

uski aankho say khushi kay aansu baras pare
maine jab usko apna zakhm-e-jigar dikhaaya.......

'veer' ki shayri mein zindagi usike dam se hai
wo jab aaya kabhi nazam kabhi gazal ban ke aaya........


dosto umeed karta hoon apkay dil main raj kay liye thori c jagha or ban jaiyegi......appka dost........raj..........
rajveer ji namaskaar.........!

aapki har gazal lajwaab hoti hai, ab kaya tareef ki jaye pata nahi chal raha, har sher dil ke kareeb raha....yu hi likhtey rahiye aur hamesha kush rahiye...!

aapki dost


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


.....Sunita Thakur.....

यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...


   
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dilip200
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26th December 2006, 06:03 PM

janab veer sahab
namaskar
kaise hain janab

aaj aapki kahi ek ek baat dil main ghar kar gayii. yakeen maniye aapne jo aasar apni shayri main bayaa.n kiye hai wo lajawab hain

yeh bhee shayad uski mohabat ki ik adda hai
uski zubaan pe mera zikar sabke baad aaya......


waah kya baat hai.....
mere zakhmo ne phir hara honay ki guzarish
us zalim ne jab bhee in par marham lagaaya......


kamal hai...........
wo mujh say door bhut door hote ja raha hai
soachta hoon kiyon usko apna khuda banaaya


poori ki poori gazal la jawab hai dil se daad kabool farmaiyega
shukriya

dilip


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Dard bantne se ab darr lagta hai
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chaahat
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26th December 2006, 06:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rajveeer View Post
dosto app logo se is nacheez ko itni mohabat mili hai ki mera daman kam par gaya hai....gar app yu he mere hamqadam banke chalte rahe to mumkin hai ki mujhe meri manzil mil jayegi....meri manzil koi or nahi app logo kay ander mujhe parhne ki lalak or aapke dil mein thori c jagha hai.....khuda se duaa hai app yu he mujhe parhte raho or apne dil mein mujhe basaye rakho.....!


unki mehfil main jab bhee mera zikar aaya
saray mehfil unhonay khud ko tanha paaya......

ajab taufeek bakshi hai us saksh ko khuda ne
khaa ke dil pe choot wo sada hii muskuraaya........

yeh bhee shayad uski mohabat ki ik adda hai
uski zubaan pe mera zikar sabke baad aaya......

mere zakhmo ne phir hara honay ki guzarish
us zalim ne jab bhee in par marham lagaaya......

wo mujh say door bhut door hote ja raha hai
soachta hoon kiyon usko apna khuda banaaya.......

uski aankho say khushi kay aansu baras pare
maine jab usko apna zakhm-e-jigar dikhaaya.......

'veer' ki shayri mein zindagi usike dam se hai
wo jab aaya kabhi nazam kabhi gazal ban ke aaya........


dosto umeed karta hoon apkay dil main raj kay liye thori c jagha or ban jaiyegi......appka dost........raj..........

Bahut hi khoobsoorti se ehsaas pesh kiye hain aapne..

Jinse hume mohabbat hoti hai.. unhe dil dukhaane ki aadat hoti hai...

Take Care..

~Priya



"Dikha kar khawaab in aankhon ko, De gaye aansoon in mein Tum..
Kaise chalka doo yeh aansoon, In mein bhi To rehTe ho Tum.."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Sirf Tanu Ki ChaahaT...... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

   
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Taish
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28th December 2006, 02:55 AM

bhaiya ye gair muddaraf ghazal badi tedhi cheez hoti hai,isme flow ko kaayam rakhne me haalat durust ho jaati hai...! aapke is sher ke pehle misre me mere khayaal se ek ki choot gaya hai, isiliye pehli line meaningless si ho gayi hai...!

mere zakhmo ne phir hara honay ki guzarish
us zalim ne jab bhee in par marham lagaaya......

mere zakhmo ne phir ki hara honay ki guzarish
us zalim ne jab bhee in par marham lagaaya......


pehle do sher, 4th sher aur kuch hadd tak 5th sher ne dil ko khub behlaaya, par yakeen maaniye, kahin na kahin, aakhiri do sheron neaur kuch hadd tak teesre sher ne aapki ghazal ko kamjod kar diya, khaash taur pe maqta bahut kamjor hai, poori hi tarah flow ko tahas nahas kiye jaa raha hai, bhai jaan fir wahi baat kahunga, 5 sher hi likho, par dil cheer do saamne wale ka...!

umeed hai ki aap bura nahi maanenge, agar bura lage to chota bhai samajh maaf kar dena...! bas yunhi likhte rahiye aap...!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN,
Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai...

----Taish

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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hi
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rajni_roz
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hi - 30th December 2006, 03:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rajveeer View Post
dosto app logo se is nacheez ko itni mohabat mili hai ki mera daman kam par gaya hai....gar app yu he mere hamqadam banke chalte rahe to mumkin hai ki mujhe meri manzil mil jayegi....meri manzil koi or nahi app logo kay ander mujhe parhne ki lalak or aapke dil mein thori c jagha hai.....khuda se duaa hai app yu he mujhe parhte raho or apne dil mein mujhe basaye rakho.....!


unki mehfil main jab bhee mera zikar aaya
saray mehfil unhonay khud ko tanha paaya......

ajab taufeek bakshi hai us saksh ko khuda ne
khaa ke dil pe choot wo sada hii muskuraaya........

yeh bhee shayad uski mohabat ki ik adda hai
uski zubaan pe mera zikar sabke baad aaya......

mere zakhmo ne phir hara honay ki guzarish
us zalim ne jab bhee in par marham lagaaya......

wo mujh say door bhut door hote ja raha hai
soachta hoon kiyon usko apna khuda banaaya.......

uski aankho say khushi kay aansu baras pare
maine jab usko apna zakhm-e-jigar dikhaaya.......

'veer' ki shayri mein zindagi usike dam se hai
wo jab aaya kabhi nazam kabhi gazal ban ke aaya........


dosto umeed karta hoon apkay dil main raj kay liye thori c jagha or ban jaiyegi......appka dost........raj..........
raj ji ko mera namskar
aapka naya kalam sach me gayal kar gaya.. kya kahu, lafz khamosh ho gaye hai, bahut hi achi lagi ye lines.
wo mujh say door bhut door hote ja raha hai
soachta hoon kiyon usko apna khuda banaaya.......
sach hai jo kisi ko chahta hai wahi sabse jayda dard pata hai
meri daad kbool kijiye....
rajni.............


Rajni
   
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akelijaan
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31st December 2006, 07:34 PM

raj ji,aadaab,
dil mai jagah to aapne shuru din hi banaali thi.aapka likha koi na padhe,yeh mumkin nahi.bahut badhiya likha aapne.likhte rahiye yunhin.


yun bin bulaaye milne chala aata hai,
gham ko mujh se yeh unsiyat kaisi??

--akelijaan--
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shukria - 5th January 2007, 09:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by mussafir View Post
Bahut acha likha hai dost....
Bass do ALfaaz apkey likhey hue dard main pesh hai...

Roya Karengey aap bhi pehron issi tarah jab atka kahin jo apka dil bhi meri tarah...
janaab mussafir sahib aapko raj ka salaam.....aapne apna keemti waqt nikaal kar mujh nacheez pe karam kiya mere kalaam ko parne ke qabil samjha main tahe dil se aapka shukar guzaar hoon.....umeed hai yu hee aapka saath milta rahega......take care........raj.........


un se kar liya kinara unki khushi ki khatir
ab mujhe bewafa kahiye ya bawafa kahiye...(Raj)
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rajveeer
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shukria - 5th January 2007, 10:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by anjaani awaaz View Post
Rajveer Ji Namastay,

Kaise hain aap? Aapse Chandigarh mein mili, tab aapko jan ne ka mauka mila...wakaii..aapke saral shabd, zindagi ki mushkil gutthiyon ko kholkar rakh dete hain...
Yakeen maniye, mein is site pe bahut kam aa rahi thi...aaj aayee aur aapki is koshish se mulakaat hui... Tareef karke isko taulna nahin chahti...par yakeen maniye...bahut bahut khoob likha hai apne..
Puraani aadat hai, is site pe jo bhi nazm mujhe dil se pasand aati hai...koshish karti hun..us sur ke saath apna sur mila sakun...apna haal-e-bayaan bhi keh dalun...umeed hai aapko meri koshish bhi pasand aayegi


unki mehfil main jab bhee mera zikar aaya
saray mehfil unhonay khud ko tanha paaya......


Tanhayeeyan kahan thi us pal mein bhi
Us ik pal ne hi toh mujhe uske pass bulaaya

ajab taufeek bakshi hai us saksh ko khuda ne
khaa ke dil pe choot wo sada hii muskuraaya........


Zindagi jina bhi sikha diya khuda ne
Mujhse bichar ke hi kiun usko jina aaya...

yeh bhee shayad uski mohabat ki ik adda hai
uski zubaan pe mera zikar sabke baad aaya......


Yaad toh humne bhi kiya kai baar
Yeh baat aur hai..ikrar-e-wafa aaj tak na ho paya

mere zakhmo ne phir hara honay ki guzarish
us zalim ne jab bhee in par marham lagaaya......


Ab toh zakmon se bhi wafa kar bhethe hain
Pagal dil ko..usmein bhi jo tu yaad aaya

wo mujh say door bhut door hote ja raha hai
soachta hoon kiyon usko apna khuda banaaya.......


Khuda kaise bana diya meine usko
Jo meri khamoshiyon ko bhi na sun paaya...

uski aankho say khushi kay aansu baras pare
maine jab usko apna zakhm-e-jigar dikhaaya.......


Khushi ke aansun, phir bhi behte hain apno ki ankh se
Mere zakhmon ko sun, wo mere saath muskraya...


'veer' ki shayri mein zindagi usike dam se hai
wo jab aaya kabhi nazam kabhi gazal ban ke aaya........


Ban gaya 'anjaan', wo meri har koshish ke baad
Aaj bhi likhti hun, wo jo na sun paaya
shalini ji ko raj ka namaskaar....aapne jis andaaz mein mere kalaam ki tareef ki hai or mere sur ke saath apna sur milaya hai main samajh nahi pa raha hoon ki kin lafzon mein aapka shukria aada karu....aapne to mere kalaam ko chaar chaand laga diye hon jaise....bhut acha lagga aapka andaaz ....aapne mere kalaam ko apne dil mein jagha dee ....mere kalaam ki khush naseebi hai.....yu hee apna saath banaye rakhna.......apna khyaal rakhna........raj......


un se kar liya kinara unki khushi ki khatir
ab mujhe bewafa kahiye ya bawafa kahiye...(Raj)
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shukria - 5th January 2007, 10:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dhavalrami4you View Post
mere big B ko chhotu ka pranaam

big b maiN bhi shalini ji ki baatoN se sehmat huN ke aapka bayaaN karne ka andaaz ek dam saral haiN

bahot hi gehri soch aur ehsaasoN se bhara aapka ye kalaam haiN

ye do sher mujhe behad pasaNd aayeN


unki mehfil main jab bhee mera zikar aaya
saray mehfil unhonay khud ko tanha paaya......

wo mujh say door bhut door hote ja raha hai
soachta hoon kiyon usko apna khuda banaaya.......


big b aapNe to sab ke diloN meiN jagah to waise bhi banadi haiN ek bar fir se khusi hui aapka ye kalaam dekh ke


daad hazir haiN kubul kijiyeNga apNe chhotu ki aur se

apna khayal rakhiyeN aur khus rahiyeN

Aapka shaitaaN
chhotu
dhaval mere chhotu tera bhut bhut shukria jo tumne apni keemti raye se nawaza.....yu hee saath dete rehna......apna khyaal rakhna......raj......


un se kar liya kinara unki khushi ki khatir
ab mujhe bewafa kahiye ya bawafa kahiye...(Raj)
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DIL KI BAAT DIL TAK
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27th June 2008, 02:20 PM

Aadaab Rajveer ji kese hain aap aur kanha hai.n ?
Aaj aapki yeh gazal padhi bahut hi acch alaga aapka kallaam aap hain kanha aapko bahut miss karrahey hai.n............meri daad aapki gazal ke liye


"Do Pal Ruka Khushio.n ka Karwan"


Dunia ke sitam ki koi perwah nahi mujhko,
wo kyoun mujhpe ungliya uthaye ja rahe hain.
Jis shaks ko janta tha ek chehre se ''kashif''
Uske kitne chehre samne laye ja rahe hain.




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Pulkit_gupta
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27th June 2008, 03:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rajveeer View Post
dosto app logo se is nacheez ko itni mohabat mili hai ki mera daman kam par gaya hai....gar app yu he mere hamqadam banke chalte rahe to mumkin hai ki mujhe meri manzil mil jayegi....meri manzil koi or nahi app logo kay ander mujhe parhne ki lalak or aapke dil mein thori c jagha hai.....khuda se duaa hai app yu he mujhe parhte raho or apne dil mein mujhe basaye rakho.....!


unki mehfil main jab bhee mera zikar aaya
saray mehfil unhonay khud ko tanha paaya......

ajab taufeek bakshi hai us saksh ko khuda ne
khaa ke dil pe choot wo sada hii muskuraaya........

yeh bhee shayad uski mohabat ki ik adda hai
uski zubaan pe mera zikar sabke baad aaya......

mere zakhmo ne phir hara honay ki guzarish
us zalim ne jab bhee in par marham lagaaya......

wo mujh say door bhut door hote ja raha hai
soachta hoon kiyon usko apna khuda banaaya.......

uski aankho say khushi kay aansu baras pare
maine jab usko apna zakhm-e-jigar dikhaaya.......

'veer' ki shayri mein zindagi usike dam se hai
wo jab aaya kabhi nazam kabhi gazal ban ke aaya........


dosto umeed karta hoon apkay dil main raj kay liye thori c jagha or ban jaiyegi......appka dost........raj..........
Hi Raj bhai,

Kaise hain aap? ummeed hai sab acche se hai... Bahut hi accha likha hai apne... mujhe bahut pasand aayi aapki yeh racha... likhte rahiye...


Kab sochaa thha milegaa humsafar "Shweta" jaisaa
Lagta hai is baar "Pulkit", kismat teri bhi rang laayii hai
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