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Kash.na maine tujhe pyar se dekha hota
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pari
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Thumbs down Kash.na maine tujhe pyar se dekha hota - 2nd June 2003, 06:03 PM

Kash, na maine tujhe pyar se dekha hota
na dil tumhe dete aur na ye dhokha hota

tujhko manjoor na thi jo muhabbat meri
to badhte hue kadmo ko mere roka to hota

is kadar thokerein hum aaj na khaate humdam
humne raahon mein pada patthar jo dekha hota

tere intzaar mein saari umar bita dete
jo ek baar palat kar tune dekha to hota

tere aankh ka har aansu apni aankho mein chupa lete
gar mere dil ke jakhm dekh tu bhi ek baar roya to hota

kash, na maine tujhe pyar se dekha hota........

Pari


Chadha hai aaj bhi uska Rang, jisne kabhi Ranga hi nahi :-)
   
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wah
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manisha
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wah - 2nd June 2003, 06:49 PM

wah pari ji,
behad khoobsurat aur saade lafjo mein dard baya kiya hai aapne ....hum to waise bhi kaayal hai aapki shayri ke.....
ye lines to bahut achhi lagi...

tere aankh ka har aansu apni aankho mein chupa lete
gar mere dil ke jakhm dekh tu bhi ek baar roya to hota

kaise karti hai aap itni umda shayri? tariff kabool kijiye,..
manisha.


Achha sila diya tune mere pyar ka yaar ne hi loot liya ghar yaar ka
   
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Hi
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akant
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Hi - 2nd June 2003, 06:57 PM

hi pari,

bada dard samaya hai aapki shayri mein. bahoot khoob likhi hain aap. man ko khoob bhaya hai aapka yah kalaam. main aaj hi apane home town se vapas aaya hoon. aapke likhe huie shayri ko padh ke man mein ek vichar aaya jise shabdo ka roop de ke aapke shamane pesh ker raha hoon.

dard mein jo duba to tera chehra samane tha,
dekha to paya mera vajood vahiN paDa tha,


kitani hasarat bani,
aur kitani bikhar gayi,
teri raah mein vo,
mujhe akela chhod gayi..



Akant...


*********
आहट सी कोइ आये तो समझ लेना कि तुम हो...
AahaT si koi aaye to samajh lena ki tum ho...
   
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2nd June 2003, 08:00 PM

Pari ji
bahut achha likha hai hamesha ki tarah ..
gustakhi muaf ho , magar main kuch suggest karu ? agar aap apne nukto me " to " ka use na karti to Qalam ki khobsorti aur badh jati jaise ki ab dekhiye ..

Kash, na maine tujhe pyar se dekha hota
na dil tumhe dete aur na ye dhokha hota

tujhko manjoor na thi jo muhabbat meri
to badhte hue kadmo ko mere roka hota

is kadar thokerein hum aaj na khaate humdam
humne raahon mein pada patthar jo dekha hota

tere intzaar mein saari umar bita dete
jo ek baar palat kar tune dekha hota

tere aankh ka har aansu apni aankho mein chupa lete
gar mere dil ke jakhm dekh tu bhi ek baar roya hota

kash, na maine tujhe pyar se dekha hota........

mujhe laga is tarah se Qalam ki khoobsorati badh jayegi vaise jo aapne likha tha vo bhi mukammal tha ..
apni gustakhi ki muafi to main pahle hi mang chuka hu so aapke naraj hone ka to saval hi nahi uthta ..

likhti rahiye ..


andaaz
   
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hi
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pari
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hi - 2nd June 2003, 09:40 PM

Thanks manisha ji aur akant ji,
Padhne ka aur is nazm ko sarahne ka ...aise hi response dete rahiye..
pari


hello kshitiz ji,
Naraaz hone ka koi saval nahi uthta ...achha laga ki aapne meri nazm ko itna waqt de kar padha aur mukammal changes kiye .....aapne bahut achha suggest kiya hai.....agli baar behta r likhne ki kosish karoongi...
again thanks for response..
Pari


Chadha hai aaj bhi uska Rang, jisne kabhi Ranga hi nahi :-)
   
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akant
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8th June 2010, 03:46 PM

Dear pari ji,

once again aapko padhana chahenge...asha hai aap jald avpis ayengi..

Akant...


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आहट सी कोइ आये तो समझ लेना कि तुम हो...
AahaT si koi aaye to samajh lena ki tum ho...
   
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Smile 9th June 2010, 10:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by pari View Post

is kadar thokerein hum aaj na khaate humdam
humne raahon mein pada patthar jo dekha hota

pari ji apki nazam acchi lagi mujhe aur is sher ke liye meri taraf se repu+++++

sada khush rahiye aur muskurate rahiye.........

aapka.


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mitaya mujh ko hone ne, na hota main to kya hota !!
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9th June 2010, 01:15 PM

hello pari jee, pehli baar aapko pada aur bahut accha laga, dard ko itne saade lafzon byaan karna kya baat hai, aise hee likhti rahiye. Akant jee ne jo changes bataye hain vo bilkul sahi hain aap un pe gaur farmayeiga. Ok. Daad kubool kijiye



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Love 9th June 2010, 02:14 PM

wah wah...................bahot khub pari ji

Regards


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PRANEETA

Kaash k khamoshi bhi ek zabaaN hoti
Main dekta rehta unhe aur haal-e-dil bayaaN hota
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9th June 2010, 03:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by pari View Post
Kash, na maine tujhe pyar se dekha hota
na dil tumhe dete aur na ye dhokha hota

tujhko manjoor na thi jo muhabbat meri
to badhte hue kadmo ko mere roka to hota

is kadar thokerein hum aaj na khaate humdam
humne raahon mein pada patthar jo dekha hota

tere intzaar mein saari umar bita dete
jo ek baar palat kar tune dekha to hota

tere aankh ka har aansu apni aankho mein chupa lete
gar mere dil ke jakhm dekh tu bhi ek baar roya to hota

kash, na maine tujhe pyar se dekha hota........

Pari
ji bhaut komal ehsaas pesh kiye hai aapne...................nice creation.....



Radhika

Seene Me Zakham Utarey Chale Gaye
Jo Humpe Guzari Guzarey Chale Gaye

Woh Aayega Ek Din Milne Humse
Naam Uska Hi Pukarey Chale Gaye


E-mail : radhika.nm2@gmail.com
   
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