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kaash duniya na hoti
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Zeba
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kaash duniya na hoti - 15th January 2003, 01:23 AM

kaash duniya na hoti,zindagani na hoti......
hum aadmi na hote ,to gam ki kahaani na hoti.....

who to thoda sa dard seh gaye,
baki ki saza hum bhogat te reh gaye,

kash adam ne hawa ki ,baat mani na hoti....
hum aadmi na hote ,to gam ki kahaani na hoti....

hum bhi aasmaan pe khel rahe hote,
yu na gham duniya ke jhel rahe hote,

yeh bachpan ,yeh budhapa aur jawani na hoti....
hum aadmi na hote ,to gam ki kahaani na hoti....


bhaiyoun aur behnoo
please do reply me yeh kaisi lagi meri gazal.yeh gazal meri pehli gazal thi jo maine 5th grade (school) mai likhi thi.
   
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Sharaabi
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15th January 2003, 02:58 AM

Yeh ghazal nahiiN hai Zeba ji, kyooN ki is ka koii 'radeef, aur kaafiyaa" nahiiN hai jo ek jaisa hi rahe -- to isko bas yeh ek sher ka collection hai..
LEKIN, maine yeh to nahiiN kaha ki aapne acha nahiiN likha
Bahot khoob likha hai aapne, aur chauNkne waali baat hai ki 'paaNchvi' (5th) class meiN yeh 'sher' likhe the

Likhte rahiye,
Aman



"je tu akhiiyaaN de saamne naii rehnaa,
te bibba saada dil moD de..!"


kya karooN? aisa hi hooN maiN..
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sharabi ji
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Zeba
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sharabi ji - 15th January 2003, 05:16 AM

shukria aman sahab,
aapne tareef to ki,waise mujhe kya aap sikhayenge ke gazal kaisi hoti hai ,give me an example.
   
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ghayalparwana
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15th January 2003, 12:58 PM

Zeba jee aman jee jitni knowledge aur talent to nahi hai humne lekin itna jaroor keh sakte hai ke jo 5th grade mein itni imagination kar sakta hai..he has to be someone special..
aapko hamara salaam


kyon zindagi ki raah mein akele chalta hai dost
chal waha chal jahan tere jaise aur bhi hai...
   
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dil_ka_rishta
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15th January 2003, 02:11 PM

wah! kya likha hai aapne.mujhe to shabd nahi mil rahe tareef ke liye.aur aapne to 5th grade mein likha hai ye to aur bhi achi baat hai.itni choti si umar mein aapne itni badi cheez bol di.ye to bahut hi achi baat hai.i hope u keep writing these kind os shers and ghazals more.
luv
janki


Dard agar mujhe chhu na sake....to samjho woh jee na sake...
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Bijili
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15th January 2003, 11:56 PM

Zeba ji,
5th grade aghar aap itna likh sakthe hai ab tho kamal kardenge. intezaar rahegi hume aapki ab likhi gazalon ka.

welcome to site, keepup good work.
Bijili


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shukria bohot bohot
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Zeba
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shukria bohot bohot - 16th January 2003, 03:38 AM

shukria bohot bohot
Mai aap logon ki batoon se bohot inspire ho rahi hoon.
ghayalparwana sahab ,dil karishta sahab aur bijli ji aap sab logon ki housla afzai ka mai shukaria ada karti hoon.

phool abhi hai baki mere daman mai bas ,chunne wala chahiye
Nagme aur bhi hai mere paas sunane ko,sunne wala chahiye.
   
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