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Ek gazal ki koshish
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shrdh
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Ek gazal ki koshish - 10th July 2007, 12:03 PM
behear --- 2/1122-1212-22/112


Faiz ki gazal ki zameen par likhi hui meri ek gazal aur soch aap sabke liye

koi bhi galti ho zarur bataye.



Kaate.N aaye kabhi gulaab aaye
Jo bhi aaye wo behisaab aaye

Rang udh jaaye unke chehre ka
Jab bhi meri wafa ke baab aaye

Baab- Topic

Abr –e-daanaa.ii ho jaaye oojhal
Jo zindgi main ek azaab aaye

Daanaa.ii – samjhdaari

Dost ban ke mile ya dushaman ho
Samne aaye to benaqaab aaye

Gham-e-rozgaar likh rahi “Shrddha”
Aise alam main kaise khwaab aaye
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sunita thakur
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10th July 2007, 01:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by shrdh View Post
behear --- 2/1122-1212-22/112


Faiz ki gazal ki zameen par likhi hui meri ek gazal aur soch aap sabke liye

koi bhi galti ho zarur bataye.



Kaate.N aaye kabhi gulaab aaye
Jo bhi aaye wo behisaab aaye......bahut khoob ahsaas hai.n....

Rang udh jaaye unke chehre ka
Jab bhi meri wafa ke baab aaye.......gahri baat kahi hai....

Baab- Topic

Abr –e-daanaa.ii ho jaaye oojhal
Jo zindgi main ek azaab aaye.........yeh sher bhi khoob hai...

Daanaa.ii – samjhdaari

Dost ban ke mile ya dushaman ho
Samne aaye to benaqaab aaye.......bilkul sahi kaha.. ....

Gham-e-rozgaar likh rahi “Shrddha”
Aise alam main kaise khwaab aaye.....bahut khoob....
dear shrddha, bahut khoob gazal kahi hai aapne Faiz ji ki zameen par...har sher umda aur dil ke kareeb laga...vaise bahut dino baad aapko jaha padna naseeb hua....umeed hai aap routine mei.n aati raheyn.gi ab.....aur aapki naye creations padne ko naseeb hoti rahey.ngi

yu hi likhti raho, aati raho aur kush raho
duao.n ke saath

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


.....Sunita Thakur.....

यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...
   
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bhut khub
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rajveeer
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bhut khub - 10th July 2007, 03:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by shrdh View Post
behear --- 2/1122-1212-22/112


Faiz ki gazal ki zameen par likhi hui meri ek gazal aur soch aap sabke liye

koi bhi galti ho zarur bataye.



Kaate.N aaye kabhi gulaab aaye
Jo bhi aaye wo behisaab aaye

waaaaaaaaaaaah!

Rang udh jaaye unke chehre ka
Jab bhi meri wafa ke baab aaye

bhut khub shradh mazaa aa gyaa.......

Baab- Topic

Abr –e-daanaa.ii ho jaaye oojhal
Jo zindgi mein ek azaab aaye

bhut pukhta khyaal daad hazir hai.......

.ii – samjhdaari

Dost ban ke mile ya dushaman ho
Samne aaye to benaqaab aaye

or ye share to haasil-e-gazal raha......waaaaaaaaaah!

Gham-e-rozgaar likh rahi “Shrddha”
Aise alam main kaise khwaab aaye


makta bhi zordaar poori gazal hi lajawaab hai shrad ji.....is dil kash kalaam par meri dil se daad kabool kare......aapki agli gazal ka muntzir........raj.......


neend udd gayii meri aankhon se
jab kabhi bhi unke khaab aaye.......

un se kar liya kinara unki khushi ki khatir
ab mujhe bewafa kahiye ya bawafa kahiye...(Raj)
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koi to ho
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10th July 2007, 10:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by shrdh View Post
behear --- 2/1122-1212-22/112


Faiz ki gazal ki zameen par likhi hui meri ek gazal aur soch aap sabke liye

koi bhi galti ho zarur bataye.



Kaate.N aaye kabhi gulaab aaye
Jo bhi aaye wo behisaab aaye

Rang udh jaaye unke chehre ka
Jab bhi meri wafa ke baab aaye

Baab- Topic

Abr –e-daanaa.ii ho jaaye oojhal
Jo zindgi main ek azaab aaye

Daanaa.ii – samjhdaari

Dost ban ke mile ya dushaman ho
Samne aaye to benaqaab aaye

Gham-e-rozgaar likh rahi “Shrddha”
Aise alam main kaise khwaab aaye

wah shrdha ji bohat khoob likha hai ye ashaar bohat khoob lagay.......

Kaate.N aaye kabhi gulaab aaye
Jo bhi aaye wo behisaab aaye

Rang udh jaaye unke chehre ka
Jab bhi meri wafa ke baab aaye

yunhi likhti rahiye khush rahiye

Waqt ke jisam ki kharash hoon main
apne ander se pash pash hoon main
zaaat hai aetbaar e zaaat nahin
ab to main khud bhi apne saath nahin
   
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masoomshayer
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10th July 2007, 10:19 PM
shradhha gazal kitnee achee hai baad men baat hogee bahut se log hain jo bata hee denge ki bahut umda likha hai tum ne un men mera shumar huya na huya fark anhee hai. fark jis baat ka hai wo is baat ka hai ki tum ne meree baat rakhee tum ayeen ghar ke darwaze tak hee lagata hai ki paraya hai andar chale ayo dikhta hai are ye to wahee darodeewar hain wahee tasweeren bhee hain jo hamaree hain bahut bahut shukriya
Anil

mere ashar ko mahoob samjh ke chhoomte the jo
kho gaye hain woh log ab un kee justzoo hai
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sakhi1909
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10th July 2007, 11:11 PM
di
acha laga ek baar phir apko yahan paya to.
yuhi achi tahreer lekar yahan saari family mein shamil rahna

sakhi

कुछ ऐसे पल जिनको संजोना है ,
शब्दों में पिरोना है , जिससे वो हमारी यादों में महकते रहे
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11th July 2007, 06:21 PM
Sharadha ji..

Sabse pehle to aapka shukriya ada karna chaahungi, jo aap phir se yahan aayi.. aur dua karungi ki aapko hum sab yahan humesha paate rahein..

Ek khoobsoorat ghazal ke saath aapki vaapsi aur bhi zordaar ho gayi... Huemsah yunhi mehfil me rang sajaaiye.. aur humesha khush rahiye/.. aur phir kabhi bhi apne pyare parivar se door jaane ka sochiyega bhi nahi..

Take Care..


Maasoom ji - Anil ji.. ka bhi bahut bahut shukriya, Sharadha ji ko yahan vapis laane ke liye

Thanx!!

~Priya


"Dikha kar khawaab in aankhon ko, De gaye aansoon in mein Tum..
Kaise chalka doo yeh aansoon, In mein bhi To rehTe ho Tum.."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Sirf Tanu Ki ChaahaT...... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
   
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TariqAhmadAzmi
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Smile 11th July 2007, 10:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by shrdh View Post
behear --- 2/1122-1212-22/112


Faiz ki gazal ki zameen par likhi hui meri ek gazal aur soch aap sabke liye

koi bhi galti ho zarur bataye.



Kaate.N aaye kabhi gulaab aaye
Jo bhi aaye wo behisaab aaye

Rang udh jaaye unke chehre ka
Jab bhi meri wafa ke baab aaye

Baab- Topic

Abr –e-daanaa.ii ho jaaye oojhal
Jo zindgi main ek azaab aaye

Daanaa.ii – samjhdaari

Dost ban ke mile ya dushaman ho
Samne aaye to benaqaab aaye

Gham-e-rozgaar likh rahi “Shrddha”
Aise alam main kaise khwaab aaye
Sharddha ji ko shaan ka salam,
Bahut khoob likha hai shrddha ji aapne
Mujhe bahut pasand aai aapki ye gazal
ye chuti se gazal ne bahut kuch bayan ker diya
bas aapyun hi hasnte or muskurate rahen
apna kyaal rakhiyega

Aapka dost
SHAAN

Gamo ki kader karo or unke sath jiyu,
Gam kabi fareb na denge khushi ki tarah.
........Shaan......
   
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ghalat behr
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acharya_mj
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ghalat behr - 12th July 2007, 11:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by shrdh View Post
behear --- 2/1122-1212-22/112


Faiz ki gazal ki zameen par likhi hui meri ek gazal aur soch aap sabke liye

koi bhi galti ho zarur bataye.



Kaate.N aaye kabhi gulaab aaye
Jo bhi aaye wo behisaab aaye

Rang udh jaaye unke chehre ka
Jab bhi meri wafa ke baab aaye

Baab- Topic

Abr –e-daanaa.ii ho jaaye oojhal
Jo zindgi main ek azaab aaye

Daanaa.ii – samjhdaari

Dost ban ke mile ya dushaman ho
Samne aaye to benaqaab aaye

Gham-e-rozgaar likh rahi “Shrddha”
Aise alam main kaise khwaab aaye
mai tumharee jhoothi taarif nahi karonga magar Ye behr jo tumne likhi hai vo ghalat hai, tumhaara kalaam is behr mai nahi hai, behr aise hi likh dene se nahi banti, us ke liye ghor tapasyaa aur mehnat karni padti hai
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Ek Ehsaas
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12th July 2007, 01:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by shrdh View Post
Kaate.N aaye kabhi gulaab aaye
Jo bhi aaye wo behisaab aaye

Rang udh jaaye unke chehre ka
Jab bhi meri wafa ke baab aaye

Abr –e-daanaa.ii ho jaaye oojhal
Jo zindgi main ek azaab aaye


Dost ban ke mile ya dushaman ho
Samne aaye to benaqaab aaye

Gham-e-rozgaar likh rahi “Shrddha”
Aise alam main kaise khwaab aaye
Bahut hi khoobsurat nazm hai Shrddha Ji. Jaldi jaldi likha karo. Padhkar achha lagta hai...

Who Cares.....
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dilip200
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13th July 2007, 09:35 AM
Kaate.N aaye kabhi gulaab aaye
Jo bhi aaye wo behisaab aaye


Dost ban ke mile ya dushaman ho
Samne aaye to benaqaab aaye


shrddha ji namaskaar

bada hi khoobsurat or bhavo se bharpoor kalam likh ahai aaj aapne
bus samajh lo ki sher seedhe dil me utar gaye

merii daad hazir hai kabool farmaiyega

shukriyaa

dilip

" Dilip " -Ek Adhoora khwab


Dard bantne se ab darr lagta hai
mere gamo ka usnane falsafa bana diya
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Dhaval
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13th July 2007, 10:23 AM
Shrdh Didi namaskaaR:

aapkii Ghazal naZ^ar nawaaZ hu'ii..baRii khuShii hu''ii aapkii Ghazal ko paRh ke..maiN koYii saaHib-e-fan yaa beHr jaanne waala taZarbaakaar nahiiN hooN..aik taalib ilm huN..to ba-harhaal yeH Ghazal Bahot Khuub lagii..! aik umdaah kosiSh aapkii taraf sey..aor rahii baat GhaltiYoN kii to wo dheere dheere door ho jaaYeNgii..aapne Ghazal meiN aSh'aar ko Bahot Khuub bayaaN kiYaa haii ess sey Ghazal aor ziyaadah rawaaN lagtii hai..ess purasar Ghazal par Diilii daad-o-mubaarakbaad ko qabool farmaaYeN..maShq zaaree raKheN..duaa hai Z^aor-e-qalaam aor baRheN ziyaadaaH..

Ghazal ka mat^la be-Had pasaNd aaYa..!

khuSh raheN..apnaa Khayaal raKheN

duaaoN ke saath ijaazat

aapka
Dhaval

*~*Dhaval*~*....Ek Ehsaas...
Last edited by Dhaval; 13th July 2007 at 10:27 AM..
   
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