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Huii Sabse Paraayi
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kolkata
Rep Power: 44
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"maiN bhoolne waaloN ki nishanii nahi rakhti" -
9th December 2008, 08:26 PM
Mahfil main Sabhi dostoN ko Diya ka salaam....Ek chhoti si koshish ke saath fir haazir huN aapke samne ....
Ummeed hai aap sab ko pasand aayegi.....
maiN dard ki yaadeiN vo puraanii nahi rakhti
apne zehan meiN koi kahaanii nahi rakhti
biite hue lamhoN ko bhulana hi munaasib
guzre hue kal ki maiN rawaanii nahi rakhti
aihsaan mere dil pe kyoN karta hai iss Qadar
laalach meiN kii achhayii bhi maanii nahi rakhti
kah jata hai kaajal mera ashQoN ki kahaani
ghum laakh ho aaNkhoN meiN maiN paanii nahi rakhti
tuu apne jhoothe waade tere saath le ke ja
maiN bhoolne waaloN ki nishanii nahi rakhti
mujh ko Diya kahte haiN maiN jal jal ke jeetee huN
roshan ye shab e ghum maiN zubaanii nahi rakhti
Mohabbat ke baad mohabbat mumkin hai faraz.
Magar toot ke chahna sirf ek baar hota hai
Goodbye SDC
Diya
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Sifar
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Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
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9th December 2008, 08:37 PM
main to pehle keh chuka hun .. tumhari soch aur likne ka junoon zabardast hai.. bas bareekiyoN pe dhyaan rakho .. tum bohat umda shayaraoN maiN naam darj karogi apna .. mujhe yakeen hai ...
Kunaal
KunaaL (Sifar).........
Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa..
Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi..
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ek dost
Offline
Posts: 5,566
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: gujarat (india)
Rep Power: 34
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9th December 2008, 09:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diya_Jale
Mahfil main Sabhi dostoN ko Diya ka salaam....Ek chhoti si koshish ke saath fir haazir huN aapke samne ....
Ummeed hai aap sab ko pasand aayegi.....
maiN dard ki yaadeiN vo puraanii nahi rakhti
apne zehan meiN koi kahaanii nahi rakhti
biite hue lamhoN ko bhulana hi munaasib
guzre hue kal ki maiN rawaanii nahi rakhti
aihsaan mere dil pe kyoN karta hai iss Qadar
laalach meiN kii achhayii bhi maanii nahi rakhti
kah jata hai kaajal mera ashQoN ki kahaani
ghum laakh ho aaNkhoN meiN maiN paanii nahi rakhti
tuu apne jhoothe waade tere saath le ke ja
maiN bhoolne waaloN ki nishanii nahi rakhti
mujh ko Diya kahte haiN maiN jal jal ke jeetee huN
roshan ye shab e ghum maiN zubaanii nahi rakhti
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wah diya ji bahut acha likha hai apne
mujh ko Diya kahte haiN maiN jal jal ke jeetee huN
roshan ye shab e ghum maiN zubaanii nahi rakhti
apka ye sher hume bahut pasnad aaya hai
khush rahiye humesha
dil se dua karege apke liye
AankheN khuleeN to jaag uTheeN hasrateN tamaam Uss ko bhi kho diyaa jissay paya thaa khwaab mein
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Moderator
Offline
Posts: 15,199
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Chandigarh (Mohali)
Rep Power: 63
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9th December 2008, 10:04 PM
wow..........mind blowing.....Diya majja aa gaya padkar, har sher mein teekhapan hai, bahut khoob
tu apne jhoothe waade apne saath le ke ja
maiN bhoolne waaloN ki nishanii nahi rakhti
yeh sher bahut bahut bahut pasand aaya....bahut umda likha hai, technically to jayada main bhi nahi jaanti par ahsaas....superb
khoobsurat poetry par reps +++
kush raho
pyar ke saath
Roshni ki diii
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.....Sunita Thakur.....
यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...
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Registered User
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Posts: 121
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: zindagi ki baaho me
Rep Power: 19
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11th December 2008, 12:58 PM
diya ji aapki yeh ghazal bohut achi hai thank you aapne isse share kiya bohut hi pyara hai dua karti hu aap hamesha aise hi likhti rahegi apne khyal rakhiye bye
Har ek prem kahaani main,
mera hi kissa aata hai..........
surat main apni dekhu,
aur nazar woh aata hai..........
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 138
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: mumbai
Rep Power: 19
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11th December 2008, 05:12 PM
Wah Diya JHi,
har ek ehsas jaise dil se nikle ho, bahot acha likha hai apne, har ek shair badi hi gahrai se aur sadgi se kaha hai apne.
likhte rahiye,
Take care
bye
koi pyaar chahe to koi jahan chahe,
koi doulat chahe to koi shaan chahe,
hum to jindagi ke sataye huwe hai,
‘Eliyas’ to khudase do gaaz zameen aur kafan chahe
- ELIYAS SHAIKH
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Registered User
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Posts: 13
Join Date: Dec 2008
Rep Power: 0
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11th December 2008, 05:18 PM
wah diya ji bahot achha likhti hain..aap
PHOOLO KI KADAR UN DARD KE MAARO SE PUCHHO
JIS SHAKSH NE KAANTO PAR APNI GUJAARI HAI
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Registered User
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Posts: 333
Join Date: May 2008
Location: mumbai(maharashtra)
Rep Power: 22
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waaah!! -
11th December 2008, 05:46 PM
ye DIYA is qadar noor chhalkayega,pata nahin tha.main jaldi kisi gazal se prabhaavit nahin hota..magar ye gazal mujhe majboor karti hai,ki kahoon..'Masha Allah kya khoob gazal hai'.
Waaah!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diya_Jale
Mahfil main Sabhi dostoN ko Diya ka salaam....Ek chhoti si koshish ke saath fir haazir huN aapke samne ....
Ummeed hai aap sab ko pasand aayegi.....
maiN dard ki yaadeiN vo puraanii nahi rakhti
apne zehan meiN koi kahaanii nahi rakhti
biite hue lamhoN ko bhulana hi munaasib
guzre hue kal ki maiN rawaanii nahi rakhti
aihsaan mere dil pe kyoN karta hai iss Qadar
laalach meiN kii achhayii bhi maanii nahi rakhti
kah jata hai kaajal mera ashQoN ki kahaani
ghum laakh ho aaNkhoN meiN maiN paanii nahi rakhti
tuu apne jhoothe waade tere saath le ke ja
maiN bhoolne waaloN ki nishanii nahi rakhti
mujh ko Diya kahte haiN maiN jal jal ke jeetee huN
roshan ye shab e ghum maiN zubaanii nahi rakhti
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Yaadon ka!
Offline
Posts: 6,801
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: gujarat-India
Rep Power: 46
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12th December 2008, 06:10 PM
Bahut khub ghazal hain diya...............
Sab ke sab ashaar acche lage....dil se daad!........
tuu apne jhoothe waade tere saath le ke ja
maiN bhoolne waaloN ki nishanii nahi rakhti
mujh ko Diya kahte haiN maiN jal jal ke jeetee huN
roshan ye shab e ghum maiN zubaanii nahi rakhti
+++ added.....
mausam
Jaane kya samjha woh mujhe
Jaane kya samjhi main useN
Faasla nazar aaya....Kuch kadmon ke saath se
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Aapki dost
Offline
Posts: 7,325
Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 57
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13th December 2008, 12:40 PM
superb.........................
zainy
Zainy
PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...
Nm
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DIL KI BAAT DIL TAK
Offline
Posts: 1,185
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: MORADABAD (U.P.)
Rep Power: 36
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14th December 2008, 11:11 AM
Aadaab Diya ji
waah bahut asardaar kalaam aapne pesh kiya jisne zehen pe ek jadoo sa asar kar diya har sher bahut khoobsoorat bana hai kafi waqt baad kisi ne mehfil mein itna umda kalaam pesh kiya hai.........bande ki daad kubool farmaye aur likhti rahe........God Bless You
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diya_Jale
Mahfil main Sabhi dostoN ko Diya ka salaam....Ek chhoti si koshish ke saath fir haazir huN aapke samne ....
Ummeed hai aap sab ko pasand aayegi.....
maiN dard ki yaadeiN vo puraanii nahi rakhti
apne zehan meiN koi kahaanii nahi rakhti
biite hue lamhoN ko bhulana hi munaasib
guzre hue kal ki maiN rawaanii nahi rakhti
aihsaan mere dil pe kyoN karta hai iss Qadar
laalach meiN kii achhayii bhi maanii nahi rakhti
kah jata hai kaajal mera ashQoN ki kahaani
ghum laakh ho aaNkhoN meiN maiN paanii nahi rakhti
tuu apne jhoothe waade tere saath le ke ja
maiN bhoolne waaloN ki nishanii nahi rakhti
mujh ko Diya kahte haiN maiN jal jal ke jeetee huN
roshan ye shab e ghum maiN zubaanii nahi rakhti
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"Do Pal Ruka Khushio.n ka Karwan"
Dunia ke sitam ki koi perwah nahi mujhko,
wo kyoun mujhpe ungliya uthaye ja rahe hain.
Jis shaks ko janta tha ek chehre se ''kashif''
Uske kitne chehre samne laye ja rahe hain.
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 8
Join Date: Dec 2008
Rep Power: 0
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14th December 2008, 02:35 PM
It's
i like these type of ashar. pls send me some new darde ashra.
i like these type of lines . u have so nice and good looking person
saleem uddin
Duty manager
The Mobile Store
9891613572
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,855
Join Date: Sep 2007
Rep Power: 33
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21st December 2008, 04:53 AM
Diyaa Jee Aadaab ! namaskaar ! Aslam u alaikum !
app ka kalam to beHad passand aaya ...maiN app se aik baat poochna chahta hoN keh app kis se seekh rahi haiN ghazal likhna , kiyoN keh jis tereH nikhaar app ki ghazloN maiN aa raha hai aisa lagta hai keh app ke ustaad-e-moHteram nihayat hi Qabil tareen shakhsiyat haiN unki meHnat app ke kalam meN saaf saaf nazar aa rahi hai .
meri T~araf se unhaiN bhi aur app ko bhi teh dil se daad haazir hai , youNhi meHfiloN ko sajaate rahiye ...
Mujeeb
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My Collection Only
Offline
Posts: 79
Join Date: Apr 2008
Rep Power: 17
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21st December 2008, 07:42 AM
just one word
Fantastic
Keep Writing
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Kureel
Offline
Posts: 2,700
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: new delhi INDIA
Rep Power: 28
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24th December 2008, 10:27 AM
kah jata hai kaajal mera ashQoN ki kahaani
ghum laakh ho aaNkhoN meiN maiN paanii nahi rakhti
tuu apne jhoothe waade tere saath le ke ja
maiN bhoolne waaloN ki nishanii nahi rakhti
mujh ko Diya kahte haiN maiN jal jal ke jeetee huN
roshan ye shab e ghum maiN zubaanii nahi rakhti[/B][/I][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/QUOTE]
thokron ne bana diya hai tazurbeqaar ab mujhe..
raahguzar hun jawa raahon ki par jawani nahin rakhti
kya baat hai..!!! bahoot ache..!!!behad pasand aayi aapki tehreer,,is baar bhi..!!! likhne par majboor kar dia aapne....
-Manoj Kureel
apne usoolon par ham apne andaaz se chalte hai
karte hai jo "kureel" se gila karte rahein.
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Guest
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24th December 2008, 10:36 AM
nice diya raani bahut khoob... likhti raho khush raho..
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Huii Sabse Paraayi
Offline
Posts: 5,283
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kolkata
Rep Power: 44
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29th December 2008, 02:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sacccha_pyar
main to pehle keh chuka hun .. tumhari soch aur likne ka junoon zabardast hai.. bas bareekiyoN pe dhyaan rakho .. tum bohat umda shayaraoN maiN naam darj karogi apna .. mujhe yakeen hai ...
Kunaal
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Dear Kunaal ji,
aapki Dua younhi saath rahe humesha ....
Sukriya
Diya
Mohabbat ke baad mohabbat mumkin hai faraz.
Magar toot ke chahna sirf ek baar hota hai
Goodbye SDC
Diya
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Kuch Baaten Ankahee si!!!
Offline
Posts: 61
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Bangalore
Rep Power: 19
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30th December 2008, 10:40 AM
Hi Diya,
As usual...u r the best....... aapki yeh gazal dilko chu gayi.aise hi likhtey rahiye.
take care
anu
Dont strew me with roses after i'm dead, when death claims the light of my brow, no flowers of life will cheer me - instead you may give me my roses now...............
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Banned
Offline
Posts: 2,586
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Delhi
Rep Power: 0
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1st January 2009, 12:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diya_Jale
Mahfil main Sabhi dostoN ko Diya ka salaam....Ek chhoti si koshish ke saath fir haazir huN aapke samne ....
Ummeed hai aap sab ko pasand aayegi.....
maiN dard ki yaadeiN vo puraanii nahi rakhti
apne zehan meiN koi kahaanii nahi rakhti
biite hue lamhoN ko bhulana hi munaasib
guzre hue kal ki maiN rawaanii nahi rakhti
aihsaan mere dil pe kyoN karta hai iss Qadar
laalach meiN kii achhayii bhi maanii nahi rakhti
kah jata hai kaajal mera ashQoN ki kahaani
ghum laakh ho aaNkhoN meiN maiN paanii nahi rakhti
tuu apne jhoothe waade tere saath le ke ja
maiN bhoolne waaloN ki nishanii nahi rakhti
mujh ko Diya kahte haiN maiN jal jal ke jeetee huN
roshan ye shab e ghum maiN zubaanii nahi rakhti
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DIya Diya Diyaa
Katl hai Katl
har sher kamaal hai .. khyaal aur way of expression . jabardast ...............
-- Keep it ......... aise hi likhna ... aur kamaal hi likhna ..
god bless u touchwood
wellllll done
jabse mere dono mama alag hue
challe mai apne chabi nani nahi rakhti
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 26
Join Date: Dec 2004
Rep Power: 0
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1st January 2009, 01:24 AM
vaah! bahut accha likhti ho...aage bhi tumhari ghzalein padhnein ka mauka milta rahe...
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Huii Sabse Paraayi
Offline
Posts: 5,283
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kolkata
Rep Power: 44
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7th January 2009, 10:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dineshdharvi
wah diya ji bahut acha likha hai apne
mujh ko Diya kahte haiN maiN jal jal ke jeetee huN
roshan ye shab e ghum maiN zubaanii nahi rakhti
apka ye sher hume bahut pasnad aaya hai
khush rahiye humesha
dil se dua karege apke liye
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Sukriya Dinu
tum humesha meri khusi hi chahate ho ...
main khusnaseeb hun , mujhe tumahare jaisa dost mila
apna khayal rakhna
Diya
Mohabbat ke baad mohabbat mumkin hai faraz.
Magar toot ke chahna sirf ek baar hota hai
Goodbye SDC
Diya
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Couldn't Care Less
Offline
Posts: 2,652
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 30
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7th January 2009, 10:16 PM
Gd One Diya.... Khush Raho........ +++
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 1,924
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Dubai, United Arab Emirates.
Rep Power: 26
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8th January 2009, 05:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diya_Jale
Mahfil main Sabhi dostoN ko Diya ka salaam....Ek chhoti si koshish ke saath fir haazir huN aapke samne ....
Ummeed hai aap sab ko pasand aayegi.....
maiN dard ki yaadeiN vo puraanii nahi rakhti
apne zehan meiN koi kahaanii nahi rakhti
biite hue lamhoN ko bhulana hi munaasib
guzre hue kal ki maiN rawaanii nahi rakhti
aihsaan mere dil pe kyoN karta hai iss Qadar
laalach meiN kii achhayii bhi maanii nahi rakhti
kah jata hai kaajal mera ashQoN ki kahaani
ghum laakh ho aaNkhoN meiN maiN paanii nahi rakhti
tuu apne jhoothe waade tere saath le ke ja
maiN bhoolne waaloN ki nishanii nahi rakhti
mujh ko Diya kahte haiN maiN jal jal ke jeetee huN
roshan ye shab e ghum maiN zubaanii nahi rakhti
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bahot hi uumda likha hain diya ji aapne
yaad na rakhte huwe bhi kitna kuch yaad kiya hain
bahot hi sundar aur muje aapki yeh line behad aachi lagi hain
kah jata hai kaajal mera ashQoN ki kahaani
ghum laakh ho aaNkhoN meiN maiN paanii nahi rakhti
tuu apne jhoothe waade tere saath le ke ja
maiN bhoolne waaloN ki nishanii nahi rakhti
mujh ko Diya kahte haiN maiN jal jal ke jeetee huN
roshan ye shab e ghum maiN zubaanii nahi rakhti
uunhi likhte rahiye dost
Kitne mare kitne aabhi rahoo.N me hai Kuch aa.Nsoo baki nigahoo.N me hai
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Huii Sabse Paraayi
Offline
Posts: 5,283
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kolkata
Rep Power: 44
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8th May 2009, 05:42 PM
Pyaari Di,
muaaf kijiyega jawab dene mein bahot hi der kar diya maine ...aaj kal waqt nahin milta mahfil mein aane keliye ...
ghazal aapko pasand aayi mujhe bahot khusi hui ...aise bhi jo hai aapki roshni
sab aapki pyaar aur saath ka natijaa hai ...koshish karoongi aur bhi achha likhun
humesha apni Ujala ka saath dijiyega
miss u lot
with love
aapki Roshni
Mohabbat ke baad mohabbat mumkin hai faraz.
Magar toot ke chahna sirf ek baar hota hai
Goodbye SDC
Diya
Last edited by Diya_Jale; 8th May 2009 at 05:50 PM..
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Huii Sabse Paraayi
Offline
Posts: 5,283
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kolkata
Rep Power: 44
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8th May 2009, 05:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sanam khan
diya ji aapki yeh ghazal bohut achi hai thank you aapne isse share kiya bohut hi pyara hai dua karti hu aap hamesha aise hi likhti rahegi apne khyal rakhiye bye
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sukriya sanam jee
aise hi Duaon mein nachees ko yaad rakhiyega
younhi saath detey rahiye ...........
take care
Diya
Mohabbat ke baad mohabbat mumkin hai faraz.
Magar toot ke chahna sirf ek baar hota hai
Goodbye SDC
Diya
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Huii Sabse Paraayi
Offline
Posts: 5,283
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kolkata
Rep Power: 44
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8th May 2009, 07:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliyas
Wah Diya JHi,
har ek ehsas jaise dil se nikle ho, bahot acha likha hai apne, har ek shair badi hi gahrai se aur sadgi se kaha hai apne.
likhte rahiye,
Take care
bye
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eliyas jee,
kaise ho aap ?
aaj kal mahfil mein nazar nahin aate ..?
humari ghazal pasand aayi aapki hume khusi hui
apna khayal rakhiyega
Diya
Mohabbat ke baad mohabbat mumkin hai faraz.
Magar toot ke chahna sirf ek baar hota hai
Goodbye SDC
Diya
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Huii Sabse Paraayi
Offline
Posts: 5,283
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kolkata
Rep Power: 44
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17th May 2009, 09:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RAAZ VERMA
wah diya ji bahot achha likhti hain..aap
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Sukriya Raz jee...........................
Mohabbat ke baad mohabbat mumkin hai faraz.
Magar toot ke chahna sirf ek baar hota hai
Goodbye SDC
Diya
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Huii Sabse Paraayi
Offline
Posts: 5,283
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kolkata
Rep Power: 44
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17th May 2009, 09:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by prashant vasl
ye DIYA is qadar noor chhalkayega,pata nahin tha.main jaldi kisi gazal se prabhaavit nahin hota..magar ye gazal mujhe majboor karti hai,ki kahoon..'Masha Allah kya khoob gazal hai'.
Waaah!!
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Prashant jee Namaskar,
yeh meri khusnaseeb hai ki aap is thread per nazar daale ....is nachees ko apni kimti raye sunaye .........
aapki Reply dekh kar main itni khus hui thi ki .... Sunita Di ko pm karke batayi............
"Di aaj ka din mereliye bahot lucky hai ,Prashant jee mere thread per Replay kiye hai"vo baat mujhe aaj bhi yaad hai ,main jab bhi is thread ko dekhti hun bahot khus ho jati hu.
Younhi hume Dua.oN mein yaad rakhiyega
Diya
Mohabbat ke baad mohabbat mumkin hai faraz.
Magar toot ke chahna sirf ek baar hota hai
Goodbye SDC
Diya
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Huii Sabse Paraayi
Offline
Posts: 5,283
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kolkata
Rep Power: 44
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17th May 2009, 09:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mausam
Bahut khub ghazal hain diya...............
Sab ke sab ashaar acche lage....dil se daad!........
tuu apne jhoothe waade tere saath le ke ja
maiN bhoolne waaloN ki nishanii nahi rakhti
mujh ko Diya kahte haiN maiN jal jal ke jeetee huN
roshan ye shab e ghum maiN zubaanii nahi rakhti
+++ added.....
mausam
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Mausam Di,
Reply dene main bahot der kardiya maine ..plz muaaf kijiyega
aaj kal aap mahfil meiN nazar hi nahi aate ...?
bahot busy ho kya?
aapko meri koshish achha laga mujhe khusi hui
youn hi Dua.oN meiN yaad rakhiyega
aapki
Diya
Mohabbat ke baad mohabbat mumkin hai faraz.
Magar toot ke chahna sirf ek baar hota hai
Goodbye SDC
Diya
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An Incomplite Dream
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Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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17th May 2009, 10:22 PM
Wah Diyaa Jii amazing...
Diyaa jii aapki is Gazal ki tarif lafzon me kaduN to shayad kaam pad jaye..
Wakai behad dilfareb ahsaason se ise aapne baqoobi bayan kiya hai....
Aur aapki is gazal se hum jaise shayad kai logon ko jeene ke liye nayi rah
mili hai amazing...
Yunhi likhti rahiye..
Khush rahiye...........
Duaon ke sath daad kabul kijiye...
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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Posts: 5,535
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lost In The Cobwebs Of Mah Mind...!!
Rep Power: 48
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19th May 2009, 12:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diya_Jale
Mahfil main Sabhi dostoN ko Diya ka salaam....Ek chhoti si koshish ke saath fir haazir huN aapke samne ....
Ummeed hai aap sab ko pasand aayegi.....
maiN dard ki yaadeiN vo puraanii nahi rakhti
apne zehan meiN koi kahaanii nahi rakhti
biite hue lamhoN ko bhulana hi munaasib
guzre hue kal ki maiN rawaanii nahi rakhti
aihsaan mere dil pe kyoN karta hai iss Qadar
laalach meiN kii achhayii bhi maanii nahi rakhti
kah jata hai kaajal mera ashQoN ki kahaani
ghum laakh ho aaNkhoN meiN maiN paanii nahi rakhti
tuu apne jhoothe waade tere saath le ke ja
maiN bhoolne waaloN ki nishanii nahi rakhti
mujh ko Diya kahte haiN maiN jal jal ke jeetee huN
roshan ye shab e ghum maiN zubaanii nahi rakhti
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Diya ji ko mera salaam, aaj muddatoN baad shayri ka sa mizaaz hua to yahaaN aa pahuNcha, kaafi kuch padha au dekha, yakeen maaniye aapka ye kalaam bahut ahchi raah pe hai, bas isme chand cheezeN iske flow ko kharaab si karti hui maloom hui. Jaise ki
"ghum laakh ho aaNkhoN meiN maiN paanii nahi rakhti"
sher ke is doosre line me "MAIN" lafz aapko hataa dena chahiye. Kyunki ye understood hai ki apni hi baat kar rahi haiN. Aisa hi mujhe ek-do aur jagah dikha. Bas yahi salaah duNga ki aap apna likha ek baar padheN, aur fir aap unme se jitne v lafz kam kar sakeN jinke hataane bawjud koi farq nahiN padta, unhe hataa deN, aur khud dekhiye ki kis tarah kalaam me aur jyada nikhaar aa jaata hai. Agar kahiN kuch jyada keh gaya huN ya koi baat buri lage to maafi ka talabgaar rahuNga....!!
Allah Hafiz
GHAYAL....!!
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Anshumali
Offline
Posts: 7,420
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: DELHI (INDIA)
Rep Power: 86
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19th May 2009, 11:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diya_Jale
Mahfil main Sabhi dostoN ko Diya ka salaam....Ek chhoti si koshish ke saath fir haazir huN aapke samne ....
Ummeed hai aap sab ko pasand aayegi.....
maiN dard ki yaadeiN vo puraanii nahi rakhti
apne zehan meiN koi kahaanii nahi rakhti
biite hue lamhoN ko bhulana hi munaasib
guzre hue kal ki maiN rawaanii nahi rakhti
aihsaan mere dil pe kyoN karta hai iss Qadar
laalach meiN kii achhayii bhi maanii nahi rakhti
kah jata hai kaajal mera ashQoN ki kahaani
ghum laakh ho aaNkhoN meiN maiN paanii nahi rakhti
tuu apne jhoothe waade tere saath le ke ja
maiN bhoolne waaloN ki nishanii nahi rakhti
mujh ko Diya kahte haiN maiN jal jal ke jeetee huN
roshan ye shab e ghum maiN zubaanii nahi rakhti
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Diya ji
aapki saari nazm mai mere liye ye kehna mushkil ho raha hai...kis sher ko kahu ki ye sabse acha hai....puri ki puri ghazal hi itni achi hai...baar baar padhne ka dil karta hai....
---naresh mehra---
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The Lost Poet
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Posts: 312
Join Date: Nov 2008
Rep Power: 20
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25th May 2009, 12:01 AM
Kya likhti ho ap, maan gaye apko, im so proud of u........... meri dost toh ekdum superstar hai, kya awesome likhti ho.........................Hat's Off to you........
Haan woh dard ki yaadein purani nahi rakhti,
apne zehen mein mein koi kahani nahi rakhti,
Yeh toh "Diya" hai roshan karti hai khushiyan,
Gam aur udasi ki koi kahani nai rakhti.....
Ur THE BEST...................................
Tumahra Dost.....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diya_Jale
maiN dard ki yaadeiN vo puraanii nahi rakhti
apne zehan meiN koi kahaanii nahi rakhti
biite hue lamhoN ko bhulana hi munaasib
guzre hue kal ki maiN rawaanii nahi rakhti
aihsaan mere dil pe kyoN karta hai iss Qadar
laalach meiN kii achhayii bhi maanii nahi rakhti
kah jata hai kaajal mera ashQoN ki kahaani
ghum laakh ho aaNkhoN meiN maiN paanii nahi rakhti
tuu apne jhoothe waade tere saath le ke ja
maiN bhoolne waaloN ki nishanii nahi rakhti
mujh ko Diya kahte haiN maiN jal jal ke jeetee huN
roshan ye shab e ghum maiN zubaanii nahi rakhti
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Nalin
Uski Har "Uff" pe hum apni jaan lutate rahe,
Uski Shaqsiyat ko karke buland hum khudko mitate rahe,
Raahe-e-mohobbat me hamne kuch yun paya sila wafa ka,
woh dete rahe zakhm pe zakhm aur ham muskurate rahe
Please Honor me and my creative writing by visitng my website @ www.nalin-mehra.blogspot.com
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 310
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: gujrat
Rep Power: 0
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25th May 2009, 10:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diya_Jale
Mahfil main Sabhi dostoN ko Diya ka salaam....Ek chhoti si koshish ke saath fir haazir huN aapke samne ....
Ummeed hai aap sab ko pasand aayegi.....
maiN dard ki yaadeiN vo puraanii nahi rakhti
apne zehan meiN koi kahaanii nahi rakhti
biite hue lamhoN ko bhulana hi munaasib
guzre hue kal ki maiN rawaanii nahi rakhti
aihsaan mere dil pe kyoN karta hai iss Qadar
laalach meiN kii achhayii bhi maanii nahi rakhti
kah jata hai kaajal mera ashQoN ki kahaani
ghum laakh ho aaNkhoN meiN maiN paanii nahi rakhti
tuu apne jhoothe waade tere saath le ke ja
maiN bhoolne waaloN ki nishanii nahi rakhti
mujh ko Diya kahte haiN maiN jal jal ke jeetee huN
roshan ye shab e ghum maiN zubaanii nahi rakhti
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superb diya........ kyaa kamaal likha hai......... har sher is like wowwwwww............ mast hai
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 608
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Surat (Gujarat)
Rep Power: 35
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25th May 2009, 02:24 PM
aihsaan mere dil pe kyoN karta hai iss Qadar
laalach meiN kii achhayii bhi maanii nahi rakhti
Outstanding
Fantastic
Mind Bogling
Fantabulous
Ab Aur shabd Khatam Ho GAye..
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Registered User
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Posts: 381
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: apni dillii
Rep Power: 23
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waahh -
25th May 2009, 02:40 PM
waaah diya....bohat accha laga apki shayri padh ke..kuuch apne junoon ki jhalak dikhai di...bas waqt ke sath,apna ye junoon barkaar rakhna....badalna mat aur likhte rehna...gud
god bless you
'sanam'
ruchika jain
"sanam" chahe zindagi se bas itna
aik mutthi main kaid kar loon,
yeh aasman hai jitna!"
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 1,774
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: UP, India
Rep Power: 30
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bahut khub -
25th May 2009, 03:55 PM
Dear Diya ji
namaskar... main aaj pahali baar aapko padh raha hoon. aapki likhi lines bottom to heart hain.. mujhe achchha laga..
maiN dard ki yaadeiN vo puraanii nahi rakhti
apne zehan meiN koi kahaanii nahi rakhti
jindagi ko jine ka andaaj behad pasand aaya..sahi mayane mein dard ki yadein khushi nahi balki gham ko jinda kerke rakhati hain..aur ensaan ko khushi ki jarurat hoti hai
biite hue lamhoN ko bhulana hi munaasib
guzre hue kal ki maiN rawaanii nahi rakhti
achchha laga yun hi..andaze bayan ki zarurat rahati hai
aihsaan mere dil pe kyoN karta hai iss Qadar
laalach meiN kii achhayii bhi maanii nahi rakhti
lalach aur upkar dono ek sath nahi rah sakte..bahut khub
kah jata hai kaajal mera ashQoN ki kahaani
ghum laakh ho aaNkhoN meiN maiN paanii nahi rakhti
samajhane vaale ke liye esara hi bahut kuch hota hai..bas najar chahiye pahchanne ke liye
tuu apne jhoothe waade tere saath le ke ja
maiN bhoolne waaloN ki nishanii nahi rakhti
bahut khub...sabse behtarin andaz apki lekhani ka..
mujh ko Diya kahte haiN maiN jal jal ke jeetee huN
roshan ye shab e ghum maiN zubaanii nahi rakhti
roshan jaha ko kerna fitarat hai... jalana diya ka naseeb..aur Diya ne apni amit nishani **** di hai... bahut khubsurat andaaz..
ant mein yahi kahana chahunga ki aap ne jo apane dil ki baat likhi..use dil ne kabul fermaya aur reply likhe bina nahi raha gaya.. esi tarah likhati rahiye aur hum sabhi ko padhane/sikhane ka muka dete rahiye..
Shubhkamnao sahit,
Akant...
*********
आहट सी कोइ आये तो समझ लेना कि तुम हो...
AahaT si koi aaye to samajh lena ki tum ho...
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