Ae yaar!Chalaa aa tujhe maiN apna banaa looN....

[kasak]

Bazm ko KasaK ka aadaab.......
ek arse baad kuch likha hai....sach kahooN to khuda bhi bahut ajeeb-o-gareeb khel khelta hai....kabhi to itne gham de dega ki insaaN ghut ke mar jaaye,aur doosre hi pal itni dheroN dher khushiyoN se nawaaz dega ki sambhaalna mushkil ho jaaye....kuch aisa hi mere saath hua hai.....isiliye shayad shabd nahi mil rahe the....lekin phir bhi kuch apno ki khaatir likha hai...dard se hatkar.....kuch alag ehsaas....gaur farmaaiyega.....

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Tujhe apne dil ke kisi kone me chhupaa looN,
ae yaar!chalaa aa tujhe maiN apna banaa looN,

koi chhoo bhi na sake teri parchaai ae sanam,
kuch aise maiN khud tujhko tujhse churaa looN,

kareeb aake mere dooriyoN ko mitaa de......
aagosh hi me tere apni duniya basaa looN,

mere laboN ko chhoo kar inhe gulaab kar de,
phir tere hi honthoN par khud ko maiN sajaa looN,

aake meri pyaas ek baar bas bujhaa de,
har hadd-e-mohabbat apni maiN paar kar daalooN,

tadpi hooN bahut zaalim is lamhe ke liye.....
is pal me hi apni saari zindagaani maiN bitaa looN,

mujh me teri chaahat is kadar samaa gayi hai,
nahi hota sabr!khud ko kaise maiN sambhaalooN,

dil me uthi 'KasaK'ko mehsoos to kar ke dekh,
jism kya hai,rooh bhi maiN tere naam kar daalooN.......

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

apki,
KasaK.......

[Taish]

wah bahut khoob.sach kahoon mujhe bahut pasand aayi aapki ye rachna.aur mera maan na hai ki ab aap dard pe likhna hi chod do.iske do karan hin.pehla abhi aapko koi dard nahi.aur doosra ki aap dard se ahcha ihsq me likhti hain.aur shayad ye aapki sabse ahchi rachnaon me se hai.aur shayad yahi karne ko hum bhi aapse kab se keh rahe the.chalo koi baat nahi der aaye sawer aaye. .bas yunhi likhte rahiye aap.

aapka LUCKY

[farhana]

hey sweets.................kitna pyara likkha hai sach..............for a change dard se hat ke tumne likkha hai aur jo bhi likkha hai mazedaar likkha hai ........lekin lekin lekin.....yeh toh batao kiske liye likkha hai.....hmmmmmmmmm....
janke ko mein bekarar hoon sweets.....apna khyaal rakkho aur aise hi likhti raho.....ta ta...bye bye

[Parul]

kasak,

Bahut achha likha hai.. tumhe parh ke achha laga... khush raho!

Take care & have a nice day!

[roshani]

dear kasak,
i need to be pinced today. is tht u only. my doll use to always love writing in pain, n my my wat is tht i m reading today. terriffic. my dear i just can not say tht i loved reading this sher or tht sher, the whole thought is so beautifully expressed tht each n every word is complete in itself. wow gr8. meri daad kabool karna n keep flowing ur thoughts ahead too like this.the way u flow ur thought n bound them in words, it awesome dear. aaj tujhe padh kar ek ganna yaad aa gaya, actually was listening to this no only wen i came across ur thread. its......
dil keh raha hai tujhse yu rishta jodh lu...
teri dharkano ko chu lu tera jism odh lu...

take care n may god bless u with his finnest glitters.
with love
urs di roshani

[kasak]

Originally posted by ghayal_shayar
wah bahut khoob.sach kahoon mujhe bahut pasand aayi aapki ye rachna.aur mera maan na hai ki ab aap dard pe likhna hi chod do.iske do karan hin.pehla abhi aapko koi dard nahi.aur doosra ki aap dard se ahcha ihsq me likhti hain.aur shayad ye aapki sabse ahchi rachnaon me se hai.aur shayad yahi karne ko hum bhi aapse kab se keh rahe the.chalo koi baat nahi der aaye sawer aaye. .bas yunhi likhte rahiye aap.

aapka LUCKY

hmmmmmm.......lucky.....tumhe sach me pasand aaya???
yaar...mujhe laga ki kuch alag likh rahi hooN to shayad hi kisi ko pasand aaye....varna to log yahaaN dard pe hi taareef karte haiN.....thanx 4 coming buddy.....lekin aap ye mat samajhiyega ki humara koi dard nahi....aur aap jante haiN ki humara dard kisi se judaa hua hai....bas ye hai ki ab wo wala dard nahi raha.....aap aaye bahut khushi hui......
aise hi saath dete rehna.....
wid luv,
KasaK.........

[kasak]

Originally posted by farhana
hey sweets.................kitna pyara likkha hai sach..............for a change dard se hat ke tumne likkha hai aur jo bhi likkha hai mazedaar likkha hai ........lekin lekin lekin.....yeh toh batao kiske liye likkha hai.....hmmmmmmmmm....
janke ko mein bekarar hoon sweets.....apna khyaal rakkho aur aise hi likhti raho.....ta ta...bye bye

hehehe.....di apko itna pasand aayega maine socha nahi tha....well....us insaan ka naam na hi liya jaaye to behtar hai....wo kehte haiN na....ruswaai ka darr hai..... hehehe.....anywaz apko pata chal hi jaayega.....bas ye dil se nikli hui ek awaaz hi hai...jise us shakhs ke kaanoN tak pahunchaani hai......thank u very much ki aap aaye......
luv u a lott.....
KasaK........

[kasak]

Originally posted by Parul
kasak,

Bahut achha likha hai.. tumhe parh ke achha laga... khush raho!

Take care & have a nice day!

hey parul di......kaise ho aap???
well...thanx ki aap aaye...aur reply kara...bas aise hi saath dete rahiyega......
bye....n u hav a nice day tooooo......
KasaK.....

[kasak]

Originally posted by roshani
dear kasak,
i need to be pinced today. is tht u only. my doll use to always love writing in pain, n my my wat is tht i m reading today. terriffic. my dear i just can not say tht i loved reading this sher or tht sher, the whole thought is so beautifully expressed tht each n every word is complete in itself. wow gr8. meri daad kabool karna n keep flowing ur thoughts ahead too like this.the way u flow ur thought n bound them in words, it awesome dear. aaj tujhe padh kar ek ganna yaad aa gaya, actually was listening to this no only wen i came across ur thread. its......
dil keh raha hai tujhse yu rishta jodh lu...
teri dharkano ko chu lu tera jism odh lu...

take care n may god bless u with his finnest glitters.
with love
urs di roshani

are re re re re diiiiiiii..............
waise yaar sahi kaha apne.....aur aap hi se to seekha hai.....waqt ke saath insaan ka sochne ka nazariya bhi badal jaata hai...shayad kaafi time beet gaya hai aur ab haalaat badal chuke haiN .....isliye socha ki should write something else....kuch romantic sa.....logoN ne kahaa bhi tha ki i should write on ishq....lekin pehle kahaaN likh sakti thi....but now i'm here 2 write on ishq......bas aapke kaaran hi hua hai sab di.....jaise apne apni ek nayi pehchaan banaayi....lucky ne bhi apne aapko badlaa hai....to maine bhi socha ki kuch khud me change laaun.....thanx a lottttt.....ki aap yahaaN aaye.....
aur ek baat kahooN...ye kalaam maine isi song se inspired hoke banaaya hai......was listening 2 it tabhi kuch khayal dimaag me aaye....cool song!!
thanx 4 coming....bas aise hi mere saath rahiyega.......
bye.....
ur sweet doll.....
KasaK......

[ballu]

hi kasak.....

bahut hi accha likha hai aapney.......
ek baar to yakeen hi nahi aaya ki ........"dard ka zindagi par asar...." likhney wali shayra .........itni mohabbat bhari rachna bhi likh sakti hai........acha hua ki aapney itro mein hi clear kar diya.....ki aaj aap bahut khush hai......

aap hamesha khush rahe aur mohabbat bhari hi rachnaye likhtey rahe......

bye.....take care...

[kasak]

Originally posted by ballu
hi kasak.....

bahut hi accha likha hai aapney.......
ek baar to yakeen hi nahi aaya ki ........"dard ka zindagi par asar...." likhney wali shayra .........itni mohabbat bhari rachna bhi likh sakti hai........acha hua ki aapney itro mein hi clear kar diya.....ki aaj aap bahut khush hai......

aap hamesha khush rahe aur mohabbat bhari hi rachnaye likhtey rahe......

bye.....take care...

hmmmmm..........
ballu sahab...sahi kaha apne...mujhe bhi yakeen nahi hua ki ye maine hi likha hai......lekin ek bahut sahi quote hai.....
jis rang me dhaalo us rang me ghul jaaye,
zindagi nahi kaanch ka gilaas hua.....

bas ye humare oopar hai ki hum zindagi ko kis nazariye se dekheiN.....dekhiye zindagi behad haseen hai....hum hi haiN jo ise banaate haiN.....aur hum hi haiN jo ise bigaadte haiN...ye maine ab seekha hai..varna is philosophy ke maiN against thi.......
bas aaj jo hooN apke saamne hooN.....saath dijiyega.....isse bhi achchi rachnaayeiN pesh karti rahungi.....
thanx a lot,
KasaK..........

[karan q]

kasak tak karan ka salaam pahunche

maine tumhe jyada nahi padha .. iss site me kissi ko bhi jyada nahi padha
Lekin tumhare pichle kalaam me ek mukammal lehza thaa

ye kalaam Na-mukammal to hai hai magar techniqal mistakes bhi bahoot hain

Tujhe apne dil ke kisi kone me chhupaa looN,
ae yaar!chalaa aa tujhe maiN apna banaa looN,

iss couplet ko samjho, Aap apne yaar ko apna nahi banaa sakte,
mehboob ko bula rahi hain to phir zaraa adab bhi hona chaahiye
CHale aao.. and tujhe ki jagah tumhe hoga .. to Kuch or ras aayega .. lekin rythm bhi toot jayegi

koi chhoo bhi na sake teri parchaai ae sanam,
kuch aise maiN khud tujhko tujhse churaa looN,

Khud is not making any sense and breaking the rythm as well

Kuch aise he main tujhko tujhse chura loon..

It wont break the rythm

kuch aise he main tumko tumse chura loon

will add adab to your request

kareeb aake mere dooriyoN ko mitaa de......
aagosh hi me tere apni duniya basaa looN,

this one is okey .. but still rythm is only 90%

kareeb aake mere dooriyon ko mita do
tumhare aagosh me, apni duniya basa loon

or tere aagosh me

mere laboN ko chhoo kar inhe gulaab kar de,
phir tere hi honthoN par khud ko maiN sajaa looN,

first line is romantic .. 2nd line is not up to the mark
rythm he only 80%
i would love to edit this one... or atleast re write the 2nd line

aake meri pyaas ek baar bas bujhaa de,
har hadd-e-mohabbat apni maiN paar kar daalooN,

Qaafiya ke saath beimaani ho gayi .. not complitly written
rythm is breaking as well

tadpi hooN bahut zaalim is lamhe ke liye.....
is pal me hi apni saari zindagaani maiN bitaa looN,

first line is not complete .. combination of words is not exect

Zindagaani bita loon ..will be okey
main is again breaking the rythm

mujh me teri chaahat is kadar samaa gayi hai,
nahi hota sabr!khud ko kaise maiN sambhaalooN,

khud ko kaise sambhaalun is okey

still effect is not up to the mark...

iss kadar teri chaahat me main ghul gayi houn
nahi hota sabar,khud ko kaise sambhaalun

dil me uthi 'KasaK'ko mehsoos to kar ke dekh,
jism kya hai,rooh bhi maiN tere naam kar daalooN.......

Augar poori shayri me kamiyaan hon to maqta bhi sahi nahi ho sakta ... khair .. kul mila ker ek nakaam koshish .. Magar her ek nakaami ... kaamyabi ki muntazir huaa kerti hai ..

pehle tumhe padha hai .. or sach me bahut accha lagaa .. This poetry is below your standred.. i know you can write batter then this .. infact lot batter then this .. I have full faith on you ..

Augar koi baat buri lagi ho to muaafi ka muntzir houn

falsafe laakh sahi meri baaton me
sunke per neend bahut aati hai

Likhti raho ...

izzajat
karan.q

[kasak]

hehehe......karan jee......mujhe to bilkul neend nahi aayi......dnt worry.....itminaaN se padh rahi thi......
waise na....maiN dard pe hi zyada better likhti hooN....aisa mera maan.na hai....ye ishq pe pata nahi kyuN likha....mujhe to pataa hi tha.....jab mujhe pasand nahi aayi to auroN ko bhi nahi aaayegi.....lekin kuch logoN ko ye pacha hi nahi ki maiNe ishq pe likha....shayad isliye reply kiya......khair...aap jaise shayar ne mujhe kitna kuch sikha daala...apki baateiN dhyaan me rakh kar phir ek koshish karuungi.....jaanti hooN apko mujhse kaafi ummeedeiN haiN.......aur apko maiN niraash nahi karungi.....
lekin ek baat mujhe bataaiyega karan jee....ki aap....jo ki khud apne hi kalaaM pe kisi ke reply pe reply nahi karte....to mere kalaaM ko itni baareeki se kaise padha....aur padhha to padhaa reply bhi itminaan se kiya.....
now karan jee....isse zyada uplabdhi ki baat mere liye kya ho sakti hai....ki apne mujhe itna reply kara aur sikhaaya apna kuch keemti waqt nikaal ke......bas aapki baateiN mere dimaag me ghus gayi haiN....agle kalaam me apko niraash nahi karungi....
lekin bas aise hi meri galtiyoN ko sudhaarte rahiyega....apki guidance mujhe zaroor aage le jaayegi.....
duaaoN ke saath ijaazat,
KasaK.......

[sunita thakur]

Originally Posted by kasak

Bazm ko KasaK ka aadaab.......
ek arse baad kuch likha hai....sach kahooN to khuda bhi bahut ajeeb-o-gareeb khel khelta hai....kabhi to itne gham de dega ki insaaN ghut ke mar jaaye,aur doosre hi pal itni dheroN dher khushiyoN se nawaaz dega ki sambhaalna mushkil ho jaaye....kuch aisa hi mere saath hua hai.....isiliye shayad shabd nahi mil rahe the....lekin phir bhi kuch apno ki khaatir likha hai...dard se hatkar.....kuch alag ehsaas....gaur farmaaiyega.....

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Tujhe apne dil ke kisi kone me chhupaa looN,
ae yaar!chalaa aa tujhe maiN apna banaa looN,

koi chhoo bhi na sake teri parchaai ae sanam,
kuch aise maiN khud tujhko tujhse churaa looN,

kareeb aake mere dooriyoN ko mitaa de......
aagosh hi me tere apni duniya basaa looN,

mere laboN ko chhoo kar inhe gulaab kar de,
phir tere hi honthoN par khud ko maiN sajaa looN,

aake meri pyaas ek baar bas bujhaa de,
har hadd-e-mohabbat apni maiN paar kar daalooN,

tadpi hooN bahut zaalim is lamhe ke liye.....
is pal me hi apni saari zindagaani maiN bitaa looN,

mujh me teri chaahat is kadar samaa gayi hai,
nahi hota sabr!khud ko kaise maiN sambhaalooN,

dil me uthi 'KasaK'ko mehsoos to kar ke dekh,
jism kya hai,rooh bhi maiN tere naam kar daalooN.......

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

apki,
KasaK.......

Kasak jii.........behad khoobsurat ahssas...aapki poetry ke ham kayal hai...so jab bhi fursat milti hai zindgi ke taane-baane se, to waqt nikaal aisi rachnaye padna accha lagta hai.